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I think you have a better chance of your ex coming back than I do. Mainly cuz you didn't do anything wrong. I, OTOH, broke up with mine, and even tho he was willing to give me a 2nd chance..that all got shot to h*** because he was triggered. Someone pointed out to me on one of my threads...

oh and btw, my ex had said he wanted to be friends, too, at the time he told me to move on. I said I couldn't..my feelings for him were too strong. I wonder if that's their sort of noncommital way of keeping the door open? In any case, maybe he's mad at me cuz I shut it. In that last angry IM...

Ack ack ack, I can SO relate to this. My ex did the same thing in our last IM convo. Accused me of being manipulative. Said "you just want to fight because your narrative requires that somebody be the good guy and the bad guy. Obviously I'm the bad guy"...stuff like that. OMG I was like, what...

Whew, I can totally relate to this. I have PTSD and it's from multiple relationships..but one in particular with a sociopathic narcissist was similar to what you went through as a child. I could do nothing right. Even little things like leaving a kitchen cabinet door open was perceived as an...

I'm trying to get into therapy, but I have to go to a sliding scale therapist, and I'm having trouble because they're all so booked. I'm currently on 2 2-month waiting lists. I can't stop thinking about my ex. I just wish I had found this forum, before I broke up with him. Or even at the point...

{hugs}

That doesn't sound like SECONDARY PTSD to me. That sounds like just, straight-up PTSD of your own. I had an ex who only threatened suicide on the phone, and I was severely traumatized by it.

Or, as a good friend of mine has said over and over, "it's better to be alone than to wish you were." Dating is a minefield, though, I tell you. Sooo many damaged people out there and so many NARCISSISTS. It's like we have an epidemic of narcissism out there. At least I am getting good at...

It's sobering. I just really thought I had come so far from the time I was dating an alcoholic in denial. I feel like I was fooling myself about how much I had conquered a lot of my issues.

Yup. I'm a total fixer. It is a fine balance between, working together on mutual growth, and one person being codependent. Been there done that (codependency), got the t-shirt..

:( Yeah, I just thought maybe there would be some opportunity for growth there, if we could work on these things with a counselor. I do feel absolutely awful about breaking up with him. I feel like, after doing some research, and especially being on this forum, I could better handle his need...

You got that right :(

I get "you broke up with me..i do not trust you." I don't get "you broke up w me..you might kill me in my sleep" or "if i break up w you, you might kill yrself." That, to me, is projection.

My exhusband. While I was in the hospital and nearly died from a drug reaction. My family flew out to where i was living and brought me back to my home state. I recovered there, and while there he served me with divorce papers. It took me 6 months to recover enough to go back to my home...

I in no way shape or form meant to discount what it means to be a supporter. I guess I phrased that wrong. I've just been through a lot, on my own, unrelated to my relationship w someone who has PTSD, which has its own challenges. I've been abandoned due to an illness. I've been with an...

As a PTSD sufferer myself, I wonder if my ex was subconsciously trying to sabotage our relationship. We had 6 months of happiness, then he went distant becuz he had issues with me he was too afraid to discuss. His coldness really hurt. I had to push him to talk to me about what was bothering...

No way..Philly has the worst potholes for sure. A pothole totalled one of my friend's cars :/

It's complicated. I explain it in the "relationships" section. I should point out i suffer from PTSD myself. So i am not just a supporter.

Ok. I got you. I am still gonna get my own therapy..cuz as much work as i have done on myself, this rel'ship really showed me the dangers of lapsing. I am still sad tho that he harbors anger twds me and am having trouble dealing w that. Esp when so much of our disconnect relates to our...

Not now, no.

"That is, his fears are not completely misplaced. You’ve hurt him before. Once bitten, twice shy." Wait, what?? So, it's not totally irrational to go from "you broke up with me" to "you might MURDER me"??? Come on. Breaking up with someone is one thing. HOMICIDE is another. I certainly never...

Whew, you sound so much like me!!! Yup..this is anxiety disorder for ya, with a healthy helping of abandonment fear to boot. And yeah..sure seems people like us tend to end up with those who need space or isolate a lot. My ex was VERY close to me for 6 mos. Talk for 2 hrs at least, every...

I am SO grateful I found this forum. My exbf's behaviors make so much more sense now..I wish I had found it earlier. I, too, am suffering from PTSD..but not in the same way or magnitude that a lot of sufferers do. I've had an anxiety disorder, which was for the most part under control through...

I agree w the people who say no, don't do it--but only because you may not be strong enough to deal with the anger that results from it. I've done this. It never works out well for anyone. My exes have never ever gotten into therapy due to my urging. Trust me on this. She needs to figure out she...

Wow. I started bawling reading your story, because it reminded me too much of mine. I posted mine under "relationships." My ex and I were dating for 6 months before everything hit the fan. He was crying the last time I saw him, too. In our case, tho, I know what I did to trigger him. But it's...