As a PTSD sufferer myself, I wonder if my ex was subconsciously trying to sabotage our relationship. We had 6 months of happiness, then he went distant becuz he had issues with me he was too afraid to discuss.
His coldness really hurt. I had to push him to talk to me about what was bothering him. When he did, they were problems I was totally confused about and had no idea how I was supposed to remedy.
For example, he said that whenever he was feeling bad about something ( like, a minor car accident he got into), coming to me made him feel worse. But he couldn't really say why. I thought maybe it's cuz I tend to be a "fixer", rather than a "listener"? But he couldn't confirm that that was the problem. He thought maybe it's cuz I got concerned about him, and that made him feel worse. Not even sure how to control something like that?
The second thing was he said I had a lot of "negativity and drama." I told one of my good friends I've known for 4 yrs this. He was incredulous. "You're the least dramatic person I know!" I couldn't even get my ex to give me any specific examples.
It almost seemed like he was just looking for a reason to have problems w our relationship.
One of my friends seemed like he wanted to end it, but was too afraid, and was hoping I would end it first.
My ex also said something about how if it's not "fun anymore, we should bail." Which puzzled me cuz a) I can't keep a rel'ship FUN all the time and b) it WAS fun. The night before all that went down, we had one of the best times ever.
That conversation just made me toss and turn..couldn't sleep..was puzzled and confused.
I wish I had found this forum at the time. I might have understood that he may have just needed space and to isolate for a while.
My PTSD manifests differently. I don't go "cold and distant." I go clingy. Or if my fear of abandonment kicks in, it's not clear WHAT I will do. Esp if someone becomes a different person, which I feel he did.
I'm trying to get into therapy, but in the meantime still dealing with confusion over what exactly happened btwn me and my ex.
His coldness really hurt. I had to push him to talk to me about what was bothering him. When he did, they were problems I was totally confused about and had no idea how I was supposed to remedy.
For example, he said that whenever he was feeling bad about something ( like, a minor car accident he got into), coming to me made him feel worse. But he couldn't really say why. I thought maybe it's cuz I tend to be a "fixer", rather than a "listener"? But he couldn't confirm that that was the problem. He thought maybe it's cuz I got concerned about him, and that made him feel worse. Not even sure how to control something like that?
The second thing was he said I had a lot of "negativity and drama." I told one of my good friends I've known for 4 yrs this. He was incredulous. "You're the least dramatic person I know!" I couldn't even get my ex to give me any specific examples.
It almost seemed like he was just looking for a reason to have problems w our relationship.
One of my friends seemed like he wanted to end it, but was too afraid, and was hoping I would end it first.
My ex also said something about how if it's not "fun anymore, we should bail." Which puzzled me cuz a) I can't keep a rel'ship FUN all the time and b) it WAS fun. The night before all that went down, we had one of the best times ever.
That conversation just made me toss and turn..couldn't sleep..was puzzled and confused.
I wish I had found this forum at the time. I might have understood that he may have just needed space and to isolate for a while.
My PTSD manifests differently. I don't go "cold and distant." I go clingy. Or if my fear of abandonment kicks in, it's not clear WHAT I will do. Esp if someone becomes a different person, which I feel he did.
I'm trying to get into therapy, but in the meantime still dealing with confusion over what exactly happened btwn me and my ex.
