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I sound exactly like you in that respect. I think for me (and maybe for you?), part of it is that I relate attraction to sex happening right then without any consideration for anything else. It sounds like a common issue for survivors of sexual violence. I first experienced sex in a...

I like the phrasing that you used, so thanks for that. I have been in therapy for awhile, yes, and I expect dating (if that even happens) will bring up quite a lot, unfortunately.

This is well-put. I've had an online dating profile for quite awhile now but I've never met anyone through the site and I usually don't message people back. If I do, I send one message, two tops. This person seems nice. When I've said no to things (like asking for my phone number before I...

Exactly. I'd like to say something in a thoughtful, planned way if at all possible. And there are a number of good articles for people whose partners have been abused (of course, we aren't at that point, but they are good to know of if I ever get there with anyone), that I might want to share...

I'm a 25-year-old female who is a child sexual abuse survivor. I function fairly well in most areas of my life (I almost have a master's degree, I have my own apartment, etc.) but I find romantic relationships impossible. I'm sure that I'm exceptionally inexperienced in this area (never been...

I really like that idea. In a way, I'm really tired of everything being about my mom, but I think approaching it that way might lead to the least conflict, so I appreciate that suggestion.

Also, it's interesting that you mentioned that your nightmares got better after speaking out. For me, several of my symptoms spontaneously got better right after I told, with no specific effort to address them. Some of them have since gone back a little bit, so it's been like taking two steps...

Those are some good points. I think my struggle has been finding members of a "2nd family", so that is something I need to continue to work on. I think the way I would want to frame it to my parents is that I am feeling really hurt and need some space. I would hope that this wouldn't ruin...

I can't quite remember why my therapist talked about doing it that way. We talk about this off and on, and this was a while ago. I think because I had been talking about needing a break completely for awhile, and how it is hard for me to even get text messages from my mother. I think together...

I do have a therapist, with whom I have been working for about six years. We've started to talk about this issue more since what happened last month, and I'm torn between wanting family but not wanting to be around them. I think I like the idea of having them around, but when it actually...

How have people actually separated? I'm not sure I want no contact at all at this point, but I do want it to be limited, and I'm not sure how to have that conversation and what is a healthy level of contact.

I am 25 years old, and have gone through a number of things both recently and in the past that are really leading me to want some more separation from my family. My family is superficially close, and my mother wants to hear from me in some way every day, and we see each other once per week. This...

This is very well put. Thank you so much! :)

@Alice.in.Wonderland you sound like a great parent. I wish my parents had the self-awareness that you seem to have. All parents make mistakes and are learning from their own childhood experiences, and the important thing is often acknowledging that and any negative effects that your children...

@FridayJones I know you were not questioning my memories. I appreciate you bringing up other points of view that parents might have. I just wish that for my parents, "taking it with a grain of salt" didn't mean completely not believing me.

@Stickler I don't want to believe them either. I am now 24 years old, and I spent almost 20 years trying not to believe what deep down inside I always knew. Things have become so much more difficult since focusing on memories, but I also feel "right" -- I know I'm moving in the right...

Thank you all for your responses. I want to give a little more detail on what happened recently. I still am not sure that it was this person (my uncle) who abused me, but I brought it up to my parents last March because he was coming to an upcoming family gathering and I was feeling...

I have always thought that I was sexually abused, but never had any memory of it. Two years ago I brought it up to my therapist and we have been working on it, including some flashbacks, images, etc. that I have always had but was not sure if they pointed to sexual abuse. I'm now fairly sure...

Thank you all for your responses. I just can't think about this right now….

@Mammo, I think they used to be required here, but I've heard that they have since taken away that policy, thankfully. However, in my experience, doctors are very adamant about having it done anyway. A couple years ago I went to a primary care doctor for a check-up and almost the whole...

Just to clarify, since this post got moved because I didn't mention trauma -- I posted this in the sexual abuse section because this experience is difficult for me given that I am a sexual abuse survivor, and I was thinking that sexual abuse survivors might best be able to help me, and that it...

@Dahlia This is exactly what I don't want to put myself through. I really feel like if I absolutely had to have an exam, I'd have to do so under anesthesia. I'm not even kidding. And I don't think pushing myself to do something if it is going to give me a reaction like yours is going to help...

@twinkle86 I've heard of the vaginal dilators. I have not tried them. This is going to sound awkward, but I've tried to practice using tampons, to just get used to that kind of sensation, and working myself up to larger sizes. I think it was somewhat helpful, but I just don't feel ready yet.

@Simply Simon I agree with you that avoiding it for the rest of my life will not be practical. I do have a therapist that I am working with, and I think that eventually I will be able to work myself up to having an exam, but I don't think I can do that right now. I'm not there yet. I had an...

I've been having a lot of difficulty with menstruation over the past few years (I'm 24), particularly including worsening cramps and mood issues that lead to suicidal thoughts almost monthly. I'd like to try birth control, but I'm worried because I've heard that doctors usually want you to have...