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Ok, this one is better (I suppose I have a better grasp on it). I feel: left behind, forgotten, unimportant, out-of-the-loop and worthless.

I feel like shit. I feel like everyone is watching me and that they are just waiting to smack me upside the head.

Got a bird hanging on my shoulder and another on my pillow. Miss my cantankerous old fart bird though...

Today, I was surrounded by kitties! And, miraculously, they all got along with each other!

God, I still feel ashamed about writing this. I told my T about it and she understands. I guess I'm stuck on 'old tapes' that are constantly telling me how I'm making a 'big deal out of nothing.'

Welcome to the club. Here's your membership pin.

Sounds like the Dad's actions may have triggered you. Not your fault. You deserve to live. We all do.

... popping balloons scare the absolute crap out of you.

Yesterday my bf bought me Easter flowers and made me french toast! Right now, I have two birds 'sitting' on me- one on my right shoulder and the other one on my chest.

Physically, I feel tired- my eyelids feel heavy. I've been stressed out about this week's events and haven't been sleeping right. Emotionally? Hmm, I'm a little excited about seeing my T, but I can't manage to identify anything else.

NIKI: I am so sorry. Murdered? Wow. I'm trying very hard to remain 'polite' and not write what I really think. Take care of yourself.

I think learning how to better manage symptoms/behaviors and be aware of triggers is really all we can do. Having a good support group/spouse/friend/T can work wonders. My ex was not supportive at all and I think I suffered more from that unhealthy relationship. My current bf helps me so much- I...

Feeling happy and sad. I just played a movie of my bird that passed last year and my other bird is singing to it. Sad, but happy to remember.

Was extremely frustrated, stressed and angry today. Now, I'm in neutral again- better than reverse I guess.

FoN: I grew up listening to my mother minimize the effects of my father's insanity, so I am familiar with what you are saying. It really sucks to have your experience 'lessened' by another person, especially someone who is supposed to PROTECT you. I am sorry that you experienced this. You...

Wow. There are a few comments here that mention feeling like you're dead- and I thought it was just me.

I finally did my taxes. Whee! I just ate some lovely chocolate. Yes, I self-medicate. ;) I am proud of myself in that I am finally having some major work done on my house. I do not intend on telling any family members because they will either berate me or try to do it for me (because I don't...