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i’m having an extra ton of REM sleep lately for some reason so my nightmares are weird and intense. last night i had one about CSA (not a direct memory) and woke up feeling puzzled by it but “okay.” talked about it in therapy and had a very intense trauma response as i did. as if it was being...

it wasn’t me who said that but i do somewhat relate. i have wondered about the possibility for some PDs, “tried them on,” and may be subthreshold for some but it doesn’t really seem to work out to disorder level for any one. i personally think closest would be avPD but—not for all of me. i can...

i would also be wary of someone who says that having developmental trauma just automatically means you have a personality disorder. if that’s what he’s saying.

i’m not sure i understand what argument he is making or if you misinterpreted but they aren’t diagnoses of exclusion and shouldn’t be treated that way based on his personal pet theories. you can have symptoms of ptsd from developmental trauma and personality disorder traits from developmental...

wow i had no idea. maybe i’ll talk to my psychiatrist about it.

i’m back there too. i did the attempt at stopping counting for awhile. now pants fit slightly tighter and i’m inching back into deeper restriction. it’s really hell. for me i think it has something to do with feeling my body more and how awful that is. maybe something like that. it is so awful...

auvelity

my psychiatrist mentioned this drug to me but my insurance won't cover it. at least not without a fight. i am intrigued now though.

i searched this forum for this symptom again and came to find my own post. from march. i am still in this place and have barely had a moment free of it. all day i try to work through the static in my skull. i am so tired of it. i have a deadline and i don't know if i can meet it because of the...

i’m not sure about times specific to my trauma history, i haven’t really kept track because generally i feel unpleasant in some way all the time. but i think i always lose my mind a bit in spring, it comes with a particular restless squirming hypervigilant mood, and i’ve heard it is a common...

nope, not at all.

interesting. this seems to be a proposed disorder still? i’m trying to understand it. i think i kinda do but i’m trying to think of examples of a singular event not Crit A that could cause this much damage that a person loses their entire life to it, to the point it is even called...

i just want to say that i have a lot of anomalous nightmares like this one. i have the ones where i am full of adrenaline running from people and things, and then i have these quiet/ordinary ones where in the dream i am calm or even consenting, or the abuser is present but the dream isn’t...

i think there is maybe something i do not like about her voice through a speaker, as well as the pixelation and change in scale? at the same time i feel more disoriented and disconnected by the video version of her, i feel less anxiety of a different sort, less vulnerable and more cut off, and...

i really need in person therapy for multiple reasons. i don’t know if i could even do only telehealth. def don’t want to be paying for it. i have actually had some anxiety spikes about not being able to find someone in person if i need to change therapists again, because i live in an isolated...

i mean, i have amnesia, which is more than i thought, i didn’t really know how much bc i’ve lived alone for a decade now (that’s what i meant by “discontinuity of time”). and what seems to be parts (sorry i don’t call them alters, that’s “discontinuity of self”) that are more like shadows on the...

fwiw i will try to answer you even tho i can’t tell if you’re totally serious at this point. i have a did diagnosis that i got late thirties and i do not feel like i have “a system” very much. rather i feel like i have discontinuity of self and expression, which is related to discontinuity of...

i would ask to see a neurologist, personally.

thanks so much everyone, i had to step away from anxiety about it but i read your responses and i really appreciate them. also i love Labyrinth @Friday

@Midnightmoon can i ask how you are learning to tolerate it? what is helping you get there?

is it an addictive mechanism at its heart? when someone (especially someone in uneven power dynamic) starts to groom me i get sucked in really fast. like really really fast. it’s like in a movie when someone thinks they’re free and moves to escape and looks down to see they have already been...

yes i have had a steady decline for 5 years. decline started mid-thirties and going to be 40 soon. basically i had a lot of trauma i avoided and then experienced more long-term abuse trauma for 3 of those years. then the aftermath of that and everything else has been really awful, and i struggle...

i mean, i think that probably the dissociative disorder + ptsd comorbidity does explain things for me. more than the bipolar ii comorbid dx i also have and think is probably not correct. no PD seems to really fit (not just according to my self-eval but my several MHPs over 6 years) but possibly...

i don’t agree that cptsd is just renamed personality disorder and am happy it’s finally in the icd-11 as its own thing. i do think the new icd-11 approach to personality disorders is interesting and maybe helps destigmatize. they got rid of the individual disorders and now it’s just a...

i seem to have the F-off face as default and what happens is strangers comment on that. they say “you look upset” or tell me to smile or more recently “things will get better” (or something i can’t exactly recall but basically that meaning). i feel like there is an ideal neutral expression face...