Other System - Is it possible to have a system and not notice it until older?

[No More]

You're right, but I have childhood trauma and I can't stop thinking about the possibility. What if there is, I think I'm constantly falling disossciating.

The two are not mutually exclusive. You have to have severe childhood trauma to develop DID, but the vast vast majority of those who have childhood trauma do NOT ever come close to a DID diagnosis. Just because you had childhood trauma it does not mean you need to worry about having hidden DID.

Would it be helpful to look at what’s at the root of this rumination for you? Why is this something you are set on going after? Is it perhaps validation, or is this now the OCD coming into play?

If the dissociation is the most troubling symptom perhaps you could start a thread brainstorming for ways and techniques to tackle that, and help you with grounding and being in the present.

 

[binchilling]

The two are not mutually exclusive. You have to have severe childhood trauma to develop DID, but the vast vast majority of those who have childhood trauma do NOT ever come close to a DID diagnosis. Just because you had childhood trauma it does not mean you need to worry about having hidden DID.

Would it be helpful to look at what’s at the root of this rumination for you? Why is this something you are set on going after? Is it perhaps validation, or is this now the OCD coming into play?

If the dissociation is the most troubling symptom perhaps you could start a thread brainstorming for ways and techniques to tackle that, and help you with grounding and being in the present.

I can say it is validation, thank you. In fact, the real reason for the suspicion was some people's posts on social media that almost anyone who has been traumatized can develop DID. The severity of the trauma was unimportant to them.

 

[No More]

I can say it is validation, thank you. In fact, the real reason for the suspicion was some people's posts on social media that almost anyone who has been traumatized can develop DID. The severity of the trauma was unimportant to them.

This is absolute nonsense from the social media posts. DID is related to a tiny tiny number of cases of severe prolonged abuse in childhood. Severity is absolutely important.

Plenty of people who experienced severe child abuse do not go on to develop DID. That does not diminish their suffering, their abuse, their experiences. It just means they don’t match that particular set of symptoms. We would never say that someone’s adult rape wasn’t valid because it didn’t happen in childhood and result in DID. Suffering is suffering regardless of the diagnosis given to a symptom set.

It is extremely unfortunate that at the moment a number of ‘influencers’ on social media are responsible for spreading a great amount of disinformation about DID (as well as adhd, autism, and categorising valid, upsetting but experiences normal to human life as ‘trauma’). Dissociation is completely normal for people who’ve experienced trauma and have a ptsd, bpd etc etc diagnosis. It doesn’t mean you have DID, and just because you don’t have DID, it doesn’t make your trauma or your suffering any less great or valid.

Perhaps for the time being it might be better to remove yourself from places you are going to see these posts, and stay in more supportive and grounded peer support or professionally therapeutic circles where disinformation is a lot lower.

 

[binchilling]

No thanks.

I come here for peer support (support specifically from people who have it, and get it), not to feel like some kind of spectacle.

Ok thanks but I see very much people who have DID at his forum and u guys saying it is veeeeeerry rare. Isnt it controversial ?

 

[brokenpony]

fwiw i will try to answer you even tho i can’t tell if you’re totally serious at this point.

i have a did diagnosis that i got late thirties and i do not feel like i have “a system” very much. rather i feel like i have discontinuity of self and expression, which is related to discontinuity of time, shifting relationships to trauma, memory, and place. depersonalization (“i’m/that’s/that was not me”) is a lasting substantive problem, and the resulting disorientation.

it is very possible that my therapist is wrong and i do not have did, everyone says how rare it is and how severe the trauma has to be etc, even in this thread, it is all mired in controversy, so i feel like how is it possibly true of me? it’s pretty stressful to be given a diagnosis that you read people everywhere saying does not even exist. i feel like my head is always half-off these days. partially lobotomized.

the % of DID prevalence varies according to different sources. i try not to fixate on statistical likelihood because some statistically unlikely things have happened to me and at the time i told myself they weren’t happening because they were statistically unlikely. instead i focus on symptoms. with my therapist.

you cannot diagnose using this board. i would just go to a psychologist if you’re this worried.

 

[binchilling]

fwiw i will try to answer you even tho i can’t tell if you’re totally serious at this point.

i have a did diagnosis that i got late thirties and i do not feel like i have “a system” very much. rather i feel like i have discontinuity of self and expression, which is related to discontinuity of time, shifting relationships to trauma, memory, and place. depersonalization (“i’m/that’s/that was not me”) is a lasting substantive problem, and the resulting disorientation.

it is very possible that my therapist is wrong and i do not have did, everyone says how rare it is and how severe the trauma has to be etc, even in this thread, it is all mired in controversy, so i feel like how is it possibly true of me? it’s pretty stressful to be given a diagnosis that you read people everywhere saying does not even exist. i feel like my head is always half-off these days. partially lobotomized.

the % of DID prevalence varies according to different sources. i try not to fixate on statistical likelihood because some statistically unlikely things have happened to me and at the time i told myself they weren’t happening because they were statistically unlikely. instead i focus on symptoms. with my therapist.

you cannot diagnose using this board. i would just go to a psychologist if you’re this worried.

I also exprience dpdr constantly over five years. If you have DID diagnosis you should have alters and amnesia. Other way your psych wrong. And I have similar experiences, I feel like my self is lost, I have identity confusion

 

[brokenpony]

I also exprience dpdr constantly over five years. If you have DID diagnosis you should have alters and amnesia. Other way your psych wrong. And I have similar experiences, I feel like my self is lost, I have identity confusion

i mean, i have amnesia, which is more than i thought, i didn’t really know how much bc i’ve lived alone for a decade now (that’s what i meant by “discontinuity of time”). and what seems to be parts (sorry i don’t call them alters, that’s “discontinuity of self”) that are more like shadows on the periphery, some more in focus than others. it’s really hard to explain how it all feels and kind of exhausting rn.

just see a psychologist. what exactly are you here for?

 

[binchilling]

i mean, i have amnesia, which is more than i thought, i didn’t really know how much bc i’ve lived alone for a decade now (that’s what i meant by “discontinuity of time”). and what seems to be parts (sorry i don’t call them alters, that’s “discontinuity of self”) that are more like shadows on the periphery, some more in focus than others. it’s really hard to explain how it all feels and kind of exhausting rn.

just see a psychologist. what exactly are you here for?

It may be a little special, but since when did you start experiencing this? Is it post-traumatic, something that happens again after a long time?

 

[hithere]

I found the easy to read, easy to use, easy to understand book "Self Therapy" by Jay Early, PhD (forward by Richard Swartz) very helpful! A lot of your questions can be answered, and it is a "quick" way to get to all the parts of ourselves that are sabotaging us, trying to protect us (what the field of psychoanalysis would call "defenses") You can map yourself out and do a wonderful discovery of your inner self. Becoming self-aware of triggers & personal relationship dynamics. It's really helpful!

 

[binchilling]

I found the easy to read, easy to use, easy to understand book "Self Therapy" by Jay Early, PhD (forward by Richard Swartz) very helpful! A lot of your questions can be answered, and it is a "quick" way to get to all the parts of ourselves that are sabotaging us, trying to protect us (what the field of psychoanalysis would call "defenses") You can map yourself out and do a wonderful discovery of your inner self. Becoming self-aware of triggers & personal relationship dynamics. It's really helpful!

Are you an şeytan thank you for answer.

 

[Weemie]

At the end of the day, whether you have a pathological dissociation of identity that meets the criteria for DID or not, your experiences are still going to be your experiences.

I was diagnosed with DDNOS and for years believed that I had a sub-clinical presentation of DID, but I have also known that my symptoms don't meet the criteria for any full dissociative disorder other than literal "DD - NOS." AKA, my therapists knew there was something odd, but not what it was.

Very recently, as in this year, we figured out what was actually the issue, and it turned out not to be anything related to DID/OSDD/DDNOS. There are a myriad other things that can cause one to compartmentalize facets of their identity, including things that are literally not disorders. You also mention DP/DR as the reason why you think you have DID, but DP/DR is its own whole separate thing. Having one doesn't mean you have the other, it doesn't work like that.

I have a personality disorder, which is much more common than having DID, even though the one I have is quite rare (actually rarer than the prevalence of DID, if you can believe it - more likely to be the case, but still a lower incidence, snerk).

But my point is that just because my diagnosis changed and my understanding of my subjective experiences became more accurate, my experiences themselves haven't changed. I still have constructs that I've had since age 4. I still rely on those constructs to function. I still give them names and know what they look like.

It doesn't actually matter if it's DID or not. The obsessive focus on whether it is, is not assisting you. What would actually change about your day-to-day life if you were diagnosed with DID? Most likely not much. What is it that you want to change? If you want treatment that is targeted toward DID, you can do that without having a diagnosis or even the disorder. It arguably won't be as helpful as OCD treatment, but it's not like it's illegal for you to try.

Ultimately you need to figure out what it is you actually want from your life and your mental health treatment and pursue it. No one here is capable of diagnosing or treating you. You're the one who has control over the choices you make and the goals you wish to pursue. So go for what will bring you peace.

 

[binchilling]

At the end of the day, whether you have a pathological dissociation of identity that meets the criteria for DID or not, your experiences are still going to be your experiences.

I was diagnosed with DDNOS and for years believed that I had a sub-clinical presentation of DID, but I have also known that my symptoms don't meet the criteria for any full dissociative disorder other than literal "DD - NOS." AKA, my therapists knew there was something odd, but not what it was.

Very recently, as in this year, we figured out what was actually the issue, and it turned out not to be anything related to DID/OSDD/DDNOS. There are a myriad other things that can cause one to compartmentalize facets of their identity, including things that are literally not disorders. You also mention DP/DR as the reason why you think you have DID, but DP/DR is its own whole separate thing. Having one doesn't mean you have the other, it doesn't work like that.

I have a personality disorder, which is much more common than having DID, even though the one I have is quite rare (actually rarer than the prevalence of DID, if you can believe it - more likely to be the case, but still a lower incidence, snerk).

But my point is that just because my diagnosis changed and my understanding of my subjective experiences became more accurate, my experiences themselves haven't changed. I still have constructs that I've had since age 4. I still rely on those constructs to function. I still give them names and know what they look like.

It doesn't actually matter if it's DID or not. The obsessive focus on whether it is, is not assisting you. What would actually change about your day-to-day life if you were diagnosed with DID? Most likely not much. What is it that you want to change? If you want treatment that is targeted toward DID, you can do that without having a diagnosis or even the disorder. It arguably won't be as helpful as OCD treatment, but it's not like it's illegal for you to try.

Ultimately you need to figure out what it is you actually want from your life and your mental health treatment and pursue it. No one here is capable of diagnosing or treating you. You're the one who has control over the choices you make and the goals you wish to pursue. So go for what will bring you peace.

I don't have different structures or parts, and I didn't have any since my childhood, at least as far as I know. But when I look at it a little on the internet, DID seems quite scary, and it makes me uneasy that there are other personalities inside me that are made up by the mind. I wonder if it is possible to experience dissociation and identity confusion without having DID. I don't trust my therapist because I've read that DID was misdiagnosed many times before it was diagnosed.