Other System - Is it possible to have a system and not notice it until older?

[Rose White]

when I look at it a little on the internet, DID seems quite scary

Has anyone ever suggested to you that looking at disorders on the internet is unproductive?

I don't trust my therapist because I've read that DID was misdiagnosed

There are many reasons not to trust your therapist. Have you considered telling them you don’t trust them and why? Such an avenue can lead you into the heart of your own story.

 

[Weemie]

I don't have different structures or parts,

Then you don't have DID.

I wonder if it is possible to experience dissociation and identity confusion without having DID.

Yes, it is. There is a normal spectrum of identity confusion and dissociation both - all humans have this to some degree, which isn't pathological. And then there are pathological versions which are pervasive and fixed - disorders like BPD, or SZPD, for example.

there are other personalities inside me that are made up by the mind

This would seem to be a direct contradiction of your first statement, though. If you don't have different parts inside of you, then you don't have other personalities inside of you, either. If there's no evidence in your life that you secretly have different personalities you don't know about, then there isn't much productivity to ruminating on it. It sounds like the rumination on this is the real issue that is causing you distress. You're thinking about something that scares you, but the actual thing you're afraid of isn't a relevant factor of your existence. By your own account, you know you don't have other personalities.

Essentially you're afraid that you could have DID without knowing it. But this is because you have OCD. You're obsessing about the fact that you could be doing stuff that you have no memory of later (this is a form of OCD called False Memory OCD and it's very common) and making up scenarios in your mind that could happen and ruminating on those. Treat the OCD first, because it's your most significant problem right now. The majority of your threads on this site are related to whether or not you secretly have DID, and this is a compulsion.

Compulsions don't look like washing your hands a hundred times or turning the lights on and off - most compulsions are verbal (confession, reassurance-seeking) and/or research-related. You become anxious over this possibility, and feel compelled to reassure yourself over and over again by repetitively asking others if the factors of DID are in any way applicable to you. I would wager this is why people are starting to become less patient with you, because you're receiving the same answers over and over again, but only a short while later the anxiety you feel creates the urge to ask yet again.

 

[binchilling]

Then you don't have DID.


Yes, it is. There is a normal spectrum of identity confusion and dissociation both - all humans have this to some degree, which isn't pathological. And then there are pathological versions which are pervasive and fixed - disorders like BPD, or SZPD, for example.


This would seem to be a direct contradiction of your first statement, though. If you don't have different parts inside of you, then you don't have other personalities inside of you, either. If there's no evidence in your life that you secretly have different personalities you don't know about, then there isn't much productivity to ruminating on it. It sounds like the rumination on this is the real issue that is causing you distress. You're thinking about something that scares you, but the actual thing you're afraid of isn't a relevant factor of your existence. By your own account, you know you don't have other personalities.

Essentially you're afraid that you could have DID without knowing it. But this is because you have OCD. You're obsessing about the fact that you could be doing stuff that you have no memory of later (this is a form of OCD called False Memory OCD and it's very common) and making up scenarios in your mind that could happen and ruminating on those. Treat the OCD first, because it's your most significant problem right now. The majority of your threads on this site are related to whether or not you secretly have DID, and this is a compulsion.

Compulsions don't look like washing your hands a hundred times or turning the lights on and off - most compulsions are verbal (confession, reassurance-seeking) and/or research-related. You become anxious over this possibility, and feel compelled to reassure yourself over and over again by repetitively asking others if the factors of DID are in any way applicable to you. I would wager this is why people are starting to become less patient with you, because you're receiving the same answers over and over again, but only a short while later the anxiety you feel creates the urge to ask yet again.

As far as I know, I don't have an alter, I mentioned the possibility there. So it can be alters without realising (It's weird that I talk a lot when I'm stressed) , I meant that it scares me that it could happen. And yes, I think you are right, it may be OCD, but this disease can also be comorbid with DID. This is due to my bad memory and the fact that I feel quite strange at certain times. And I also realised after searching I relax, but after that I start disossicaiting again.

 

[Weemie]

And I also realised after searching I relax,

Yes, that's because engaging in compulsions alleviates the anxiety created from obsessions. It's the whole loop of OCD.

 

[binchilling]

Yes, that's because engaging in compulsions alleviates the anxiety created from obsessions. It's the whole loop of OCD.

Thank you so much what about other questions

 

[dart.cree]

> Is it possible to have a system and not notice it both from the environment and ourselves until later ages? This scares me

If you have ever heard "Part of me wants to go with Mike to the movies. Part of me is afraid of his groping hands in the dark" that person has parts -- hence a system. Most people have parts. But in a normal person the parts get along reasonably well.

I suspect we create and absorb parts all the time. In structural dissociation we have parts that do not have full access to the whole brain infrastructure. So: You get beaten regularlly by your drunk dad. Part of you recognizes the signs, and takes over. That part turns off or tuns down to low your pain sensors. That part gets beaten. Keeps the experience to itself. YOU don't remember the pain, because another part 'took the lickin' for you.' This allow YOU to not believe your dad to be a monster.

I found out I was CPTSD when I was 69. Two years ago. The trauma had occurred when I was 3. I've identified about 18 parts, some of which have dubious pedagree, some of which I have merged back in with my main persona, but can switch too as circumstances dictate.

Schwartz has a line, "No bad parts" Each was created/developed to help you survive.

If you want a better understanding of parts, try Fisher's book "healing the fractured selves of trauma survivors"

 

[binchilling]

> Is it possible to have a system and not notice it both from the environment and ourselves until later ages? This scares me

If you have ever heard "Part of me wants to go with Mike to the movies. Part of me is afraid of his groping hands in the dark" that person has parts -- hence a system. Most people have parts. But in a normal person the parts get along reasonably well.

I suspect we create and absorb parts all the time. In structural dissociation we have parts that do not have full access to the whole brain infrastructure. So: You get beaten regularlly by your drunk dad. Part of you recognizes the signs, and takes over. That part turns off or tuns down to low your pain sensors. That part gets beaten. Keeps the experience to itself. YOU don't remember the pain, because another part 'took the lickin' for you.' This allow YOU to not believe your dad to be a monster.

I found out I was CPTSD when I was 69. Two years ago. The trauma had occurred when I was 3. I've identified about 18 parts, some of which have dubious pedagree, some of which I have merged back in with my main persona, but can switch too as circumstances dictate.

Schwartz has a line, "No bad parts" Each was created/developed to help you survive.

If you want a better understanding of parts, try Fisher's book "healing the fractured selves of trauma survivors"

When did you learn that the trauma occurred at age 3? And there were no system symptoms until the age of 69 or did you not know? And are you diagnosed with DID or OSDD?

 

[Weemie]

Thank you so much what about other questions

Refer back to my original answers - they're the same. You're just asking the same question again: "but what if it is DID [since it's theoretically possible in this other hypothetical scenario I'm thinking about]?" 1) if it is, it's not going to change anything about your actual lived experiences, so there's no reason to be afraid. But more importantly: 2) it isn't. It's OCD. Treat the OCD, and you'll find that this problem disappears.

 

[hithere]

Are you an şeytan thank you for answer.

what is a seytan?

 

[binchilling]

what is a seytan?

I tried to write system lol