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It's not foolish @Rose White ... you deserve and have the right to hope for that with a partner... alot depends on the partner of course.. but in terms of yourself, you have the right to want better things in your life, in your relationships and you deserve the right to have that belief...

This 👆👇 @Rose White Also @Movingforward10

He really was! Like a mythical / mystical creature

Went for a walk with a group of ladies in crisis house I'm in atm... and we came across this fella in the wild!! Was quite surreal but such a nice surprise!

Such an awesome picture! 👌👍

Exactly Hugs if you want 🤗

Self bullying is comfortable. It keeps us in a position and a role (which others have directly or indirectly assigned to us) and there's safety in that. .. Because no matter how unhealthy the dynamic is, we're part of something (a social group), and the self blame keeps us being a part of the...

Yep I hear you and know exactly what you mean. I've had this so many times... for me it's a dissociative thing... part of me has an epiphany.. another part takes over and says nope that's too much... let's shut that down for now... and then it's like I go back to square 1 with the denial...

Me too @Rose White ... you're seen, heard and understood....you aren't alone... for me, the worst part is the gas lighting... my experience doesn't exist... not only to those who were abusive but those who weren't but should have protected... the nothingness of my experience (the invalidation...

I'm not sure if can do 1 push up 🤔 Thanks @Friday I'm willing to give anything a go... interesting to hear your experience and how you got there I'm bean in my bedroom but just decided to put the TV on for now... distraction is working betterto calm the system... Will give yoga nidra a go...

So I tried getting into my pj's earlier than normal tonight... then getting a warm drink, then I went to my room and listened to some relaxing meditation... my anxiety went through the roof ffs .. staff did their check and suggested I come down to the lounge ... which I've done... I'm laying on...

Yes this makes seeker... I'm going to try it now... thanks for the suggestion...

👍 Ah ok, I'd always understood that yoga nidra is instead of sleep... and that it you use it too close to bed, it may revitalise you for the evening! So I'd always steered clear of using it... I guess i could give it s try... 👍

Thanks @Roland Yes I've used yoga nidra and like you i find it really effective.... but i find it effective for when I haven't slept the night and need a brain reset during the day (it's the equivalent of a power nap) But I'd forgotten I'd done this and I'd like to start using it in the day...

Have you ever thought of becoming a sleep hygienist? Such a rounded 360 approach... everything you've said makes sense... what i like is the idea that prepping for sleep isn't just about the 15 minutes of what you do before bed ... it's through the whole day and built into your daily routine...

WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS!? Great suggestion...I can't move the bed but I can change what end I sleep at...I don't be looking at the curved ceiling which is very triggering for me... I will give it a try, thank you so much... On this recommendation I just went out on a longer walk in the time...

Simple back story... am in a crisis house. Being here has triggered me for a number of reasons. Night times are especially bad and I'm phobic about going to bed. I've been in a state of 'i can't do anything about it' until last night staff here encouraged me to think about a sleep routine to try...

I mean I think you're opening up a whole different (but obviously valid) convo here that will be relevant to some people but not all... I don't think it necessarily follows that if you've been abused as a child and (likely) didn't recognise it that you'll go on to abuse others... could be the...

Just wanted to acknowledge your loneliness in this.. i know it's hard... i've been in a similar place... have you got an HR department or equivalent you feel you could talk to about your specific difficulties? or a GP? it sounds like to me that over all your struggling with overwhelm... the...

just just read this back and thought I really need to clarify that I didn't mean you don't know generally that certain abusive behaviours are abusive... in saying you can't tell what's ok and what's not, I meant in relation to your own abuse story... there's a blindspot there in each and...

I read most of this thread last night in the early hours and had so much I wanted to say... but between feeling overwhelmed with my own stuff, not having my glasses and being on my phone (squinting!!), I thought I'd leave it til day time to say anything... I dont have anything useful to add...

Thanks for posting this @Ecdysis ... this is the first thing I've seen which seems a bit more encouraging in the sense that cocsa is beginning to be recognised as an actual form of abuse... and one to take seriously...a few years ago this concept wasn't around openly... wasn't a thing... 5 years...

Let us know how it goes if you feel like it.. Other thing to say is I think it takes perseverance... so if not much happens the first time, don't give up

Interesting thread. I don't think dissociation is voluntary. I think you can have voluntary reactions to it once it's started, and in that way you can influence how much it takes hold (with lots of practice/ education). But i don't think you get to control starting it out of nothing and...

Have you ever tried, what i call, mirror work? I'm not sure if it's a therapy technique or not, but it's something i do and find helpful... It's basically being infront of a mirror and looking at yourself, in the face/ eyes, and naming the feelings coming up for you... saying them out loud...