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Wow... that seems like so much work. I can't even comprehend. I really do appreciate you sharing all this, and I'm sorry you've dealt with that you have in your life. That must really suck. I am curious why or how you were able to decide it was worth it to put in that much effort while you were...

You feel like you were able to let go of them? What do you use instead? "to ring?" - are you from Britain? I do have a therapist, two actually, one I've been working with for a little bit and another that I started EMDR with, but neither of them are really to deal with the depression. One...

Thank you for all that information Disco Dancing Queen, I really appreciate it and I will take a look at it after I finish with finals next week. I know self-compassion is something I struggle with, as is self-hate, but I genuinely don't feel like that's ever going to change, and part of me...

It doesn't feel like a light at the end of the tunnel, or that it will get better. I feels like this is it, this is all it's ever going to be. I've tried to change that. I'm trying therapy and EMDR, I'm trying talking to people around me, self-care, acceptance books, etc... it doesn't change...

I don't imagine that's uncommon. The fact that you are in therapy when you have the panic attacks probably creates the situation for the panic--you are discussing or hearing people discuss traumas, problems, etc. and can bring up memories and thoughts centered on those issues, whereas in a day...

I am... I started with a therapist in August and then started EMDR with another a couple weeks ago. The coping skills they discuss helps with the PTSD/anxiety, but nothing does with the depression or suicidal thoughts and feelings. At the end of the day, I still struggle with just wanting it all...

I think my greatest struggle is the depression and suicidal thoughts--the anxiety and bad memories or dreams I can deal with, and certainly they contribute to the depression, but they are not the root of it. I don't know what is. I don't know why I don't want to be here, why I never wanted to be...

That's good you're finding it helpful. Does it make sense as you're going through it though? I know EMDR is very successful, I just find myself so unsure what's going on or what I'm supposed to be doing.

I did my second EMDR session (after the taking the history session) today. I'm having a hard time visualizing/doing what the T is saying. Like, the first time she wanted to work on the old rules I used to live by (long story), but she had me imagine I was in a bubble outside of time, and I was...

Sarah, I just started EMDR with a second T that my T recommended. It's only been 2 weeks so far, and the first one both T's were there for the initial meeting, but I'm a little worried that it might be effecting my relationship with the first T. Already we've had a session and it seemed a bit...