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Yes, this makes sense and I'm working on it. I think I'm really struggling to create emotional boundaries with her, where her position or needs or interpretations don't dictate my value. Cognitively I understand fully the need for and reasonableness of emotional boundaries, but in reality, I've...

Yes, I can see where a stricter definition of the word wouldn't apply in this situation. I was searching for another word, but never narrowed it down. Dismissive, maybe? Undermining? Devaluing was the closest I could come up with. I have kept a list of events that seem "off", and I've gone...

Is there a way to know the difference? All I can control is my behavior and my boundaries. So...where do I draw the boundary line? At the point where I feel devalued, regardless of her intent? Or must I first prove her intent before holding a boundary?

I talked with my T today about a conversation with my mom where I felt she de-valued some of my contribution to our work (I work with/for her in the family business). It was a significant contribution, requiring a lot of time and energy investment as well as financial from my own resources...she...

So, do they think they're making space for other people to have their own opinions while they're really not (which at least would let them have the appearance of equity in the relationship), or do they truly believe there's only one right answer, which is their own? I've watched my mom appear to...

I've been thinking about this a lot, and did some research on collectivism vs individualism. I might be missing some of the significance of the dichotomy, but at the moment, I don't think it's the most accurate dichotomy for this situation. Here are some rambling thoughts, but I'm out of time to...

I asked my T what the criteria should be for drawing a boundary, if it's not a matter of survival. He said he didn't know and hadn't figured that out for himself yet. Since then, he's talked about giving to others in a way that is chosen from a place of freedom and generosity and abundance, vs...

Yes, I've struggled to know where I should draw the line for a boundary. My standard has been, "If I can survive it, then I have to allow it, so as not to inconvenience the other person." My T says I should consider drawing my lines sooner than that--survival probably isn't the best standard for...

Every T I've worked with over the past few years has asked me the same question...what do I need from them, or from my DH, or even from myself, in order to address a particular challenge or to get through something or whatever. I never have an answer because I have no clue what they could do...

This makes sense. I'm thinking on it a lot, and I wonder if my T gets frustrated with me when I get stuck on something. I think he understands that I process better in between sessions, when I'm by myself. And that when I'm resisting his comments during a session, that doesn't mean I won't...

Okay, that's a good point. At the same time, aren't Ts trained to see the good in any client they work with? A psychopath could walk in their door, and the T would find ways to like that person and admire things about him and respect him, right? So, it seems the standard isn't very high. Perhaps...

Yes. We need to work out some specific issues, but we have a very intense work schedule coming up soon and I don't know how I'll possibly have the energy to do all the work and do this family therapy stuff. I spend hours and hours every day thinking about this and trying to work through it in my...

So, I told them about my dx last week. I went over my thoughts with my T in one session, and also in an individual session with famT, to help me prepare my notes. The T suggested I explain up front why I was sharing that information. The famT suggested I add more detailed examples to my list of...

That makes sense. I read an article a couple of days ago that talked about the "spectrum of humanity", and said that aspies are just a part of that fuller spectrum...perhaps an outlying part, and that can be problematic, but like you said, not wrong. I think the big revelation for me in all this...

I hope this is true. But if not, I'm wondering what kinds of boundaries I might be able to use to protect myself. I've met with her one-on-one three times now (we've met as a family three or four times). When I meet with her individually, I have to pay for it myself. That's expensive...

This is a challenge bc I don't really receive love in any of those languages. Gifts...people don't usually know what I want, and I'd rather get it myself Service...I just want everyone to take care of their responsibilities, it's not about me Affirmation...compliments leave me feeling like...

Yes, this is kinda where it ends up going. I think she basically wants emotional softness, encouragement, affirmation--she thrives on compliments and even said to me, at one point, that if she doesn't get enough words of affirmation (her "love language") from the people in her life, then she'll...

I work in the family business, and due to ongoing relationship issues from abuse throughout my childhood, we are now in family therapy (me, my mom, and one sister). My individual T has said that my mom shows both borderline and narcissistic traits, and this is from raw data that I've shared with...

Mom was dx'd with multiple personality disorder back in the 90's after I left for college. She supposedly recovered from that while seeing a therapist who got his degree through a mail-order college degree program (bachelor's, master's, and phd all from the same mail-order school...this was...

I was dx'd with autism a couple of years ago at the age of 42, and dx'd with PTSD back when I was in college. The autism dx came about because pressures in present-day life exacerbated the PTSD issues, and none of the normal therapy stuff was helping. One challenge has been to identify which...

I'm an aspie, and this is the catch-22 I try to explain to people as well. Being alone is energizing, but it doesn't solve the loneliness. If I consistently avoid people, I can ignore the loneliness most of the time. But there are times I must be around people, and then the loneliness surfaces...

It's called aphantasia when you can't see pictures in your mind. Here's a link with a little quiz: Aphantasia How do you remember something if you can't see it happening in your mind? I'm trying to visualize that, lolol. I even visualize words in order to understand them. When someone is...

Interesting. Have you tried writing about events in past tense, third person? Obviously you can write about memories in past tense--you did so in your post here. Were you experiencing those events in present tense as you wrote about them? How did your mind know to put them in past tense? Or is...

That would make sense you can't visualize yourself if you don't see mental pictures at all. Is there another way you monitor yourself? I thought this might be a form of metacognition...thinking about thinking...but it seems to be significantly more involved than simply being aware of your...

So you have a mental image of yourself from some angle other than the location of your physical eyes? Do you know when this started for you? Is it something you use constructively, or is it disturbing for you?