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Maybe you just aren't ready for trauma therapy yet. Maybe you need to focus on managing your emotions day-to-day first. DBT can help with this. There are also simpler CBT therapies that can help with the cognitive distortions you are having. I wish you the best.

@Freida I get what you mean that helping others may help myself. Unfortunately I have used this as a way to avoid my own sh*t. Caretaking and one-sided relationships are pretty much the way I have lived my life and in therapy I am trying to learn not to do that. I'm actually now re-thinking my...

I'm sorry to hear your daughter is sick. Hope she will get better soon. Hang in there!

I have also worked in operational settings for many years. I came back to a domestic position a couple of years ago so I could start PTSD therapy and it has been 100% worth it even though it is incredibly painful at times. However, I recently took a field assignment for financial reasons and...

Well I am sorry that I misunderstood. I was also involved in child pornography and I completely understand what it is to be forced to act like you enjoyed it on camera when you were actually terrified. Why do you think it wasn't actually that bad? Because you know what - it was that bad. Every...

Maybe she is trying to lessen the shame that you feel about your abuse by trying to normalize that the feelings and sensations that many abused children do indeed have. I was a victim of CSA and also feel terribly ashamed by how my body responded to some of the things that were done to me. I...

This is why I hate teletherapy! The exact same thing happened to me. I finally worked up to telling my T the memory associated with a terrible anniversary this month and bam! my internet cuts out. I was left to pick up the pieces myself which even though it wasn't intended taught me that I can...

Are you asking how your therapist can help you get over your paranoia about your treatment team?

Both of my parents struggled with some kind of undiagnosed mental illness/personality disorder/who knows and also got angry and confrontational in exactly the way you describe your parents: superstitious beliefs, "rules", angry exchanges that substitute for emotional connection, profound lack of...

@TruthSeeker I would like to understand better here how money screws up relationships: were you upset/disappointed/angry that your daughter did not repay you the because you were short on cash and needed the repayment to get by in life or was it that her not paying you signified that she didn't...

I think "most circumstances" depends on your cultural context. I have gifted money or things to people in a jam and called it a loan so that the receiver of the gift could save face even though there was no expectation of repayment. Likewise I have been offered money/items when in need, refused...

This is what I need to learn to do, use the writing as a way to record and create accountability for issues I know I will avoid in session. Hopefully this will let me feel like I got something off my chest without pining for a response from him. We just had a mandatory debrief with a...

What about something in the middle: not visiting your family for this 3 week vacation but not cutting them off either? It seems like if you don't want to visit your family during this vacation, you should not visit them. When my mentally ill neglectful mother had deteriorating health, I did...

I meant to say emotional responses to financial transactions vary. I guess life has taught me not to have strong attachments to things, places or money. So if it's taken away, so be it. If it comes my way, so be it. I don't understand why it so important to know the difference between a...

I also have trouble doing things that don't have a practical purpose or some kind of "value". its a rural place right? How about a daily walk, birdwatching with a guidebook and binoculars, training yourself to run a 5k? Will you have internet? Lots of free yoga videos on Youtube. Maybe not...

You sound to me like you are really afraid.

I have had a lot of co-dependency issues and read up on it quite a bit. In my understanding it's not a diagnosis but a way of avoiding and controlling feelings/people/situations. I can see why your T might think the sure-to-be triggering visit to your neglectful parent might be co-dependent -...

I think I do this too. When I find myself in the middle of a mindset and don't know if it's from the past or how to get out, I focus on the one thing that seems manageable or most reality connected and work through it that way. Afterwards I can reflect and sometimes see what the emotional...

@blackemerald1 I am one of those people and it is not a social lie. I think we all have different emotional connections to money and things. I forget when I give other people money or things and am often surprised when they pay me back/give things back. Vice versa, I also forget when people...

@Warrior Chicken I appreciate your asking. I wish I could say I was doing well but I am getting by day to day. A highly regimented schedule seems to be the best for managing symptoms here. The security situation is unpredictable and as threat increases my colleagues get more adrenalinized...

Is he worried you will decompensate if you go visit your dad?

I think you can give yourself permission to let your mother manage her own life. I know you love her but you deserve all the joy that life can offer and caretaking your mother will not allow you to do that. I had to do this with my own now deceased mother. I felt guilty for awhile but once I...

What @Sideways says is really helpful to understand all of this. I am trying to make definitions for these experiences, please tell me if these are not accurate. This is a part: This is a flashback: This is a trigger: PTSD symptom: So what is the difference between a flashback and an...

This is such a scary thing to have happen. My daughter has BPD and for a long time she was chronically suicidal. I can imagine how worried you are right now. Hope she is able to get the level of care she needs.

Check what mental health services are available at your college student health center. Depending on the size of the school they usually offer short term therapy and medication management. For trauma therapy you might have to find someone in the community or do skype therapy with your current...