Treatment team paranoia?

[hopefully optimistic]

Sooooo...I’ve got a therapist, dietician and a psychiatrist. I stopped taking meds last fall, then decided I needed to start again a few weeks ago...and added back in the psychiatrist. Now, I’m freaking out over the “team” and their communications with each other, and feel like I’m reading into shit way too much...like they’re all in collusion to get me to go to a higher level of care (that just happens the psychiatrist is a part of). I know logically it’s not right. But the rest of me wants to run so far away from all of it. And when my therapist asks how she can help-I have no idea. No. Clue. She always emails and asks. No clue how she can help. I do not know. I guess I want you guys to tell me I’m not totally crazy. And maybe some ideas how my therapist can help? I feel like an idiot saying week after week “uh, I don’t know.” Thank you guys!

 

[susannahsays]

I'm a little bit confused about what you're asking us to say you're not crazy about. I have no idea if you need a higher level of care. I guess it wouldn't be abnormal to find that prospect unappealing, if that's what you're getting at. But from what you've said, I'm not clear that anybody has actually said you need a higher level of care. So I'm a little bit unsure if you are being "totally crazy" or not.

Sorry, I don't have any ideas for how your therapist can help. If you don't know, and she doesn't know, how would I know?

 

[Cypress]

Are you asking how your therapist can help you get over your paranoia about your treatment team?

 

[TruthSeeker]

My paranoia was attributed to stalking and intimidation....and co-dependents siding, and me losing a family......but every so often, after the ongoing abuse, that led to the thinking of "people are ganging up on me...."-now I have to stop and really analyze is this real-or is this the past intruding into this here and now situation.

Your message when I read it kinda comes off this way.....seeing them as a group of people out to do harm (negative implication) rather than a team ( a bunch of people with different ideas on how to best help you at this time...who offer options)...

Try examining each of your fears.....about each of the people on the team.....not about the group as a whole.......write down what you like about each one, and what you don't like about each one....write down what you are afraid of......and how each might play out in this fear of yours.......the paranoia......

This "group" of medical practitioners sounds like you've given them a lot of power.......or you may be perceive them as powerful....and you powerless......(a familiar position?? maybe triggering???).....

After you write it all down.....then look at what is fact vs projection.......then talk with your therapist about your fears......that's all I got....but weed out what's not real...that helps me.

 

[grit]

The fear of being crazy, being seen as crazy, fear of being admitted to the hospital without your permission (the team colluding to admit you) are all valid feelings and fears if you were traumatized in such that you were slowly and ambiguously treated. However, if this helps at all, the fear of being crazy or being thought of crazy is actually very sane. Of course it is stressful and anxiety ridden and if not treated can be quite disruptive but having the feeling and being aware of the feeling is a sign of sanity. I am very sorry you are struggling.
The best thing (from my perspective) is bring up as fear. I am feeling of you (the team whoever that might be) thinking of me crazy and they may ask you how or why and then you can say...it is a feeling or may connect to your past etc. bring it up to the reality may diminish its power.

good luck.
ps. this was one of my fears early on in therapy and it was a way of opening my childhood experience - I must have been driven to madness to remember this so vividly in my body as an adult. Painful but treatable at least for me.