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We have lots of alters because of our trauma. When we imagine a life without trauma, it's hard to even conceive of that without the death of many of our alters. It's very odd--we often feel lonely because of the CPTSD and dissociative disorder, but then when we imagine a life without trauma we...

We have done a lot of EMDR directly with individual parts. Initially, EMDR was extremely terrifying--the "tappers" that are often used brought up muscle memories of being hit. We went REALLY slow and did a lot of work on first getting used to the sensations, and then establishing a lot of...

Yes, I have had very similar reactions. A good trauma therapist suggested that I could take down one of her stuffed animals from a shelf--afterwards, I had a huge bad reaction related to feelings of getting in trouble/not deserving. I have had flashbacks triggered by trauma-informed...

As @Sideways points out, dissociation is really common. We think of DID as a very particular pattern of dissociation. There is a continuum of dissociative responses, and the diagnostic labels are somewhat arbitrary classifications of the subranges and variants of that continuum. Diagnoses can...

My very trauma-informed therapist has triggered me in major ways sometimes! We think the difference is that she understands why when we explain that we are triggered, she is caring and sympathetic when this happens, and can use these events to understand the trauma and direct us to better outcomes.

There's a "window of tolerance" in working on trauma. If you don't poke the bear much at all, it's hard to make progress. But if you go too deep, then the process becomes overwhelming. We think the first thing to do is to be honest about your post-therapy experiences with your therapist so...

1. Our parts span a broad range of ages. We have both female and male parts, including a part that switched genders. They also have a range of sexualities. 2. Yes, division continued to happen into adulthood. Our first marriage was deeply traumatic and echoed our childhood trauma, and we...

We think this nails it on the head. We have found CBT very useful in healing complex trauma, but that was in the hands of very empathetic therapists with knowledge of trauma who used it as one of several tools.

Complete agreement with @Movingforward10 , not just about your experience, but ours as well! We were definitely not allowed to get things wrong when we were young, with all the PTSD aftermath. We find it useful to think, "What would a non-PTSD person feel or do in this situation?" From what...

That she invited you over afterwards says to me that she wants to still be friends and does not think of you as a horrible person. I think the key here is that what you perceive as coming out of your mouth is different than what your neighbor and daughter perceive. That's a confusing place...

Thinking of you, Eve. Good luck finding a therapist that fits you well.

We had gum surgery yesterday, so we need to eat mush for two weeks. Baked potatoes with black beans, sour cream and melted cheese. Mashed sweet potato. Baked apple slices with butter, brown sugar, and spices for dessert, with vanilla yogurt on top.

We remember the first time we did the grounding exercises in Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation, and a profound shift happening. That was a mild euphoria. Nowadays, our female parts often feel body euphoria. For so long, being in touch with our body's sensation was so forbidden. We find...

We used academic achievement to avoid our terrors, too (double major, then Ph.D., then mid-career M.S.). Good luck on your journey, and hope you find the right balance in your life so that you can move forward. For what it's worth, we have a government research job, and not an academic job...

Your journey sounds like it's in the right direction, even if it's hard and exhausting. After our female parts came out, we learned that life was better when one of them was in control, but that was only temporary because the male parts' hurts and loneliness was just hidden. Then we found that...

Loneliness with DID is hard. We have had luck with establishing friendship and community within our system of parts, and also meeting a few people with DID through the Healing Together conference: Healing Together Conference | An Infinite Mind | International Organization Dedicated to DID ...

Granola parfait, with vanilla Greek yoghurt, strawberries, & blueberries.

Enjoyed dinner outside.

What would the new part like to be called? We're thinking that a good goal isn't to get them back in the box, but for the you-writing-the-post part to learn how to talk and be present with this new part, and for the new part to learn how to take part in that as well. The question that comes up...

I can see the huge difference in therapy response between my wife, who's been grieving about her parents and has made good progress with a handful of months of sessions, versus me, with dissociative disorder and heavy CPTSD from when we were very young. Dr. Google doesn't capture that...

Just to second Sideways' experience, I've been in therapy 2 1/2 hours a week for a few years, which was a big increase from the 45 min I did for a long time. Recently, my therapist and I just agreed to drop to 2 hours a week for now, and likely down to 1 1/4 hours in the near future.

I had a therapist give me almost zero notice when she came down with a serious health issue that needed immediate attention. The referrals that she found for me were an incredible blessing--she was better at sifting through some options for me than I was at the time, and I ended up with a very...

I'm sorry this has been hard, and it makes sense that it's been hard. Wishing you good healing.

I'm speaking as someone with a male body here, but I'll say that I've had two cases in our family where MRIs only told part of the story. Successful treatment came from the experience and observations of the doctors more than looking at the MRIs. Having the new doctor want to examine you is a...

When I went slow, it wasn't just going slow--my therapist and I were exploring what was pulling me into dissociation in the first place and addressing those things. When I was asked to imagine a safe place years ago, before I understood my dissociation, I could imagine a little room with...