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My largest and first trauma ended almost 4 years ago, with the divorce of my parents and my Mother finally having the ability to rescue her and I from Hell. Before this Summer, let's roughly say March/early April, I had done enough recovery to actually have OVERCOME the night terrors, the...

Whenever I'm under severe stress or triggered from something related to my sexual trauma, I get a massive urge to mutilate my genitals. It feels like they were the cause of this pain...this mental pain and the chaos in my head from this instance of abuse. If I never had them, if they were gone...

We often talk about dissociation; when you become detached from reality, but what association? When an object, action, or place becomes so deeply ingrained with the memory or feeling of past abuse they become synonymous. When something had been tainted so heavily your mind instantly paths you...

I've come to terms with Nightmares...the waking up shivering, crying so deeply my chest aches, beginning my day in a numb fog...it's been long enough that I can cope with those symptoms, horrid as they may be. But the one thing I've never been able to even make a dent in is the fear of that...

Whenever I'm triggered or run into my abuser (which sadly happens far more than it should), I start out ok, thinking maybe I can handle this time. Then I end up triggering and stressing over every single little thing unrelated to the actual abuse, along with the memories as to why I stress over...

I'm new to this...I was pushed to join hard by my Sister who is a sufferer as well...I've been severely struggling lately with the demons in my head, and she has been adamant about the help this site can offer. I have a shred of hope...I want to believe it can. My story starts all the way back...