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    Therapy is a trauma

    I have yet to have a good therapy experience. Even when I find a good therapist, something shifts in the person. Something triggers the person. They make me feel like I'm too much to handle and a bad person, and they abandon me in emotionally traumatizing ways. They do it in ways that put them...
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    Sexual Assault Relationships after rape

    Since my rape, I have fallen numb to every kiss and every romantic encounter. Even if I truly want to be with that person, I dissociate and become just an empty object for the duration of any romantic contact. Does that ever change? Do you (when do you) tell the person you are dating, especially...
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    Sexual Assault Healing from rape

    I don't know what to call my assault. So I call it rape. End of story. But it took me 3.5 years to get to that 'end of story' decision, and I still battle with it every minute of every day. In my opinion, though, step 1 from healing from a rape is to stop fighting with the definition. Rape...
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    Attachment and boundaries

    I know this topic has been posted A LOT, but it's such a strong experience, I need to post it again. I have been working with my therapist for a number of years with some months off (by accident) and one year where she decided against working with me; and now we work over the phone, 2000 miles...
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    The Semicolon Project

    I wanted to share this blog post, but I can't just post it for some reason. So, spelled out, google the following: hpwritesblogs on wordpress. I love the concept of the semicolon. I hope it helps inspire yet another individual struggling with depression, PTSD-based or otherwise.
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    Depression And Vitamin D Deficiency

    My Vitamin D is low . . . VERY low. Is that a likely source of depression or am I giving myself false hope that my emotional issues can be "explained" by science and easy fixes?
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    Sexual Assault Random "addiction"

    I read another thread about exposing yourself to triggers intentionally, and it resonated so much, I decided to start another thread on it just to see how common it is and to find out how you went about admitting such a thing to your T. For me, since my sexual assault, I've been addicted to...
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    Sexual Assault Don't Take This The Wrong Way But . . .

    I was sexually assaulted. I was terrified for my safety and it was traumatic without doubt. But, now I find myself in a place of wanting to be raped. I don't mean this in the sexual fantasy way of wanting to be dominated but being in control of my thoughts. I mean it quite literally. Ever...
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    How To Heal

    What steps have you taken to heal from depression? I want to actively fight this state of depression and loneliness (from lacking my voice and thus lacking the capacity to connect), and I do get myself out and moving, but nothing seems to lift this dark cloud. Any ideas?
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    Sexual Assault Healing From Sexual Assault

    So, I'm healing from a sexual assault and have a few questions. If you have input on any or all, I'd appreciate hearing from your experience: (1) What does the healing process entail? What kinds of steps do you take? (2) Do you need to verbally tell your T your story or is writing it enough...
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    Therapist Experience Level

    If my T doesn't have much experience dealing with sexual assaults, do I need to see another T, too. I see her for an ED and general life things and she is great, but I feel like, when it comes to the assault, we talk about processing it but we never do anything to process it. It's like she...
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