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Yes or course. My opinions/feelings didn't matter.

I'm starting to realize I don't trust myself at all when it comes to how I view the past. I don't trust my choices. I don't trust my memories. I don't trust my opinions. Nothing. Someone asked me if I was maybe gaslighted growing up so I cant see it. Made me think! Over the years when ever...

Please, for the sake of yourself and your baby find a good trauma therapist and get help. It may seem scary or impossible but you will ultimately be so thankful you did. Don't just suffer it alone. It won't get better without healing. Hugs!

Maybe just go see the counselor as the guest step. Don't worry what you will say, or right it down just like you did here. I hope you can get some help, it's nice fun to suffer through it all alone.

Yes I think your analogy is what many Ts call your window of tolerance. We all have a window of tolerance and PTSD makes it pretty small. So we have to go to therapy to expand that window so we can handle the everyday stresses without panic or going off the deep end. When we don't any stress us...

Go see a counselor because it isn't the job interview that's causing you stress. That's only a trigger thats causing you symptoms. You need to address the trauma underneath it to heal the real issue and stop the symptoms that are affecting your life. Definitely not a waste a time!

Definitely think this is normal. I bounce all over and think I must have made it up or that I'm exaggerating etc. Or I just disassociate and it feels like something way out there from a movie I once saw but doesn't belong to me. My T always says that we work with what are brain is giving us...

Hearing everyone's experiences is so helpful! I knew this would be hard but had no idea how it would be. It's so helpful to hear ideas for coping..I have small kids to take care of so I'll have to get creative. Thank you for all this information! It's definitely something I'll think about and...

Welcome! I was recently diagnosed as well. I started therapy 2 months ago after making excuses to avoid it for years until I started having flashback/ Body memories of CSA. I am so glad I started even though it's been really hard! I wish I had dealt with things earlier. This forum has helped me...

This is great advice thank you! I definitely will start putting in more prep work before. I realize lately as I'm dealing with all this, that I need to start working on making my life easier for the bad days, but doing it before therapy days would be so helpful.

Thank you for sharing this. I definitely feel disgusting sometimes that I could possibly imagine these things. I'm still working on being able to not think about it. My T says to stop myself if I realize I'm trying to purposely compute things because it can actually make the healing process...

So I'm finding since starting EMDR that I feel pretty good the rest of the day after therapy. New Insights and clarity...some peace. And then the next day all the stuff we worked on is in the front of my mind and it's horrible and I doubt everything we worked on. The " memories" we focused on...

Going through something so similar. It's so hard. I wish I had more to offer, just solidarity

Thank you for sharing this. Can I ask..did you have a decent relationship with him up until when the flashbacks started? Did it seem impossible to you that the man you knew was capable of that?

As memories are surfacing, I'm struggling to accept them. But more so, I'm struggling to accept who it was that did these things. I have unclear pictures and different situations. But, things slowly seem to be coming forward and its scary. My flashbacks have my father in them.EMDR is taking me...

When I met my husband I didn't have a formal ptsd diagnosis. I just new I had some serious issues. I told him I'd sabatoge the relationship and push him away. He knew it and promised to stick through it all. There has definitely been days I've pushed to hard and it's been hard for him. I don't...

Yes! My T says it doesn't matter if it's true because the brain is putting it there for a reason, but...in my mind it matters. Especially when my brain is telling me someone in my life perpetrated it. But, she also says maybe we will never know for sure and all we can do is deal with what we...

Welcome! This forum has helped me so much to not feel alone in my trauma. I found it somewhat comforting to realize that my bad habits and reactions to life were not just me being crZy, they were trauma responses and coping mechanisms. It's great you have come to see that too. I feel like it's...

Somehow I missed your post. I appreciate knowing I'm not alone in this. I think more the anything, it has helped me to read others experiences and see that in many ways " we are all the same". It's comforting. Having these memories all the sudden is horrible. Like how?? How could this be...

I've just always endured it and dealt with the fallout. Now I'm starting to get flashbacks and there is no way around it. Yesterday I ended up having a memory come back and ended sex by crying and ruining it all. I felt so bad. I have to fight to keep my mind present. The problem is now my...

Sick , rejected, abandoned, vulnerable, anxious...after reading some old emails between me and my parents.

I don't want to KMS and I don't want to die...but I often feel I don't want to live. Sometimes it's good to recognize the difference.

You are so right! It's hard to let go of things we can't control and it is amazing that our brains can protect us so perfectly. Thanks for the great reminder! Mt T says we work with what our brain gives us and that's enough.

I'm going through similar. The " memories" started in the last 2 months and things have escalated. I definitely doubt how can this be true when I think about it. But then I also think why would I make it up. I also have new memories that pop up and tell more of the story. My biggest hold up is...

I'm in the midst of body memories and flashbacks. Unsure of them and who did it. That said..I was remembering my neighbor from the time when this abuse would have occurred. I was 6 but I remember his name clearly. I sometimes would go over and talk to him and try to help him. I vaguely feel like...