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NIKI said: Yes, I do have an estranged sister. We haven't spoken in 8 years. I'm very hurt about it. She is my older sister and only sister. She is very self centered and the type of sis that if she hears I am having any difficulties in life she can't get away from me fast enough so as to not...

sorry about how your sister treats you, NIKI? I have the same wish as you desiring a supportive sister. Truth to tell with me, the sadness of the relationships in our family seems to have affected me greater than the others. I guess I had too many expectations of what a family ought to be or...

thanks ladee. i appreciate the support and I agree with you. I wonder what that must feel like to have her gone, permanently from your life. With my parents, I was relieved. When we visit where we grew up , I drop the kids off so they can go visit her and it is hard as it feels like such a...

My older sister (now age 67) was an arrogant, mean bully growing up. She was embarrassed of her family and taunted her siblings. Through our adult years, she has not changed but is extremely subtle with her abuse. I cut her off in 2006 when our narsisistic mom passed away, I had had enough. My...

thank you berlinda?

I need to share this simple little poem that came to me this morn. It is the first time in many years that I, for a moment, came out of the darkness of my mind to endeavor rhyming. I will count it as progress. Please forgive if too simple for you or does not make sense. It makes sense to me. I...

Ptsd can be so tough, preciouschild. keep keeping on!

Yup on this one..... then i get my vulnerability hangover which feels shameful and I don't want to talk for a while and the cycle continues!

The main one was clonozopan (sp?) and another I cannot remember the name. Also , the last year on meds I was testing THC consumption to alleviate anxiety. I think I did maybe 2-3 years of these meds this time (did meds a few other times in 25 years for depression/anxiety before PTSD diagnosis...

Yes, bellbird, headphones with music or podcast helps distract from all the emotions you describe that I totally identify with in that particular situation. I also am trying to embrace my feelings with what little compassion I can muster since I do understand the root of where these feelings...

I hear you Friday. I can have it all together one day and then kaboom I can handle nothing! This happened yesterday: I was clear minded, paddleboarded with a friend, did errands, had a few great chats with others..... In my head thinking I will never go low again. It seemed impossible to go down...

Totally relevant! I relate so much! and yes, I do what you do, keming, Thanks for a new perspective on the word "trying". And, I don't try too hard most of the time, only gently nudges to "give it a try". Pushing too hard only triggers me.

Just want to say that I am not a supporter but I find this info helpful. I did not read it all, just the gist. As a sufferer of ptsd and having difficulty finding relief, I noticed that I had an enlightenment when I sat with myself this morning, just breathing with no distractions. I realized...

The thing I am learning about me is I never learned to talk to myself. No one talked to me, neglect. I have trouble coming up with language/words to think and talk to myself about. It is the emotional state I “went to” when I was ignored/neglected. I wish I could get myself to open up to myself...

This feels like my experience. I feel like I am in disassociation and in some sort of disassociated, numbed emotional flashback most of the time. Things do not seem very real to me. Just starting to realize it. I don’t relate to psychosis nor de-realization (I guess I should feel lucky). Trying...

I just came to site after about a month and saw your post in response to mine Still Standing...... gosh, I just spent time trying to engage with others in various situations this month. I am wondering if I should just quit having the goal be to trust people and maintain friendships if it is so...

Grit made a point that has been on my mind this morn as I decompress from my latest human interactions. The social responsibility I feel towards this subject. I feel I am getting nearer to the point that asks “Why do I get so hung up on feeling obligated to have friendships when they are so...

Gosh, I feel like you just described me exactly, still standing, I am glad to hear others do what I do. I turn myself into an act when I interact with others. I know why but I still do it. It is what my narcissistic mother did. I never thought I would see the day I would be like her in any way...

It looks like my amygdala is programmed to feel unsafe, since birth, most likely. 24/7. I have no memory of feeling safe, ever. I would like to be able to do this.... so far it has not happened but daily I try so many tactics to help me feel safe. For me it is having other humans...

I think I can handle the white noise and that’s about it right now

Gosh, 65 years of some form of disassociation for me. It seems I am most often stuck in disassociation. Yesterday I could barely associate with anything. I realized yesterday the only reason I was alive is because of my son and his wife and children. My sister ended it and my brother is totally...

I have CPTSD. It is daily a lot of work to not be triggered and go down the long dark hole. I have made progress; i don’t stay depressed for long periods of time anymore. I notice if I have a good day or so with fewer symptoms (because I have worked through a lot), I will think I must be getting...

Seems like the biggest message I have gotten around this subject is to love and accept myself. I try to say that I love me and it is OK, no matter what I am feeling. It is hard to do as my feelings are so hating towards myself. Lately I just say to myself “I love you” “you are OK, everything is...

I identify with your thoughts and feelings. I realized (when I found a therapist who diagnosed me with PTSD and found her to be someone who slowly helped me find/verbalize my truth), I realized that openly discovering /revealing memories and feelings with another human being (despite the fact...

Reading emotional opinions on this controversial subject is very triggering to me. Conversion Therapy understandably would not work for gay folks. Education, not religious or uninformed opinions, is needed by therapists and general public. I “get” the subject of conversion therapy for a gay...