Search results

Something that is abundantly clear to me is that I am not able to wait tables at the moment. That level of stress combined with an utter lack of control of so many variables I'd be facing - no thanks. Dealing with guest complaints over trivial matters and moving at that pace - no can do...

Although I am absolutely exhausted right now, today I stood up for myself and I liked who I am for a brief period of time and for me that's just remarkable. Without going into lots of detail, someone who I told could have a refridgerator, free of charge, from a rental unit behind the house I...

Hi everyone. I have not been here for some time and returned a few days ago to chat. I realized something - people here get it, people here understand. Today has been a really difficult day for me and I'm glad it's coming to an end and that this site exists. I have been reading through the...

I have been away from this forum for some time. For a while I had what I considered some progress - but as so often happens, something will sneak up on me and knock me back down and I wonder if the progress was just wishful thinking or an illusion to begin with? What is bringing me down right...

Something I am figuring out is that lack of sleep really triggers me. Even if I can avoid being triggered, I feel horrible and not up to dealing with people once a certain lack of sleep line has been crossed. Duh. This may seem obvious to others but it has taken me time to figure this one...

This is something I am struggling with right now. I have had to slow down and accommodate the realities of PTSD into my life. This means taking better care of myself, moving slower, placing my health above what other people think of me, or wanting/buying nice things. I have had to make...

Today I was on Facebook and I was chatting with someone who used to wait tables with me at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. I found out that a manager that I didn't like (this was mutual) was fired for some reason and they needed people for the end of the season, at least to bus tables. I...

I am so ambivalent on this subject, about going back to school with my PTSD. I have found a program at a community college that is actually affordable and I do have interest in and it could lead to self employment - all my criteria have been met there so far. The program is in Web Design and...

Recently, I accepted a shop with a mystery shopping company. I performed the shop, and when I came home to input the results online, there was a glitch with the software and I could not submit it. So I sent an email explaining and I was then rescheduled. I don't want to write a novel here but...

I had an appointment with my counselor last week where she mentioned that I might want to think of what my biggest triggers over the years were and how I might find ways to avoid them. So I have been thinking - honestly making an effort to go back into the past and find a common theme. I seem...

Just as I have stated, I am very grateful for the upcoming changes in US health care. I live in a state (Arizona) which has opted to expand Medicaid and since my income has been pretty low this year I don't think I am going to have difficulties in getting onto the expanded Medicaid plan. I...

I just slept straight through from 8:30 PM yesterday until 10 AM today. So this is what being awake feels like! It's been awhile since I have felt awake to this level. I'm thinking clearer and I think I will be able to get a few things done today that require some thinking, the kind of things...

I've been away from here for several months and I'm back now after a fairly disastrous summer of thinking I could get my act together on cue. It's good to be back here, and I realize once more that PTSD is not something I can just wish away or mark some dates on my calendar in the future that I...

I have had a rough couple of days and I find myself just trying to put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. I'm not sure what has triggered this but I have been wanting to just disconnect and hide and not deal with anything the past few days. I have had obligations to fulfill...

I recently made what I considered a mistake after returning from my recent vacation. Actually, a couple of months before my vacation, I looked up this guy on Facebook that I dated a little over ten years ago and sent a message wishing him well and giving a few bits of news. I heard nothing for...

I flew back to Phoenix yesterday from Austin and landed and it was like BOOM as soon as I arrived in baggage claim my cell phone was ringing with issues and problems to deal with. I find that I am just not in the mood to deal with much - I'm sure this is childish but I don't want to go back to...

This is an update on my vacation here in Austin, Texas. I am learning that I am able to get out and do things like go to museums, go to restaurants (this one is very draining though) and go to thrift shops (trying to get some decent clothes together).....I am able to do these things, yes, but...

I am on vacation at the moment in Austin, Texas. I have been doing what I need to do here but have also had some time to do some things for me. Today I took the tour of the state capital and before PTSD I would have been so into this and excited as I am a museum geek. It seems like excitement...

Sometimes I really wonder what is it with me? Here I am about to leave town for nine days to a place I honestly like - and with some time to do things for me - and I just feel nothing about it, totally numb and bland. I wish I could recapture that spark again, that joy, that fun.....Does...

I am taking off for Austin, Texas for ten days this coming Monday and am kind of looking forward to it as there will be some time for me and what I might want to do....but even with something positive about to happen, I am having such a hard time getting motivated to get packed and get going...

I don't know why this is happening, after having a few fairly decent days, but today I am having a really how energy day and the thought of getting off my futon to do anything is enough to make me feel more tired. This brings me down more as I had grand ideas of getting a lot done today....I...

I'm just curious if other people here have found they have to go through a process of acceptance in regards to PTSD? For me, it has been something along the lines of things are just not going to be the way I once thought they would be. Also, I am probably never going to hold the type of job I...

(Mods please feel free to move this if I have put this in the wrong area, I wasn't sure) This summer when anything would go the slightest bit wrong I fell into this pattern of holding my head and doing a mini-primal scream. I had reached a point where I couldn't deal with any problems or make...

I'm off to do a mystery shop. It's the one thing I can handle these days and I'm glad to have this shop today as it gives me focus - I need to get showered, shaved and dressed and get my act together to go out and take a bus across town and play the role of someone interested in buying a...

After having finally gotten some sleep - finally - I got myself together and went over to a large national drugstore chain where they often have supplements on sale for buy one, get one free, and I found 5-HTP for 12.99 for two bottles with 30 pills each. I don't expect any miracle cures here...