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You gotta start in the outer rings. I have had this trouble too. I think I go pessimistic and feel I'm never going to get thru this stuff if I can't get rid of everything with the work I've done so far.

I think D123 is right on every point made. Maybe you're at a point where you are healthy enough for you brain to actively work on that horrible time. When I've gone thru trauma it has taken a long while for my brain to heal enough to process things and remember details.

I'm a female sufferer as well. I have a support team that really helps me and each other. My ex is my biggest supporter and has even given me money when I couldn't work so I could get treatment, not worry about finances, etc. But the dogs are who I live for. I have three and need each one.

The therapists at Intensive Trauma Therapy (ITT) helped me a great deal. They treat people on a weekly outpatient basis. Its pricey but worth it.

Wow! Get a new therapist. Keep looking until you find one you can trust. That's a horrible person that says that to you and doesn't try to help you find someone who can help you. My first therapist fell off his seat when I told him what happened to me. I dropped him and it took me 16 years...

Its hard to find a good therapist and starting all over is just as bad. I hope the new one is good for you. Maybe it will be a good thing.

I have had these same feelings. All of what you have posted is a normal reaction for someone who has gone through what you have experienced. I think you'll find that is true the more time you spend researching PTSD, molestation and following this forum. It is important for you to feel...

I find that my anxiety heightens when I have to share deeper details as well. My therapists said that facing those things, worrying about being judged, etc is anxiety inducing. So, for that matter, its sounds like, despite the anxiety, you are taking steps in the right direction. I think you'll...

It sounds to me that you had to do it, regardless of the outcome. You simply can't park there. It took a lot of courage to come out to your boss about the PTSD. Its not something we sufferers share lightly. I agree with AshDawn that people, even those close to us, can't understand it. Heck, I...

I found the diagnosis to be both a relief and scary as well. I was first diagnosed 16 years ago and ignored it, pushed it down. I didn't understand it, thought it would go away on its own. Now I'm worse--to the point where its difficult to work sometimes, and certainly difficult to not have...

Its what is best for you but I wouldn't be here today without the meds. They help keep me sane and able to work--especially when I'm anxius. Not all meds work equally well with all people so trying it for a while to see if you have any side effects is important. You may have to go thru a few...

One thing my therapist has me do is write with opposite hands. I'm dominant right, so my right hand is my "ANP" hand asks a question of the left "EP" hand. My left hand answers. The right hand is suppose to acknowledge the statements the left is making in a non-judgemental way. It sounds weird...

I agree. My dogs have been my touchstone to this world. I knew I was in serious trouble when I was dissociating from them. They help to ground me and keep me sane. Nothing like the unconditional love of a dog. :)

Glad you're feeling better! Hoping the night is good!

Sorry I'm thinking of how I react to my meds. I should have said 'less or more'. I'm on antidepressants as well as anti anxiety and when they're off I'm batsh!t crazy.

I know that feeling.

That all sounds familiar. I can't believe they don't take it more seriously. I have to get my friend who is a doctor to call and get me in faster in a few places. Its ridiculous. Its really hard to reach out in the first place and then you can't get the help you need when you need it. I've found...

I agree with Ayesha and Abstract. This sounds like your meds need adjusted--maybe a little less. Your body may be processing it differently for some reason and just needs tweaked down. I'm glad the sedatives are helping you to slow down. I'd call my doctor or therapist about it. They would want...

Me too. I have to anti anxiety or even benedryl to get the creepy crawlies under control. Anything to sedate my nerves.

Grounding should eventually take you to a safe place where you are calm in spite of the trauma thoughts. Maybe seeing it in this light will help you to achieve it.

I have had trouble with grounding too. My therapists took me through it several times a day in guided grounding before I could do it. Dissociation feels addictive to me because I find it to be a place of comfort. Is this the same for you?

I would talk to your therapist or psychiatrist, if you have one. You may be experiencing mania. I'm not a doctor so don't take my word on it.

People who know what you're going through, people who are on this forum do not see you as weak. You are very being very strong in the midst of a crisis. Reaching out is the hardest thing to do when you are suffering from PTSD. It is hard to describe your pain, to explain it. And you are doing...

It will take a few times of practice to get there. If you don't want to have someone read it to you, record it yourself and put it into your phone or ipod.

It might help to have someone read this to you slowly so you can practice: Grab and object--a stone, coffee cup, pen. Sit with you feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes. Take a slow, deep breath and feel the air move through your nose, down your throat, into your lungs and back up and through...