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Wow Unaware, you basically read my story back to me except that I somewhat knew the root of my wife's issues all along but spent a decade as a punching bag out of loyalty/duty to help her get better. I too had a total breakdown and as result deal with complex ptsd/trauma issues. I wish I...

I feel like that poor guy in the Greek myths who pushes the boulder up the mountain over and over. I guess this rant is both life and PTSD related. Anyone ever feel like you are right on the brink of making the corner to getting better and it never fails that something else comes out of...

I could answer yes to everyone of those things. I stopped praying and going to church, question many of my old beliefs, completely shut down and isolate from people when I am struggling and have been spending 2+ hours at the gym almost daily for the past couple of years.

It stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). It is a type of trauma therapy. It worked awesome for me, others haven't had as good of luck. It makes life worse before it gets better so Its definitely hard on people. There are tons of threads about it on the...

I used to get the shakes badly when doing EMDR. I would just almost shiver. Not sure but in Peter Levine's "Waking the Tiger" he describes this as a response to releasing trauma. For example when a gazelle escapes the attack of a lion, they have observed that the animal being attacked...

Welcome, Yes you can get CPTSD (Complex Trauma) from prolonged psychological abuse. That's primarily what mine stems from. People on the forum get really hung up on the proper name and having an official diagnosis but for me it was hugely beneficial to just know that all the crap I was...

Bad idea rich, Ive done it both ways. First time I went cold turkey, I was a total mess mentally and had all sorts of medical issues. My legs swelled up to the point that I couldn't get boots off, had all sorts of weird stuff going on . The second time I tapered and I feel much better now...

I totally agree with BIW, EMDR was a life savor me with multiple traumas. I did experience bad lows and all those symptoms after a good EMDR session where a lot of things surfaced. It typically lasted 3-5 days but some as long as 2-3 weeks. Be patient and gentle with yourself. EMDR is not...

Save the marriage at what cost? Totally mental destruction? I get that you took a vow, I get that you want your family intact but you cant martyr yourself in the process. She is abusive, she isn't going to change on her own. Put you foot down as hard as it is and demand different or...

Thanks for all the input. To clarify I have finished my EMDR, therapist has put me on a "call as needed" basis and I'm doing really well considering the past couple years. The drinking hasn't been for coping and has just been in social settings. It just caught me off guard that my friends...

This may be a stupid question but I'm going to see if anyone else has this happen. I used to dissociate a lot. After my EMDR and a year of hard work it has become more rare that I dissociate and usually just under extreme stress. One thing I have noticed is after having a few drinks, at...

After a year of steady EMDR and meeting with my awesome T, yesterday she says, I think we are done. I was a little taken back and she explained that we have pretty much worked through all major stress points in my life, we have processed all of the remembered trauma and we havent really had...

Relax TTH, the more you do it, you seem to expect and get used to the 3 day post EMDR crash. Its never fun but as I've been at it for a year, I find relief in knowing that the 3 day crash is due to progress. If I dont get anywhere on a session, I dont typically have the crash. So the...

Snowwhite, I do this sometimes while doing EMDR. I seem to have good sessions and bad sessions. On those days I cant focus, it tends to not be a very effective day but I kept trying and have had great results with EMDR. My advice is to give it a few times before you give up on it...

EMDR has been a life saver for me and hugely effective. But as stated, its not necessarly a fun or easy process. After an EMDR session, you typically get worse before you get any relief (or thats how I am). So definitly want some stabilty and ability to get grounded before starting and...

We dont have to make forever decisions in the beginning. If family is causing us more harm than good now, do what you need to for now. Taking care of ourselves is the priority. Once we have progressed in recovery, then we have the mental stability and capacity to make the big decisions on...

FoxGlove, please take the power back from your family. They dont get a choice in you life if they are going to be in denial. Stepping back from family was one the hardest but most rewarding tasks of my life. Just get through the day Fox, and then tomorrow wake up and do it again...

But why?? I just cant wrap my mind around what benefit it provides to troll on a site like this. There has to be a reason for someone to go to the trouble. Is it just attention seeking or something else?? Sorry, Im new to the whole forum thing, this is the only one I participate on, just...

This one struck a major nerve with me. Not only did I suffer the trauma, I had all my super christian family making it my fault because I couldnt pray it away. "There has to be some sin in your life or lack of faith". So in essence, I had the trauma, then the family against me and then...

Good for him. I went cold turkey off Lexapro once, whew, hard lessoned learned. I'll Never ever do that again. I was a mental wreck of course buy my body went nuts. I swelled up like a balloon. THe Dr. game a diuretic and I dropped 20 pounds of fluid in one day. It was a terrible...

That is a great book. Just curious if anyone feels like their language changed after trauma. Along with many other things including views of life and people, my "Love Language" was different afterwards.

Unfortunatly making ourselves vulnerable is a terrifying thing for most of us. Im sure he doesnt like being that way, its just a struggle so dont take it personally. "Bless Your Heart";) for sticking by him and being supportive, just dont let it take to much toll on you in the process.

Hard to say what the root of his issues are but two things you said were red flags. He is constantly in a push-pull pattern with you and you feel like you are walking on egg shell with him. You need to be careful to not let yourself become a punching bag in this situation trying to be a...

Go find a new therapist. Search out one who specializes in abuse and ptsd. It took me 4 therapist to find on that understood and I didn't feel like I was talking to a black hole trying to explain myself. When I finally found someone who knew what they were talking about, it was like a...

One other thing from the above post that I wanted to mention. Many times when I over drink, true emotions come out and the hurt comes to surface. But many times I just get hugely pissed at the world and the fact that Im this way. I have had times where Im just pissed and spew venom with...