Undiagnosed New To Forum & Question About C-ptsd

[RedRose]

Hi there, I'm completely new to the forums and to be honest, not 100% sure if this is the place to be looking for the advice I'm after, but will give it a try!

I'm trying to find out more information about complex post traumatic stress disorder - can anyone tell me if this is a place to ask for advice on this?

Basically I want to find out whether the label 'c-ptsd' would fit me at all..... from everything I've read I do feel it describes me pretty well, but then again it's still hard to tell. I've been in therapy for around eight months now, and realised that everything that happened with my family in the past ten or so years constituted pretty bad psychological abuse, resulting in a couple of total breakdowns on my part. There was also childhood trauma which I have only vague recollections of, and have heard about mainly from family. There are a lot of other details here too but I'll be brief for the meantime....

I guess I'm a little cautious about putting all the details out publicly online but am happy to put out some to get some advice..... so first question: are there any people here actually with, or with knowledge of c-ptsd? and secondly, i guess i'm wondering if it's possible to have c-ptsd resulting from severe psychological abuse, or does it have to be physical or sexual in nature?

Thank you!

 

[Fadeaway]

Welcome. If you look under the vault, there are some great articles.

Obviously we can't tell you if you have PTSD or not. You need to see a Dr. but I do believe it is possible to have it from prolonged psychological abuse. If you have someone constantly telling you they are going to kill you and how they are going to do it, you are still in fear for your life, whether or not they ever laid hands on you.

 

[open eyes]

careful with reading up on disorders on the internet. It's easy to get stuff stuck in your head, & all of a sudden you're acting out symptoms that you wouldn't have had otherwise. Leave the diagnosing to professionals.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Please seek out professional help in order to get a correct diagnosis and to determine if you have PTSD or not. It could do you more harm than good if you post all of your details and ask for the opinions of those who are unqualified to diagnose. Nobody here is qualified to diagnose a disorder in anyone else, and the diagnostic process is a bit more involved than simply checking off a list of symptoms. Good luck!

 

[silkleaves]

I do have C-PTSD, but it was a combination of physical, sexual, and the type of verbal abuse that Fadeaway mentions. So I could't say one way or another about your experience, and do agree that seeing a professional to properly diagnose you is important.

Also, something Ive noticed, just in all the reading Ive done and seen from people trying to find out if C-/Ptsd is what they have, is the emphasis on the experience, and not so much on the effects of those experiences, which is what PTSD is. Like, two people can be in the exact same environment, one can come out unscathed and the other will develop PTSD from it.

So its really not something where you can say what you went through to see if you have it, but what you have been going through since then as a direct result from it. And its those effects that a professional will be able to evaluate to be able to diagnose you so that you can work on treatment.

 

[Fadeaway]

I think some reading is ok, as long as you are careful. Reading about it helped me because i was experiencing things that I never thought to tell the Dr.s or therapists about, such as my nightmares. They had been a part of my life for so long that despite the distress they caused me, I thought they were normal for everyone and people would think I was silly or a hypochondriac for complaining about them. I also had no words to describe dissociation. I would tell Dr.s that I felt like I was under water, and no one caught on. That was the best I could do though when trying to come up with the words to explain it.

 

[Meadowsweet]

You need a professional to diagnose you. What people refer to as CPTSD is usually a combination of disorders, one of which is PTSD. It's not something that can be done online, and I think it could be more of a hinderance to label yourself, if the label isn't followed up by treatment.

I hear you say that you are in therapy, so perhaps your therapist could recommend a diagnosing doctor?

 

[intothelight]

Welcome! Keep in mind, one of the best things about knowing what is wrong is that it is the first step in knowing what to do to make it better.

 

[BeatenMan]

Welcome, Yes you can get CPTSD (Complex Trauma) from prolonged psychological abuse. That's primarily what mine stems from. People on the forum get really hung up on the proper name and having an official diagnosis but for me it was hugely beneficial to just know that all the crap I was dealing with had a name, my symptoms were normal and I wasn't the only one in the world dealing with it. Knowledge was huge for me and the more I read and researched the more I felt less alone and at some point realized this wasn't a defect in me but an injury due to the circumstances. Gain Knowledge, get stabilized on meds if needed by working with your doctor and search out a good Trauma therapist to start working on the underlying issues. Best of luck to you RedRose, there is a vast amount of info on this forum and it was invaluable to me.

 

[silkleaves]

Hi @BeatenMan I do agree that it definitely is assuring to be able to do research and get a grasp on it that what you're going through is real and that you're not alone in this. But it is not so much a matter of being hung up on what is proper and official, but more on not being hung up on any one specific thing without going to a professional who is actually trained to recognize and see things that we cannot.

A person could have PTSD and another illness along with it, but so hung up on just the one thing they figured out, that they have no idea that there is something else going on with them. PTSD anyway lends itself to exacerbating or even developing other types of mental illnesses on top of it. Sort of like, how having a physical illness can lower ones immune system, causing them to be more susceptible to developing other illnesses. Every aspect of our mental health, those we recognize and those we may not need to be addressed, and a diagnoses from someone trained to see these things is important.

Being able to recognize something is wrong, having an idea what it is and being assured we are not alone is an excellent first step...but it does not stop there. Sometimes a box isnt just a box... there may be other boxes inside that we dont realize are there and trying to cram everything inside and expecting it all to neatly fit can end up doing more harm than good.

 

[RedRose]

Hello everyone! First off, apologies for the late reply - things have been pretty busy at work, also I didn't get an e-mail notification about any reply except the first so had no idea there were so many replies!

Quite a few people have pointed out the dangers of self-diagnosis and I'm more than aware of this. I think it's all too easy to see yourself in many different 'conditions' or 'disorders', which I guess is really the reason I'm asking here. It sort of sounds like it fits me, but I'm pretty hesitant about going and suggesting it to the therapist and being wrong.... sort of like going and suggesting you have any serious problem and finding what you do have actually pales in comparison (e.g. saying you think you have throat cancer when actually it's just a minor cough). And I can tend to feel a lot of shame anyway about many things in general. So I think I'm asking here to see if anyone else would see it as vaguely plausible, or if truly it is just me, in which case I'll rethink it. Also if anyone has any suggestions on opening up a discussion with the therapist about it that would be much appreciated.

Also do just want to say, with regards to researching these things on the internet, while I understand and appreciate the inherent dangers in self-diagnosis, as Fadeaway says, it can also be a great help: I too had no way at all of describing dissociation to doctors until I stumbled across a page on the internet and just knew exactly how to describe the feeling all of a sudden. Up until then 'I feel really groggy' was the best I had had!

So currently where I'm at, is the therapy has been going great but is due to end soon, unfortunately due to financial reasons. The therapist and the doctor both are reluctant to diagnose 'personality disorder' but also don't have much other option in terms of diagnostic label, so are trying to get around that one someway. It feels very clearly to me that the vast majority of my symptoms and problems I've been experiencing are following the prolonged interpersonal trauma. I also want to ask another question about the nature of the trauma (again, I'm aware that people react differently to the same situation, but bear with me) and to see if it would resonate with anyone.... GAD was retrospectively diagnosed from my late teens and the anxiety levels were severe, but casually dismissed and made fun of by family. There was also a hell of a lot of mindf**k going on, and eventually I came to the conclusion that I had lost my mind and grip on sanity (I hadn't, in reality). There was never any physical violence, and only the occasional shouting match, it was largely done through control, manipulation and an awful lot of passive-aggression. I was forced to endure things and events that felt utterly intolerable to me and just about took my stress levels through the roof, and would then be insulted and demeaned if I struggled or dared to complain. After a number of years it resulted in some major mental, emotional and physical collapses, including a long-term physical illness.

I think my question is really, am I going to sound totally ridiculous if I go and suggest this to the therapist? While I do know the 'label' isn't important in many ways, it would give a lot of validation to my experiences and also make it much easier to explain to people close to me if I need to, for them to understand in a clearer way. I'm also rather afraid of being the 'personality disorder' label, having heard how a number of friends who are doctors talk about them as patients.... I dread being dismissed as just 'manipulative, attention-seeking' and the other myriad terms I've heard used, because I just don't think it fits me and being so undermined in that way rather terrifies me!

Thank you everyone for the advice and replies :)

 

[RedRose]

I should also add, just for general information, that I don't experience flashbacks or nightmares - regular bad dreams but only two true nightmares.... although I have experienced a thick and heavy dissociation which was entirely suffocating, but fortunately has been improving over the recent months. This was one of the points I was uncertain about - does anyone know of any cases of someone having c-ptsd without flashbacks at all?