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I feel like I have experienced this, though not full on. It was very confusing and left me feeling very guilty and responsible. "Why didn't I just ask the cop that pulled us over for help?"

I was put on Buspar a few days ago to supplement the Effexor. I am feeling the effects of Effexor but not for the depression (and I have a lower libido). The doc uses Buspar to up the anti depressive effects of Effexor and the libido issues. I have had no side effects that I know of yet. He...

ok some more or maybe a repeat of the ones I said yelling at me telling me to shut up or be quiet the smell of stink bugs or maybe the plants they live around (I think this relates to the alley behind my house) not being listened to being ignored criticism without warning wool military style...

Hi Becky. I too suffered a long and multi-trauma childhood. Survival is just that, you are here today to tell us about it. You survived. Welcome to the forum.

the first time, at 21 or 22. I thought it went away. The second time? between 37 and 38 (not long ago). I guess it didn't go away after all.

I'm an other because when I am triggered, part of the triggering for me is feeling distant and unloved/liked. So, I NEED to be touched/held but I won't for the life of me seek it. I need it and everything gets worse and escalates until I get it. Odd.

these seem similar to what I experience...fear of rejection/ridicule/dislike/judgment, all this interpersonal stuff that I can't predict or control or even know for sure if it IS happening. Being stared at by people and then them talking and I can't hear speaking. getting glanced at by...

there are so many, I don't even know them, any of them. It seems like they occur constantly. My therapist says when I get scared I need to control so that is my primary defense mechanism, but I guess the triggers (everything that make me scared somehow) have to primarily do with interpersonal...

yes they should, but I won't re-traumatize my adult self so as to give the sick people who traumatized me as a child their just punishment (the legal punishment) they deserve. As an adult though, I continue to run away from those that traumatize me to get away from it instead of also giving to...

I had major issues sleeping for a long time in my late teens/early twenties. I couldn't sleep, would check the doors over and over again, wake up hearing stuff that really wasn't what I imagined it to be, over amplified nothing sounds that now I don't even notice. I had night terrors too, waking...

I just love it when my mother takes all the credit for my success and also privately berates me for being different and acting better (sarcasm). I think forgiveness is a religious sentiment that means nothing to me. I can't forgive a person blatantly hurting others and continuing to do so even...

Much of my childhood is lost and much of my trauma is from my childhood. I do remember a handful of tv shows since that is how I spent most of my time but I can't recall one book I read though I know I spent a LOT of time at the library to get away from home. I have no childhood songs, nursery...

I am often called an angry person, but I don't usually understand why. I would guess this is because the anger comes out at inappropriate times, or is seething and I am unaware of it. I am often told I am angry when I don't FEEL angry but the other person perceives me to be. Perhaps I need to...

Rachel, I feel a lot of the same things for my bf that you do for your husband. I don't recall trusting anyone this much, and because of that fewer episodes occur. Still, they happen. However, it was because of an incident with him and how he treated it and the limits he drew that helped me to...

I do exactly the same thing, I get cold and distant, but also paranoid. I don't believe a word he is saying, and I don't know why. A day before I couldn't have trusted anyone as much as him, and I fully trust him. The next day every single thing he does or says supports my theory of deception...

how about 'why are you angry?' this one is always confusing because I don't feel angry. I guess the answer would be 'because I have been screwed' and 'you are an angry person, you should just let it go' I guess if I could let it go, it would be gone and I'd be only happy smiley like you! (snark)

I'm in Belfair (South of Bremerton) but I get around...

I don't know how you feel about your therapist but this sounds kind of...cold to me. My experience is this with my therapist. She is brand new to me only in the past 4 or 5 weeks. However, I come in and she says 'what would you like to talk about today'. Some days (mostly so far) we talk about...

I need a lot of alone time in general, but when times are really stressful/emotional/hard I tend to isolate myself to extremes and that can be damaging in and of itself. I call it the 'chew my hand off my wrist to get out of the trap' in that it seems I will do what I can to get out of stress...

Rachel, my T seems to be using a combination too. I think it would be hard not to. And on days where there is too much stress in my life outside of therapy, we don't do EMDR but CBT type stuff, though not exclusively so. I do not have what she calls complex or acute PTSD. She is calling mine...

I knit, garden (am a horticulturist...Horticulture is defined as the Art and Science of a Cultivated Landscape), sew, bead, have done pottery, make various things, mix essential oils for massage oils/bath salts/bath scrubs/soaps, write, think. eta: I like paper too, making artist trading cards...

I have read a lot of stories from her book 'Women Who Run With the Wolves'. It is a pretty powerful book, and though it has been a long time since I read it (a decade or more) I can still recall a lot of the stories, which is really unusual for me. I remember at the time gaining a deeper...

I am currently a grad student and found out I have PTSD because I had such a hard time studying and retaining or retrieving the information I needed after reading a book for class at least once if not more and even taking copious notes. Originally I thought it was ADhD without the hyperactivity...

long term trauma survivors. Much of what is out there and what is known is on adult survivors of adult traumas. many people suffered long term childhood traumas and I feel this is often a missing component in research and diagnostic criteria/diagnosis.

Thanks Rachel. That helps. At least there is some talk about prolonged childhood exposure to trauma. I mean, it is well known how trauma in childhood changes the brain chemistry, and yet so much that is discussed or researched is about adults and vets and the like. I've only seen one...