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@Nicolette I don't see at all how you thought I was being dismissive......I didn't mean to sound that way at all. Sadly, after I wrote that, I did not think that it had posted, as I had changed my mind about it. I don't even recall hitting a "Post Reply" button! I honestly don't. I do recall...

Hope it's okay to clarify myself a bit........:) I didn't start this thread for any other reason than for people to share what they personally wished that others understood about them. If you don't have a single thing you'd like others to understand about you, then--and I say this very...

Thanks for sharing.

@desiderata310 , I do, too. I think that's why I've gotten so confused about why people treat me the way they do, at times. I only "see" the inside of me, while they see the outside me. "Outside me" might even seem standoffish or as if I don't need anyone. But inside, I feel vulnerable, needy...

I am so sorry you've been subjected to such degrading messages. No parent should be so cruel as to label a child. Ever. You should have been able to count upon your parent to be your greatest advocate in life, but instead he put you down in such cruel ways. It sounds as if you got mistreated...

Hello, everyone.... I have felt so misunderstood so very often in life. That's why I started this thread, so that I would have a chance to say aloud what is hurtful (to me) about those misunderstandings. Here's what I wish people understood about me. 1. I am an extraordinarily sensitive and...

When you have many more days that you don't want to be here than days that you do.

Let me give you hope.....I was very abused as a child and teen. I've been sexually molested, raped by a stranger, beaten, bullied, ignored, rejected, mistreated, abandoned emotionally, betrayed, hated, and verbally eviscerated by a parent. I never felt loved by either parent. I can't recall a...

I feel very happy and excited that I got to talk to my daughter and hear all about her trip to New York City. I vicariously lived through her as she was telling about trips to Chinatown and Little Italy and the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the 911 Memorial and about seeing a Broadway musical...

@Chava , I know this is just an awful experience. Anything heart-related is scary. I have been to the ER myself when I honestly thought I was having a heart attack and dying, but it turned out to be panic attacks. I went through a terrible period of time when I got them frequently. I finally was...

No, you're not stupid at all. But just to let you know, I often feel stupid myself. Whenever I say, "I'm stupid," I usually think what I'm really feeling is a lot of shame. For what? I don't know.....for being weak.....for getting sick.....for not knowing how to take good care of...

I am so very sorry, hon. I really am. I felt very much the same in my own family and so my heart breaks for you because I very much understand the feelings you're going through. It's tough. It really is. I wish I could just whisk you away and you could come live with me. I'm a kind and loving...

I slept normally.....well, normally for me, anyway.......LOL I hate it, though, when you are awakened while in the middle of a dream. There's something off-putting about it.....like the dream sort of hangs around in your mind all day long. And I don't like it when I have a weird dream, like the...

Dearest @Chava , I'm so sorry you had this experience. Anything medical can just disrupt me emotionally in every possible way. I'd feel wiped out, too. You've been through a lot. I hope you can get some rest.....of course your body is tired. Please keep us posted on how you're feeling, okay...

Hi, @shandemonium .....yes, you've made such an excellent point. It really is important to try to have some of the fun we missed out on. I'm loving that! You've shared some fantastic ideas........I think I'll try some of those. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm sorry you missed out, too. I...

I'm angry that I felt exhausted today, with very little energy. I know it came from nightmare(s) last night and lack of good sleep. But still.............:mad:

It seems that I've been talking to God from my earliest memories. When I was a little girl, God was sometimes my only friend. I pray all day long.....sometimes aloud and sometimes silently. I think God is the only one I think truly understands me and knows every single pain, heartache, abuse I...

I'm grateful that I like to bake. And I'm reallllyyy grateful for the homemade pineapple upside cake that will be coming out of the oven in 40 minutes...........:joyful::joyful:

Was it Alice Miller who wrote about that? I think so. She wrote about how the traumatized and abused child who has at least one adult in his or her life who cares, protects, supports, nurtures, loves, seems to do much better than the child who had no adult. I'm like you. I had no one. I think...

I slept fitfully. I know I had a nightmare but can only recall tiny bits and pieces. I feel really tired today as a result of lack of sleep.

@shimmerz, I know what you mean! What exactly does it feel like to be a real child or a real adolescent and not have to have been "older than your years" out of necessity and survival? I like what @radicalgratitude says in the post about doing some of those things for ourselves now. I hadn't...

You have hit the nail on the head!! Thank you for expressing what I was trying to express. You're 100% correct. I often refer to having grown up in the "house of hell." I'm so sorry you grew up in a similar house. (I won't even call it a "home," because an actual "home," in my opinion, connotes...

@FridayJones , thank you for sharing all of that with me. I agree with you that there is a monumental difference between growing up with love and growing up without it. You definitely stayed busy, that's for sure. I'm so glad you had a sense that you were contributing to the "greater good" of...

I hope that's true!.........

How do I feel today? Sad. I feel sad because I sometimes come out of my normal dissociative state of living, and then I look at my life and realize that it is not the life I dreamed of having......or the life I want, even now. And I'm sad because when I come out of the dissociation, immediately...