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I'm grateful I've got through the day.

Hello everyone and thanks for the kind responses. I'll discuss your replies in a moment bu I'll bring you up to date with my meeting Due to the fact I have dyspraxia any kind of therapy I had didn't work properly and that the option left now is "trauma stabilisation" While I understand and...

Thank you, all of you. I'll look at cognitive distortions. 😍

Ideally to regenerate as Big Ben chimes in the new year. But seriously a sign to show I’m on the right track, I suppose that a start would be to bring the emotional and rational sides of my brain together, I try and be logical in my choices but my nerves are so shot that I can fly off at a...

Ok, I'll break it down. Town: I may win the lottery and leave my home town (for the record I live in a rented property). As regards the rest I may meet someone in another town or even my home town. The former seems more likely as I try to leave my hometown as much as possible. Family...

I'm sitting here tonight feeling rather reflective. For the last 4 years I have been stuck in a loop of anger, sadness and resentment and I am f*cking fed up of it. I have come to realise that many things in life are destined not to happen to me. I know I'll never fall in love, marry or have...

Hmm that's a good question. I've had 3 assessments in the past few months and have a 4th on Friday.

I volunteer for an advice organisation and my role is to reply to emails. I have to read the email, write a draft response, send it to my supervisor for them to give it the green light, send the reply and log it. This bit is subjective. There's either no work to do when I get there or there's...

The coping with trauma group is a potential option for therapy. I work for a charity

To be honest the last week or two have been rocky. It seems no matter what I do is never good enough. I ditched Facebook last month because I realised that no-one gave a damn about me (it's always been the same). My voluntary work is crap I'm profoundly negative about life (as you've probably...

On the waiting list for therapy.

I'm glad you're going to talk to someone this week. Hopefully you'll get unstuck.

Snap.

Thank you. It left me scarred and destroyed my trust in people. I felt so alone at the time. I was fighting 2 battles. Those that could have helped were too ill or too far away. I also lost family via natural causes during that time. But I still don't trust my father. Every time he sees them he...

It's a long story and I'm trying to move on. There was a huge split in the family at the same time that I was struggling to deal with a huge shock of my own.It was about money. Sides were taken. I took my mother's side (and I'm the only one who did) and my father took the other. He sided with...

For what it’s worth my family has imploded and yet one ahole still yearns for them

Thanks. I bumped into someone today who knows what I'm going through and she said I shouldn't bother about other people. Its just that I've been traumatised for so long I despair that I'll never be free.

Thanks. I'll explain a bit about me. in 1994 at the age of 16 I was diagnosed with a genetic muscle wasting disease called Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). There's a ton of information online about it but it was the cause of my disability and everything stemming from that. Or so I thought. In...

Thanks but the old issues still remain.

Cleared the air today. Revealed a few secrets and it went better than expected. Still shaky though.

You’re still here.

The notion of an "alternative identity" is one I'm familiar with and to be honest he isn't a nice person. He is the rage and anger I feel.

Not much to update apart from a nasty moment where I thought another split was in the making. Feel so alone sometimes it physically hurts.

For what it's worth I feel like cutting off some of my kith and kin especially after today!

I try to be social but it's hard. I'm Neurodivergent so my outlook is frazzled. When it comes to work I'm fine because of the officialness but small talk is a nightmare.