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Interesting subject! I grew up in a hippie drug oriented California town as the first generation who's parents did drugs. At the time it was considered good parenting to be open minded and experiemental. As a result I used a good amount of hallucinogenics as a teenager. I experienced enormous...

I am so sorry for your physical and emotional struggles. I have severe auto-immune disease, celiac, auto-immune inner ear, sjogrens, etc. I am losing my teeth and cannot make it to a doctor. My triggers are related to an assault by a doctor, but I really 'get' knowing the logic of medical...

Rather that describing diagnosis, in this instance it is the subtle variance of my body sensations and emotions that best describe the differential experience between panic and ptsd. For me, panic attacks are the feeling of fight or flight, but MUCH more intense. Panic attacks feel like the...

I am still in Mammoth and am in the process of renting my Venice home out for a year, so guess I will remain in Mammoth for a while. It has been a sad realization that I cannot afford to move home. I am in no condition for major decisions so continue to hang onto my house until I am in a better...

Anna and Yoshixvx, you both have amazing awareness and that is remarkable. I think all people have many attributes of various diagnosis, it becomes the D of bpd and ptsd when the attributes are life altering and unmanageable. But your openness to your process is a huge aspect of gaining more...

Take this with a grain of salt since I haven't studied psychology in 20 years and am hardly a beaming example of self awareness.... I consider bpd to be especially notable in excessive adoration, in which the person of focus can do no wrong, followed by intense hatred in which the person of...

My life feels completely futile. No matter what direction I turn, how many hours I work, how much I free things I once treasured, the wind is in my face. On a great day the wind only chaps my lips and dries my throat. On a bad day the wind is a force that blows me backwards and gusts overturn...

That's horrible and I am sorry. Damn intuition is right, thank god for the curse. There is no source that has helped me more in my ptsd, intuition and boundaries than "the Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. He spends a good amount of time on this very subject of safety, the kind you are...

I am a trained therapist although it has never been my career, but it is unethical for any therapist to drop a client without providing a sustainable plan for future treatment. Also there is much lacking in their delivery. I mean who says those things in a "helping" profession? I find people...

Hi there and Yes. I am on Lexapro. I have odd side effects from all ssri's but that's a different subject ;-) Part of the reason my shrink placed me on this medication was for anxiety and ocd, besides for depression. He gave me Klonapin for the first 6 months because he said it takes that long...

This maybe unrelated but since you mention it... I have celiac as well. I literally mourned, had temper tantrums, cried, was hostile towards others, amongst other feelings and outburst for the first solid year. Food, and dealing with food sent me into a state always, although the state...

I have foggy thinking and memory problems. I constantly forget what I am doing and am easily side tracked. I find that Lexapro increases these symptoms for me. I have been on it for 7 years. It causes extremely vivid dreams, like my dream life is more real than real life. I can recall details...

Hi Em C. I have autoimmune inner ear disease and extreme vertigo at times causing me to hit the ground in 'drop attacks'. Sharing the dizzy thing I think we know when we are most likely to seriously fall. I too constantly fear head injury and wear a medical alert pendant. But it has been 2.5...

Thanks that is kind and self reflective. People are repelled by me and I am not sure I feel hurt so much as saddened by my inability to be who I used to be, a social powerhouse an friend to so many. The extreme comparison is earth shattering as I approach people but am ultimately too much. I...

That is my experience exactly. The trauma has hit faster than I could possibly process with my shrink. We have been in emergency mode the entire time, something that doesn't stop. I find it hard to recall the sequence of events that led me here. About a year ago I started a time line so I could...

I had an epiphany of sorts. For 5 years I have been spinning. I spend my days extremely busy and active, alone. But I seem to not only remain static, it seems my life has continued to crumble. Having never worked so hard in my life, I am frequently perplexed by the constant drop, like the bottom...

I completely understand your trauma from illness. I have often wondered who and where I would be if I had faced the assaults well, instead of so very ill. I do know that the illness and my mental functioning are incredibly intertwined. I can only imagine what you must be going through. I am...

That's funny EvenStronerNow. I have noticed how hard this response has been for me to write, it makes me anxious writing about this. That is why it has taken me so many days to respond. But the doctors I need to see are for autoimmune inner ear disease. Its from my immune system attacking my...

I was on zoloft but now am on lexapro. Partially because it helps my ocd. I still have SI but I am much better on lexapro than not. SI is a form of ocd for me, a thought I cannot shake. It is the O of ocd I guess ;-) Anyway, I highly recommend giving some new meds a shot. I would not be alive...

I sleep ridiculous amounts of time. For the first few years of ptsd I slept for DAYS at a time.I do not wake up during the night, well not often, I only recently began having nightmares of being attacked and these cause me to actually physically fight off the attacker, which jolts me awake. But...

I am drowning similarly, but wanted to acknowledge your pain. I am sorry you are suffering.

Of course you are suffering. I cannot imagine what you have seen, all in a days work. You are extremely brave to post and join here and I welcome you. I would think many of your co-workers in law enforcement would also suffer from ptsd, but I also think it might be unpopular to admit. This is...

Oh, dont hesitate to join in! I have no idea what is right or wrong so throw caution to the wind ;-) Thanks for that. I am drowning in shame that I somehow created this, of course a message that is confirmed by what I used to call my friends and family. But sometimes I think, How absurd!? , who...

Thanks for your sweet note when I was supposed to be comforting you! I don't know anything about MS, except that I recently learned it is auto-immune. Ironically there is an uncanny simlarity in our symptoms from what you mention. I haven't been able to see doctors in some time. But my last...

Hi EvenStrongerNow: I completely relate. I too have serious auto-immune disease that effects not only my daily functioning but my moment to moment functioning. I have some similar symptoms, to name just a few: neuropathy, cloudy thinking, forgetfulness, depression, chronic pain and severe...