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Honestly I really think you should try to change your focus from yourself to helping others. You are so "in it" right now. I've been there. As my therapist says sometimes you just need to let go and push the feelings aside or they will rule you. Maybe if you start to focus on others and maybe...
That sounds awful about your spine.. Hope you heal well.
I personally cannot believe you posted about little Laurie asking for warm milk. That's quite a.. Step.. I hope you are seeking help... Can't imagine a grown man feeling like a tiny boy under a bed..
I have regressed in past also but...
Actually I have been feeling this way also. My therapist watches me cry or disassociate and gives me time but no comfort. He says things like well I think you are doing the right things in life but he doesn't say wow that must be hard ik it hurts when you wanna destroy things or have to look at...