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I've just starting coming to this realization recently. I actually told her, "this is not about me. I'm safe. It's about u and what's going on in ur head. Go see a therapist bc it's hard having a kid like this." She had no response. It's funny/sad that u mention it's been 7 years now for you...

Update: my mom called my T a SECOND time, 3 days later. She left a VM saying that she knows she's not supposed to talk to T but she can't reach me so can T please call me and ask me to call my mom. I know, confusing. That's Mother for you. My T has explained it as an extinction burst...

Glad u said that bc I wavered between saying anxiety instead

Even though I agreed with her, ur right

Haha, ur right :) it was just my bad luck that a cop was right behind me... Thanks :)

You're 100% right. The taking aloud is a good idea. I will try it. Thanks Also, my OP had a typo. Was supposed to say "I LIVE (not love) in my car..."

Right. But I don't live in an area where a person needs a car to get around

Are u my T? JK Yes, my T is very much into mindfulness and I've been working hard on it. When I mentioned the accident to her, that's exactly what she said... To practice mindfulness while driving :) although I find it hard bc I'm so used to driving "mindlessly"

I know. And ur right. I'm not angry at the post... I was just in an extremely sensitive place at the time

Thank you. I'm sorry for ur husbands heart attack :( I live on my own, have no one to run errands for me. My one sibling who lives in the same state as me is sick and I wouldn't ask for help. But this is what I wanted. Independence. Guess I get the good with the bad. But yes, this is something...

Thanks for all the advice. This is just all too much to handle. @Lucycat , what if I had hit a toddler?? Really?!? Why do u think I'm always scared of my driving?!? It's bc I may hit someone... I don't care about myself or my stupid car. I'm my own harshest critic, please don't. I've been...

Ok! Will do. Thank you

Yes

So I was driving on a quiet street and took my hands off the steering wheel for a second to light a cigarette. My car veers so it veered to the right and bumped the curb. Scared me for a second but all was fine. No panic attack. 2 seconds later... Flashing lights behind me. One of my biggest...

Perfect language! I'm going to copy & paste that! Seriously, I can't thank you enough for taking the time out to do this for me! Now I just have to decide whether to text it to her or call... Hmmm

Thank u all so very much! I was starting to fall back into the feeling guilty seesaw i've had with her my whole life and needing to take care of her and feeling bad that she's so worried, yada yada. The idea of a burner phone is a bit too extreme for me... I do want to have some sort of...

I wish I could triple like this!!!

Just a bit of history: I was extremely clingy to my mother from birth till about 12/13. By 18, I couldn't get away from her house as much as possible. In fact, I now live in a totally different state from her... NOT driveable. She's not evil. But she is extremely unhealthy (mentally), doesn't...

Thank you. Patience is nit something I do well

Thank you. I know ur right, even though I hate this "process". Thanks for the hope

Nooo! I don't want to find out I hurt a child! Better of two evils... Would rather find out something happened to me. But yes, I do want the truth... No matter what :(

I want to work on my dreams but my T wants to work on foundational work first

Been watching/listening to a lot of suicide songs, thoughts consume me. Trying to cut ties with family: not calling them, etc. Triggered by the following: (hope this doesn't upset pple) I've been having recurring child molestation dreams since around 8... Always thought I was a horrible person...

thank you. I feel so alone :(

No, I will not disregard! Thank you so much! All good ideas. actually had the urge to draw just don't have the head to so it now. But now I have something to look forward to so thank you!