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Your explanation is perfect. Exactly how I feel with needing to feel that safety & comfort but at the same time the whole mistrust, hypervigilance, anger, fear/shame combination. So confusing at times.

I email my T very often right after sessions. Sometimes right after. Sometimes the next day. Sometimes we email 2-3 times a week or more. She always responds in a reassuring way & never makes me feel like I’m needy at all. When you live your life believing that your needs are unimportant I think...

Maybe I should just work on taking a little at a time @Lamename01234 , instead of thinking I have to sit there & talk about painful stuff the entire hour. I think the pressure of knowing I only have an hour to get it all out makes me anxious sometimes too. We have actually done better outside...

That’s terrible @MisterCatLady , I feel like we just can’t help it. I’m glad you found another one who is being patient with you.

I will say that the support you receive isn’t always what you hope. I’ve lost my entire family over the truth. Yes, I feel a little bit lighter now that the truth is out & I don’t have to carry it anymore...I no longer have to fake a smile & pretend everything is a-okay at family...

Good tips @deeplyloved ! I email a LOT. Usually during the times that thoughts & feelings just come pouring out. She is very responsive to email but she really wants me to find my voice & be able to just TALK to her the way I am able to write about things. I understand the feeling of being...

I have some really good writing skills @shimmerz ! :) I haven’t tried writing during sessions though

I have a very close relationship with someone who counseled me after leaving a very abusive marriage. I’ve known her for over 11 years & it’s probably one of the healthiest relationships I’ve ever known. We no longer live near each other but we sometimes talk on the phone for hours & text each...

@watundah , sometimes I think it would be easier if she was closer like beside me or something, so I wouldn’t have to say things as loud. I trust her. It’s certainly frustrating on both ends & it kills me to see her getting upset & frustrated. She assured me that the frustration is not with ME &...

That sounds exactly like me @watundah. Very short answers that I manage to squeak out & I honestly can’t THINK of anything to say. My T lost her patience a little bit last time. :(

@MyWillow i did google! I found some really interesting articles! The left frontal cortex shuts down (particularly Broca’s area) & that explains why I have trouble thinking & talking!! That’s kind of a relief to see some science behind it.

Thank you @Multitudes ! I really like that perspective. :)

Thank you @MyWillow !! The nurse in me also loves to understand the why’s of things. :) I must google now!

Lol I knew you meant well. :) Friday I picture you being very vocal for some reason. :singing: You’re always so friendly & funny on here. Of course l guess I’m friendly & funny too everywhere else in my life...just not on the big couch. lol

It’s funny that you mention vulnerability @TexCat , my T has sent me Brene Brown’s ted talks on vulnerability. She makes it sound so simple, yet it can be so hard for those of us who were once TOO vulnerable. I completely understand & im so glad to hear that I’m not the only one. I have a guard...

I’ve only been at this for a year @NightSky ...total. I’m 37 & just facing a LOT of abuse for the first time. I touched on it briefly about 11 years ago when I was going through a bad divorce, but I know i couldn’t have handled it then. I know this process takes time. I just get so impatient...

I’ve just recently been able to cry @NightSky With the help of Yoga & learning how to connect with myself in a new way...& that’s kind of big for me because I’ve never really shared tears with people unless it has to do with THEIR pain...not mine. I have had a hard time in the past being able to...

Thank you @BookerNoe ...it is very helpful to know that I’m not alone. I think being understanding with yourself about having a hard time & knowing that you aren’t just bat sh*# crazy or the only one to have ever experienced this is helpful also. Even when I am able to speak, it doesn’t even...

Not very encouraging @Rumors ! Haha! It is SO hard! :( I’m sending you good thoughts as well. It’s so crazy how our brains work.

I know I’ve read multiple posts about people having difficulty opening up & speaking during therapy sessions. For whatever reason, I have a terrible time being able to just talk when I go to therapy. I don’t even understand it. I can talk with ease anywhere else....I can even talk to my T with...

Me too @mrsmegan ...finding my voice, because when I go to therapy it’s just....GONE. It’s so frustrating for both of us.

The acting out I can relate to too. I’ve never really been in trouble my whole life until recently. Can’t seem to make good decisions now.

I’m asking myself the same question. You’re not alone. It doesn’t matter how strong you seem & how well you get through it, eventually it catches up with you & you have to deal with it. I’m still a pretty positive person on the outside. I still make people smile. But on the inside it feels like...

Thank you all so much. I cried reading each one of your responses. It always helps to know you’re not alone when it can feel so lonely at times. Tough therapy session today. She got so frustrated with me for not being able to talk & even talked about referring me to someone else. We talked &...

I’ve never really thought about suicide before. I mean, I guess I have but it was just fleeting thoughts. Right this very second I want nothing more than to just disappear from this world. I’m in a mess that I’ve caused myself and I feel like such a failure. I feel like I’m ruining my son’s...