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Your therapist needs to know. Just because you threw it all out at once doesn't mean you need to deal with it with your therapist all at once. Is it possible that you can go over it with your therapist piece by piece? That way you don't get as overwhelmed. As a victim of sexual abuse I want...

My first therapy for PTSD was a train wreck. It pulled out a really disastrous episode from my childhood, then left me alone to deal with it. I felt eviscerated. That made it difficult to trust therapy for the next 20 years. My current therapist thought at first that she could go right to...

I'm so sorry to hear that. The hospital you went to must have been a nightmare.

I was in a military hospital for about 60 days when I was 26 years old. There was more to deal with than what those 60 days could hold, but it gave me a starting place. The staff was caring, attentive and dedicated to the mental health of their patients. I know that this hospital had great...

When my first therapist asked me how I saw myself I told him it was like watching my life on television. When I was a kid I used to just disappear. Now I am pretty good at avoiding shutting down. However, I have to avoid a lot of normal feelings, even admitting they exist. I'm so sensitive...

I have only had one therapist within an insurance network, and he was way to dismissive of my experience. I have mostly found therapists through word of mouth. I found my current therapist through a county program. Try an intern in a program. They don't have the experience, but they can be...

Alcoholic parents make everything hard, even years later. Welcome to the forum!

I check in emotionally every chance I get. I have to use the words, like angry, afraid, disgusted, happy, etc, and really let myself feel. Otherwise they sneak up and ambush me when I least expect it.

I’ve been married twice. Both spouses had serious issue. The link was me. I saw who both were early on and went that direction anyway. There were some pretty big clues. For another long term relationship there were also clues that our relationship wasn’t high on her priority list. I ignored...

My mother was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. It left her at times really cold, and at others really sad. She had many confusing feelings, and that confusion rubbed off on me. I have often wondered where all the people who feel like you are. They mostly hid, I suppose. Having the forum...

My cousin gives me unhelpful advise about everything, not just PTSD type issues. I got short with my son last week for telling me how to work my smart phone. Do these people think I'm incompetent? I don't think so. It's just their way of feeling important. They want to matter. As far as my...

Since I was a child I compartmentalized the trauma. It works pretty good, at least until something triggers me. Having my house broken in to would be a huge trigger. My therapist says if the fear lasts longer than 90 seconds then it's an injury. The break-in doesn't need to harm you or your...

Pumpkins are gourds, right? And I really don't care either.

If I talk to my therapist about politics or any other controversial subject I keep focused on what helps my therapy proceed. At the same time I've had therapists make statements like "why do you always feel the need to be right." I usually sidestep such silliness. I had one therapist push an...

Some feelings make us move toward something and others make us retreat. For example fear makes you retreat and happiness moves you toward something. If you are moving toward or away you have feelings. You just don't recognize them. My therapist kept asking me week after week what I felt and...

I'm not a combat vet but I do know the thousand yard stare. I got it from childhood abuse (domestic combat). I remember staring through a girlfriend in high school, and her being totally weirded out. I'm like that most of the time. It's really bad when I'm triggered and in a flashback. So...

I was the whack-a-mole.

Last year my therapist told me we can't deal with my past until I get a handle on my anxiety. Other therapists have told me the same thing but I ignored them. I was sure I had to get to the root to kill to prune the branches. However, I did what this therapist said and she turned out to be...

I've been on an upswing over the last 5 months doing EMDR and working overtime. Then this last weekend my 18 year old daughter quit school and moved out, my boss set me up for failure, and I've had to stop binging on ice cream. Like others with cptsd there's a lot of junk deeper inside that...

Sounds much like my story. Thanks for posting. I don't feel so unique. I wish you the best of luck with all you are going through.

Every time I read a post like this I want to say something sunny to cheer up the person posting. That's because I want to cheer myself up. I've been fighting PTSD a long time too. After a while you just get exhausted. I thought it was a bad thing so I ignored it and acted like I have all the...

Forgotten memories still have an impact. My life has been run by what I have forgotten, or tried to forget. Don't be too hard on yourself about wanting to stay loyal to your parents, or about having true or new feelings about them. When new memories come up new feelings will follow, and old...

I process accounts at work. I process the dishes when I run them through the dishwasher. I don't think I process the trauma. I think I go through a healing process. I process what's inside me, but it's more than the memories, emotions, or behaviors that surround the trauma within me. I was...

Thanks for bringing this up @Smile. My dissociation is self protective. I dissociate to avoid flashbacks. It works well, usually, but steals away my time. I remember what I do when I dissociate. I also remember the lack of choices when I dissociate. I do, after all, need to avoid doing or...

For some people, driving you over the edge is how they get their power.