Search results

I wasn't going to, but then I had a bit of a breakdown and had to have a mental health day. I wasn't going to bother telling them why, and I just told my boss I had a cold. But someone who I had mentioned the attack to in passing asked if I was ok, so I told her, and she marched me in to tell my...

Aww, you're so sweet. I sort of know they won't be glad, but a small part of me can't help but think about it.

Still feeling low and anxious, but I spent the weekend being productive and using a lightbox, which has helped things a little. I still feel kind of passively suicidal though. Like, if I got hit by a bus and died, it wouldn't be the worst thing. And would anybody really miss me? I know my...

It was weird to learn that there was a difference, and I'm still struggling with it a bit. The London Bridge attack last week for instance, was that a trigger or a stressor? It reminded me of Westminster, but it was also a stressor because I feel like everybody finds terror attacks upsetting and...

I am fine in the dark. But being in a moving vehicle is a massive trigger for me, as are bridges, sirens, helicopters, loud bangs. Basically any noise associated with the terror attack/my car accident. And anybody who talks about attacks or death. Especially those who do it in an offhand way, eg...

I can tell I'm getting depressed and anxious again as I am really berating myself for even small failings. I asked for help with something today and basically got an email back saying, "why do you need help?" and now I feel useless and I know it will stop me from sleeping tonight and I will...

Last therapy session was helpful, and he's given me some techniques to take with me to prevent panic attacks etc. I definitely feel like I could have used more sessions. I made progress, but I feel like this is an ongoing problem. One of my colleagues was talking about how we can go about...

Humour is a really good shout. When I was having anxiety attacks every time I got on public transport, I listened to comedy podcasts to take my mind off where I was. I found it better than music, because with music you get more lost in your thoughts, “Will this be the last song I ever listen to...

Currently sat in the waiting room before my last therapy session. I don’t know how I feel about waiting until January even for an assessment. Who knows how long the wait will be after that. With Friday’s attack bringing everything back when I was struggling anyway, I think it’s going to prove a...

Thank you so much @Freida - I decided to take today off work, I just couldn’t face it today. And I have a cold anyway, so it’s a fair excuse. I have my last therapy session tonight, and I just heard from the mental health team that the earliest appointment they have, even for a telephone...

Ok. So I'm having another panic at work. The nosy person who kept asking questions was talking about the attack again today. And talking about whether our workplace was a target (I work at a leading visitor attraction). And she was talking about how they could go about attacking us. And how they...

Thanks @Freida I realise I am overthinking (it's what I do best ?). When I was on my walk on Friday I felt like everyone in the office would be talking about me, and calling me a wimp for not being over Westminster. I know it's not true, but I can't help but have that nagging feeling. I think...

For me it depends what the trigger is. For example, fireworks sometimes trigger me if I'm already feeling anxious or low. But other times I'll go to whole firework displays and feel fine. But there are also certain triggers - items in the news, police sirens, conversations etc that trigger me...

Hi all, I know avoidance isn't a healthy tactic. But there are sometimes when a trigger is going to be too much. For example, at work on Friday everyone was talking about the London Bridge attack, and it took word spreading about my PTSD around the office for people to stop talking about it...

This weekend has been really hard. On Friday I'd had a lovely morning, and I'd finally made a breakthrough with my therapy, I'd been to see my GP and she's trying to refer me for EMDR, and I was feeling relatively positive for the first time in ages. Then I heard about London Bridge, and it...

I went to see my doctor today. They have put me on anti-depressants. I have tried to avoid being on medication as I am already on two different anti-epileptic medications and I don't want to have to be on even more. But they said it would likely be a long wait for therapy, and I might not even...

This is what happened to me a few weeks ago, my therapist taught me a pretty good technique, which was to look around whatever room you are in and try to notice one thing about the room that you had never noticed before. This can bring you back to the present, and then to cope with the panic...

Actually had a really productive therapy session yesterday, even though I was dreading it. He said the fact I had been feeling low, and having a higher level of anxiety than normal is because I was actually starting to allow myself to have feelings about the trauma, rather than putting it in a...

Currently absolutely exhausted. Everything feels heavy. I had a nice day yesterday and didn't want to ruin it by telling my mum how much I've been struggling. I also had a nice weekend spending time with friends, and whilst I am aware that these are positive things, they have very much exhausted...

I am really struggling to find an EMDR specialist in my area. Even in London, the only ones available seem to be private practices and would mean taking several hours out of work to get there, which is extremely frustrating. I'm going to speak to my GP tomorrow, but I'm not sure she will be much...

That's really interesting to know. Because not watching movies about wars or bombs seems to make sense, but I always felt quite odd not being able to watch a lighthearted family comedy.

This week has been an anxious one. I'm not sure if it's the PTSD that's been bothering me, the seasonal affective disorder, or the fact that I can't seem to get EMDR anywhere. I went to the cinema last night, which cheered me up a bit. The fact I am making plans and socialising I think is a...

Thank you so much for the links @Justmehere - I didn’t realise so many people thought the same as me. And I didn’t realise there was a name for it. The fear of not instantly dying and ending permanently disabled and becoming even more of a burden on my family is a large part of what is...

It's weird with me, as I switch between being extremely over cautious and avoiding things because I feel like everything has the potential to kill me. And then not caring if I died. Like, I'm so terrified that I might get hit by a car or die in a crash because that happens to people every day...

Ok. So I'll start by saying I don't think I'm suicidal. I know I would never go through with it. I couldn't put my family and friends through that. I wouldn't want my family and friends to go through the pain and guilt of me committing suicide, because I've known people who have done it, and...