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Thank you. I'm learning more and more. It helps that my best friend is an Army wife out here. She repeats many of the same things.

So yea, we discussed his isolation coping mechanism 6 months ago. I used kind words only. I let him know his coping mechanism was perfectly allowable. We would have check-ins about every 4-5 days when he was like that. This time is different. No check in what so ever. He's working overtime...

That's what my therapist said exactly.

Nothing still. I think I've officially been dumped without any word.

Yep. It's a big one. The last time we had to deal with one it was his father's death anniversary. I believe this one to be as big. I have been nothing but kind to him and will continue to be. It still hurts a lot and is even HARDER to explain to folks who haven't served. Suck that it's my...

And thank you for caring enough to talk to me about this @Sweetpea76

Yes, I'm emotional. I'm trying to decide if he's trying to send me the message if we are over. It's hard to tell when he won't talk to me. We had no fight or cross words.

But this is tricky. This week is the 1 year anniversary of him losing his job and filing for divorce after his wife called the cops on him. Part of me wants to back off and wait, the other part of me wants to cry and demand respect for the boundary we had agreed to. Maybe I just need to get...

Nothing from him yesterday. I see him logging in to social media, but I have not bothered him there. I know a bad anniversary is coming up. I just wish he would have let me know if he didn't want to be together any more. Is that so wrong to want? I am going to spend my day reading up on...

First of all for me, I went running...it's just dang hard when you're depressed and it's HOT AF here. I realized I'm dehydrated from living on nothing but tea and crackers for the past few days. In my email I said I was worried because he hadn't talked to me and it was day 5. I sent him a...

Would it be inappropriate to have one of our mutual friends check on him?

No today is the start of day 5

What scares me is what do I do if I don't? Just stop talking to him?

Thank you @Sweetpea76 Our limit of 4 days was set when he was seriously ill and living at home alone, literally in and out of the hospital with a few things that could have killed him PLUS the PTSD. I picked that limit because he would get serious re-ocurring infections and would have to be...

I love all those ideas. I did go get my nails done. Today is going to be boundary enforcing day with Captain L. I hate these days. We have had an agreement for over 6 months that if he doesn't talk to me for 4 days we have talk about what's going on...probably his stress cup, but I think...

Those are both excellent ideas @Sweetpea76 and @Never_falter. I did try to break some of the forced isolation by running errands. At least to get some sunlight.

I can get away next week. I am on-call for this week so I have to be available 12 hours a day ? The money is good...but times like this it is hard.

Having a rough day....I didn't see any thread for this so I thought I'd start one. It seems a lot of my coping mechanisms are broken right now. I had a lot of personal turmoil in my life the past month, not related to my boyfriend with PTSD, but he's had a lot going on, too, and has not been...

Beautifully put. It's been hard for me to say these things myself. It takes some time and self-focus for sure. Thanks for helping me see for myself.

My vet waited about 8 months before even vaguely mentioning any details. Not sure what is normal, but that is what happened with me. I knew he was in the infantry in many conflicts, but not the actual details of what went on until much later. Even now he has not scratched the surface. Just...

Update on this. Our communication has improved. We're talking via text and phone a few times a day now. He is actually loving his job, so part of him not stopping to communicate was actually just him head-down working hard. I'm happy he's got something going that he feels important doing...

So @Friday's idea was a great one. We talked this morning and he told me about all the hours and miles he'd been on. I have learned to sense the same frustration and not further inundate him when he's on overflow. He also thanked me for the support and encouragement and mentioned, like...

I would assume this as well. I just wanted him to talk to me about it and let me know how it was. I guess he's not ready. I will use @Friday's approach to thank him for taking time to get back to me while he was super busy. I have always used the "Rock Star" analogy to build him up. So I...

That sounds like a magic trick @Friday and is definitely worth a try.

I told him I'd give him space to prioritize and align everything. I feel really bad about what I did. Maybe I did it for the right reason, but the wrong way.