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It doesn't bother me. There's no negative intent in it at all.

I have a mild form of this. For instance, if someone verbally spells a word or name, I'm lost. Whenever a radio DJ gives a weather snippet, I'm lost. He's talking about breezy, cool, blah-blah-blah, and I can't keep track. And although I can speak and read Spanish pretty well, I am terrible at...

I asked my doctor to ramp me up to 60mg daily, and he did (he's great that way :)). I've been at 60mg for almost 6 weeks, and it's made no discernable difference. On the bright side, still no side-effects LOL.

Of course this can be wrong, but I assume the following: as a child you were forced, probably by your parents, to be polite to certain people who ended up not deserving it at all. Your parents effectively tied your hands, leaving you as a sort of sitting duck to people who treated you poorly...

Nope. No therapist. Therapy never works for me. Have read a lot, but it doesn't convert into self-help. On two meds. Getting better overall. But the sex thoughts always come up eventually.

I know exactly the type of relationship you mean! I've often thought of how great that would be. There were different nuances that would cross my mind about how I'd like it to play out, but they all came back to having a woman who was in control. Sometimes it was pretty vanilla, but usually my...

Thank you very much for your reply, Mach. Having a group like this, and especially people like you who understand and can empathize in a such a sincere way, is very helpful. I appreciate it very much. Other than this group, I have my mother as a sort of support system, which is funny considering...

I've tried, but I don't really get anywhere with it. I let myself relive non-sexual trauma and try to work through it, but re-imagining is something that hasn't really worked.

I think it's healthy, when the subject matter is healthy. I think it compounds the problem when the fantasies are odd and often disturbing. As far as it being avoidance, for me it kills a normal aspect of my being. Even the way my body and private parts react to masturbation is wholly different...

I used to be able to gravitate them in a positive direction, but I've lost that ability. In the last few years my fantasies have become more and more peculiar, but in doing so, they've helped me make breakthroughs. I wasn't trying to do it, but when I'd concentrate on the fantasies, they brought...

Every couple of weeks it hits me. Unfortunately I have no healthy outlet to express my desires. This makes my desires stronger, and with still no outlet, the desires become odder and more negative. There are ways I could indulge, but I'm too inhibited to even pursue them. So I'm left in this...

I started 5mg 3x daily just yesterday. Took 5 doses so far and not feeling any side effects, which is great. Not feeling anything good either, but from what I read that can take a minimum of two weeks, maybe much longer. Anyone have any experience with it?

That's me. If I have something else I want to accomplish, I need to get everything else taken care of in order to feel like I can concentrate on it. So I become OCD about emails, dishes, laundry, etc. Strangely there are times when something is weighing on me so much that it's the total...

Have you explored BDSM? It can be very therapeutic, and there need not be a sexual component.

Oh yeah. I've tried a lot of things. But my perspective is constantly changing, with or without trying to get better. My automatic coping mechanism is basically a form of DID. Adding variables like therapy, exercise, diet, affirmations, etc. just seem to change my view point but never seem to...

There would definitely have been value, if I went soon enough afterwards. But I have not had much luck with therapy, and even though I liked my last therapist, when it came right down to it, I didn't get much out of it. Of course, now is different, being that I had this intense experience, and I...

I agree. Therapy afterwards would definitely make sense. I would've done so, but I gave up on therapy a few years ago. Full-spectrum has a certain amount of THC, but it is so miniscule that I didn't think it would have much of an effect. However I have found reference to cannabis-tripping...

Read my post from 12/23. If it's full spectrum, and you take a large enough dose, you can trip on it.

This product is legal in my state, and there are no restrictions on it. It's CBD oil (1000mg full-spectrum tincture). I had tried taking it for slight anxiety, but it didn't seem to do anything. So I eventually took a megadose, and well, it went like this: Sitting in the easy chair, I started...

I should be grateful every day for a lot of things, but I'm not. I don't feel bad about that very often either. At least I'm aware of my ungratefulness, which I guess is better than nothing.

Wow, name calling. How cultured. Good for you.

Can you not discern when someone is talking tongue-in-cheek? You're a moderator? For real? smh

Of course the chances are rare that I'd get killed. But compare those chances to ten, or even five, years ago. Why take the chance. If I want to visit a typical German town, I'll just go to Istanbul.

No. I don't want to get killed.

^^ If you can't see it, then telling you isn't going to do any good. Live with eyes closed and pretend everything will work out ok. It won't.