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Is it possible to keep a journal? Is it possible to let your T read it? I'm not sure if this would help or not, but maybe? Or sending an email from you without the alter getting involved? I'm sorry if this seems dumb, I'm not completely sure how you're experiencing this. But I'm listening!

I agree with you completely. I also think that your T only knows you in as far as you view yourself, too a certain degree. I mean, don't get me wrong, they can see some things, but not everything. They're limited to what you're saying and what they're observing one to two hours a week. I wish...

Yeah, I understand.... ......and it totally sucks for all involved.

I, too, would like to, but know I can't right now. There's a lot of things I used to be able to watch and maybe again in the future, but way too many doors to my soft spots are unlocked right now. I'm WAY to sensitive to things to be able to go there. I would love to, but even things I've...

I just had to have a MAJOR boundary setting session with my daughter today. She lives with me with her daughter and is doing a lot of stuff I don't agree with. So basically I told her that even though she's an adult, she lives in my home, so my boundaries amounted to something close to the...

You're very welcome! I know this shift in my own thinking has helped our communication. I'm a let's duke it out "fight" reaction kind of person with my PTSD, but he's a uh...no - I'm going to isolate into my hidey hole and lets never be confrontational "flight" type of reaction to his PTSD. I...

I think on my supporter side, I've been here once or twice too. The only reason being is that things would get "tabled" but then infinitely ignored. It became an idea that the time out wasn't a time out, but a way to ignore and permanently deflect until it became a problem again. Does this ever...

Thank you for this post, it was enlightening!

Just as an update, ever since our talk and boundary setting, there has been an uptick in response from him. I'm going to continue to do my best to live in the moment and make sure our friendship stays in tact. We've been best friends since day one, and I'm not giving that up too! I have no idea...

This thread is super helpful. This buzzes through my head almost constantly sometimes. Then when I can keep myself "functioning" and occupied and succeeding at getting things done, I can squash it down. This is what I often refer to on here as my self-hate speak. I don't have much to add since...

Thank you for your kind response. The surgery went well, although I really had to calm myself down a couple of times because I started to panic. So I worked on some grounding exercises during the procedure. I won't have results until next week, but that's the easy part at this point. He was...

Wow...maybe the simple stuff is somewhat the answer and the foundation. How funny that even the idea of discovering those things didn't even dawn on me! Even acknowledging these feels profound to me!

I wish I had an answer for you, because quite frankly I have been asking myself the same questions lately. I'm feeling a bit stuck, even, looking for the answers. I, too, find 7 to be when I really understood that trauma (suffering) was part of who I am. I felt suffering was necessary for...

Thank you for the hugs! I'm, of course, still spinning a little over not "knowing" anything for sure, but that's on me...and not new by a long shot. Things seemed pretty easy between us today. My only problem is the leaning back part right now...lol. I have so much to learn...I just don't...

Interesting! I too have experienced CSA and cysts. Thanks for posting. I generally turn to dissociation, but I have zero issue firing my doctors. If we don't "gel" I'm on to finding someone else. I won't be dismissed or talked down to by a doctor. My doctor now is really patient and listens...

Thank you! I think it was a good thing. It opened another opportunity for me to cut the cords a little so to speak. I hope and believe it also will let him see I'm not only willing, but prefer to live for today. I have no idea what will happen as we're both working on our own healing, but I...

Oh yeah... and he said that he had been feeling like he was pulled into things he didn't want to do, so now he has problems figuring out what to say yes to and what to say no to. He said he's confused and is trying to figure it all out.

The VERY first thing I want to say is thank you to all of you! You are all definitely "my people"! Honestly, I used this as another learning lesson. I'm so blessed that you guys really made me feel so supported even before I "jumped into" something I may regret later. I feel so selfish...

Exactly. He has problems with ED, so it's possible that they aren't having intercourse, but it still hurts.

His son told me they've been over the a few times in the last couple of weeks, that they facetime on and off, and they talk on the phone most nights. He's not the kind to spend that kind of time on other people. I have no proof...but it seems likely.

Thank you! I'm sitting here with his son in my living room watching a movie trying to figure out what to do. I don't know how to deal with this right now. I mean, am I just a back up plan now after 9 years?

So, it sounds like part of the puzzle is because it sounds like he's become a little more than "friends" with the babysitter. He says he's not dating her and his son said they're not dating, just friends. But I wasn't born yesterday. We're not together any more, so he's free to do whatever he...

@grimalkin , I'm glad to see you're having fun with your self care! Only here would this be really a normal and accepted conversation! Pft, whatever works, right?! I know a few of us are in the same boat here, and it makes sense! I think it's definitely a plus with us in this group. It's a...

@Mytime, we really do think alike! I feel so much good energy from you, so connected! I feel that way with several others too. I wish we could all be able to live this way IRL. It's beyond difficult to find people that understand. Then they wonder why "I'm" withdrawing... no one stops to think...

I haven't, but thanks for the thread. I just wanted to acknowledge you.