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I have to agree. You have said absolutely nothing positive about him. But he is also somebody that is dealing with someone with a disorder who admits they treat their husband poorly. Yet that same person expects him to be receptive to giving them emotional closeness. I don't think that is fair.

@Sideways I don't know about you but for me being forced to cook for others as a kid, then going through what you did ( or many of us did for that matter) and being forced to do things we didn't want to do I don't think I would want to cook either. Does that make sense? Can you fix foods you...

Did you not know he had ADHD when you all got married? I haven't read everything so you may have said.

^ yes. This.

Could it be he feels like you're spending the time bashing him? I felt like that's what my husband would do when he went to therapy instead of working on himself. I don't consider that narcissistic but I do consider that defensive.

Gotcha, thank you

Court rules VA must pay veterans' ER bills at non-VA hospitals This is great

Every other day I do weight training then an hour on an amt machine. I don't know how I keep functioning lol it was 99 degrees today at work lol I just ate some cookies and we'll see how I feel after that. I have a danged headache. Blah.

What about those of us that are exercising in one way or another all the time? I walk all day at work. I do 7-8 miles there then go to the gym directly after. Until the past two weeks I would normally go for a walk with my husband after that but I haven't had the energy lately. I don't know why...

I wish you luck.

If that makes you feel better why not but make sure you realize that doesn't necessarily make it accurate. You can have tendencies or traits without the actual disorder.

O Without a diagnosis from a professional, you can't in good faith say someone is truly a narcissist/ sociopath any more than I can say that somebody coughing has pneumonia. I don't have the expertise and neither do you. I think that's what people are trying to say.

I jumped the other day from people passing me on a trail....( went so far as to yell Jesus!) From the front. Good Lord lol

As hard as it is to believe it's not your fault. I'm glad you're safe.

Was she diagnosed with bpd or are you guessing that?

What I have started doing is like you what hubby can't/ won't help with I pay for. If hubby doesn't like it, oh well. He'll get over it.

Maybe instead of working on him and his stuff maybe work on your perfectionism. Once that's under control deal with the couple issues . I've read somewhere that anxiety can cause that sometimes. The last thing you want if you do leave him is to have that bleed over onto your child. Just...

Is he slowing down because of that or is he afraid of what you might say? I'm not criticizing you I'm just wanting you to think about it. I don't know your situation.

What if that was your child. Would you expect your child to function better being treated the way you say you treat your husband?

Now all of that said....my brother is severely adhd. He is also a psychiatric nurse practitioner. He was an ER nurse. To say your husband isn't capable of being a bread winner isnt necessarily true. With the right meds and treatment he could do fine.

It sounds to me like you have your mind made up. He needs to know that. It's not fair to him to make him think there is a chance where there isn't. It sounds to me like you need to sit down with him and let him know that you don't plan to stay with him and why. Let him know you are prepping for...

What would you tell a client in your situation?

You're welcome

Let her get stabilized. She may talk to you after that. She needs time to be treated.

Yes. You should.