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This morning was another bad morning. Told him I thought about how I was thinking about how I loved him last night and he said I sounded like a stalker and that it was creepy and weird. Is that creepy and weird? Then he said I needed more friends ( to take the pressure off him) and got all...

It isn't waiting the few months Friday- I've done that a ton of times before. It's like this every time he's deployed. It's the fact that in addition to me being angry over his behavior, nasty comments, isolation he seems to fly off the handle constantly, nearly every day he is upset or angry...

I think the thing that is driving me crazy is that I can't fully communicate with him. Normally I'd say " x and Y is bugging me." Then we'd fix it. But because of his stress talking about it causes more problems than it's worth. I'm left feeling angry and resentful because I can't be open with...

Yes- we're long distance for the next year or so. He lives alone in the house that is being remodeled. What needs of mine aren't being met? Well, I guess I can't talk to him about what is wrong- at all. And we aren't spending much time- which is so important in keeping a long distance...

Hi everyone! Posting here because I'm frustrated and at my wits end. Those of you who have read my posts know I've been with my significant other for seven years. He has PTSD. He's special forces stationed in the Middle East. Our relationship was a roller coaster for years but I finally set...

Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well. I haven't been on here recently because there has been no real problems. Life has been good! My sweetheart has been doing so well! Life will never be like it was before the PTSD but we've been doing the best we can. We work together, and things are...

Since we live long distance at the moment, we have designated times we speak. For a few minutes in the morning and in the afternoons and on weekends. When he is in a good place, we wants to speak to me often. When he isolates, he stays away and only speaks to me at the bare minimum. He says he...

Bell, in the past he's been very mean. I had to set up boundaries because he was doing things that I couldn't tolerate like being emotionally abusive and threateaned the relationship. At the same time, i began therapy for my codependence. It was getting out of control, and his actions were...

Arfie, I'm very glad to have you chime in. Thank you for giving such a thoughtful and helpful response. You too, Belle. My dearest is usually okay. He manages his stress well for the most part. He normally is quite considerate of my thoughts and feelings. This month has just been really...

I'm having a bad moment. I'm frustrated and angry. He told me today, I'm a stressor, not a stress reliever. This was after I wrote him an email detailing how much I love him, how much I want to be with him,and how proud of him I am of him. I feel kind of foolish now. He says I'm abrasive in how...

Wow, thanks for linking those posts Sweetpea! I love Anthony's posts. I always seem to learn something! You are right, I'm not a trigger, I'm a stressor. He has trouble dealing with stress in his everyday life. I just don't want to add to it if I can help it. And I know when I behave in a...

Ugh...taking a moment to vent. My sufferer just got home yesterday from his trip (he was isolating and needed space). Was so glad to see him and he was so much better! We were talking about the weekend (we always spend it together), when he told me he was spending time with friends on one of...

Seaotter, I see lots of similarities between your situation and how things used to be between my sufferer and I. A few years ago, I used to threaten the relationship between my beloved and I. I would put up with his behavior that was so hard for me to understand for as long as I could. His...

Years ago, he had a member of his squad die in a Humvee crash when they were on assignment in Pakistan. He was in the car- he lived and his friend died. That was the start of the PTSD and could very well be tied to his need for perfectionism. I think the other reason is because he works for a...

I am angry because when you isolate you don't seem to miss me at all. I miss you so much when you are gone. I am angry because you enjoy time alone or with friends more than with me. I am angry that I still get butterflies in my stomach when you speak, but you treat me like I'm disposable...

No therapy, Broken Brain. He is lives in Bahrain and there are no qualified therapists there that specialize in PTSD. I emailed some of the top professors in the States asking if they knew anyone-no go. He can't use military resources because he works for a private company and they don't keep...

I think part of the problem is that in the past I was a terrible supporter. Before I was educated about PTSD I would get very anxious and upset when he would isolate, my temper would act up when he was triggered. I didn't understand what he was going through, and I almost lost him. I was...

Hi everyone! My question is for a sufferer or anyone who has a long term relationship with their sufferer. I have been with my beloved for 6 years, 4 of which he has had combat PTSD. I am the closest thing to family he has, and I absolutely trigger him the most often, and the most quickly. I...

This is a great post with many really great replies. Sweetpea your reply was great. It was just what I needed to hear this morning. ARH, I have no clue how to master the dance. I've been trying for 4 years now and it hasn't worked. I still trigger my beloved over the smallest things and that...

ARH, I understand totally. I always hope that this isolation period will be his last, but I know it won't. This craziness is what I signed up for when I chose my sufferer. I have trouble maintaining boundaries too...especially because when I need to remind my sufferer of the boundaries, he's...

Hello everyone! Sorry it took me so long to reply. It was the end of the marking period at my son's school and my sufferer continued to have a bad weekend so I got caught up. Long story short, he took a vacation this week and wants to be left alone to recharge. No contact at all until next...

Hi everyone! Today is a bad day for my sufferer, I triggered him accidentally by having a tone of voice he didn't like. One sentence, then he said I was arrogant then went to bed. Today he's isolating and won't speak and it's his vacation which was supposed to equal lots of time together. I...

God, I was stupid. Stupid. I let him call me this morning. I wanted to tell him that I would not be his gaming buddy. That I realized he would never take responsibility for his actions, was abusive and that I deserved better. His response? He started singing "Hallelujah" and said I finally got...

I agree! I don't know how I didn't see it Nursenurse. Everyone kept telling me to get away, but I'd make excuses and stay. I know I was starting to internalize it, he was starting to make me believe I was truly the problem. I'm going to move on. I know he isn't good for me and I think you are...

Thank you for the reply Nicolette! I feel silly asking this, but I don't understand, truly. What is he getting from me that makes him want to maintain contact? Does abusing me make him feel better, healthier? I know our relationship follows the abuse cycle perfectly. You're right, I don't...