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As of now I have overcome. I know the addictions can always come back. I had a gaming, food, and isolation addiction. Each helped me with one form or another of anxiety. They were my medicine when nothing else worked. Of course there were side effects, some pretty bad. It was also really...

I went through a similar set of feelings and experiences several years ago. I had been going to couples therapy with my now ex-wife, and it didn't work out. But I kept the therapist. I would start hitting the hard stuff and crying hard and loud at about 50 minutes into therapy. I was lucky...

You should be stressed out. I'd be stressed out in your shoes. It's a big thing you have done. It's life changing. And it's real life, not denial. Your Dad problem needed to be addressed. My mother was in your shoes, whith the sexial abuse, that is. She never reported it. No one would...

You could say that the way you perceive time (or people, your feelings, your body, or whatever way you dissociate) changes due to the triggering of some past trauma. You could also tell your friend how long it usually takes to recover. I was like you. I have had huge chunks of my life where...

I have developmental PTSD, and one of the first things I learned after I got on this forum was that there is a lot of co-morbidity. There are a lot of symptoms of PTSD that look like other problems. It's very complicated. I remember describing the best I could some of my myth making...

You have to live a life of someone who has experienced some pretty horrible childhood trauma. I've had to accept my limitations, and learn to heal and grow slowly. And no you are not a toy. You are a person who was put through the wringer. I felt like a toy. A sex toy. It was awful. I get...

I've talked to her about it. She always gets defensive. She says I should let go of the past, or that it didn't happen, or that I am just hurting her by bringing it up. She's still pretty crazy, in a typical, abuser sort of way.

I've been in therapy for 25 years making making many many mistakes with getting the wrong therapists or thinking I was done. I never new how bad the PTSD really was. Welcome to the forum! Sorry you're having a hard time now.

I've been to a few NA meetings and they can really vary. Best to find one that works for you. I go to AA and know it's not so much about what they are, but what I can make of it. The religion thing doesn't have to be a problem. Most meetings are very tollerant and understanding of their many...

When I first started dealing with my trauma history it was right after I quit drinking, and my memory of anything in my past was really limited. Over time my memory has improved, both to recovery from alcoholism an recovery from developmental PTSD. I wouldn't be surprised if your Rolandic...

I know what you mean. When my daughter made a suicide attempt I felt totally responsible. That was 3 years ago. She's made much improvement. I have to stop myself when I start the self-blame. I did the best I could. I know I did some things to make it worse, but that was out of my control...

Anyone smiling at me. Success. Requests to share my triggers (Not your fault, its my trigger). Mistakes, especially small ones.

Yes, this sounds familiar. First, because of the somatic work you have done I will assume that you know the difference between anxiety and physical ailment. I spent a lot of money in ER's trying to take care of physical problems when they were really anxiety. (Don't make the mistake of...

I was never hit in a way that would leave a physical mark. My mom was proud that she left no physical mark. She sure could cause a lot of pain, regardless of the physical evidence. The most skilled abusers leave nothing to incriminate them. And the pain I felt wasn't just physical, it was...

I have had the same experience and it's not been because of current stresses. They've been triggered by current stresses, but these attacks are about the past trauma. I call these events anxiety attacks or panic attacks. They are for me directly associated with the trauma. There is one...

There is no winning an argument with someone who is abusive. I have had similar arguments with my mom, who says that she used to beat me because she had no other way to control me. At other times she will deny she did it at all. And at other times she blames my feelings about it on me wanting...

Three way interactions like this are tough since abusers can be really good at using people against each other. Your cousin's interactions with the abuser are not your responsibility, unless you are doing something to force the issue, which doesn't sound like is happening. I grew up with...

I can't have ice cream, or anything with added sugar. :cry: But I can have smoothies, as long as it's real fruit. Does that count? I love fuzzy smoothies. Strawberry and peach! :):hungry:

I have to battle both the fear of completion and the fear of not completing. I've been dealing with this for a long time. Right now I'm back in college. I really want to get this done. I keep getting stuck, but for the moment I feel confident that I will at least complete my current class...

I've been on this forum for a little over a year and have read a couple of stories pretty close to yours. I wish I could direct you to those posts. However, maybe those people will read your post and comment. Good luck and welcome to the forum.

Emotional abuse by a parent is so destructive. Welcome to the forum.

Welcome to the forum! There are a lot of people here who can relate to your store, including me.

I've done a lot of things to change how I feel, hide successes, make good feelings go away. Some people drink to feel good. I drank to sedate the fear of feeling good. What you describe is drinking as medicine. I can relate. Just be careful. Alcohol has some pretty bad side affects. Here...

Some times I just have to go with it. However it helps to know that I am going with it by choice. I would say to my self "I'm in the middle of a panic attack and I am not going to be doing anything else for a while. My job at the moment is to ride it out. And since I've ridden these out...

My new therapist (3 sessions so far) is not trained specifically in trauma, though she has some background in it. She had me read an article on how to use pleasant memories to reduce or even get rid of the distress caused by unpleasant memories. It provides several skills that can help with...