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I still have my moments of being sad, and confused & conflicted. But it really helps to talk it out and just vent. Especially when so many of you guys have been through something so similar & have pushed through. You guys are inspiration in a difficult time. I can't thank you enough.

But yes I have friends! Tomorrow I took off of work, im actually going to do a yoga class, grab lunch with a friend i havent seen in a while and then spend the rest of the day with another girlfriend of mine. I can't just sit at home and mope all day, especially when I know for a fact he's not.

. THIS! I know there are parts that go together with his PTSD, but I also know the other part isnt a part of that either. Which quite frankly, sucks. I know I deserve more, it's just hard because of the moment and of course everything we've endured and gone through. And the things I...

Yes I know. I go back and forth with it. One minute i want to wait, the other I just want to forget him. This sucks :cry: He has left before and returned but I dont know.

I'm not sure I don't want to throw the towel in, or if i do. I woke up this morning so in my feelings and so upset. I'm trying really hard to compose myself at work. Mornings and right before going to bed are the hardest. I think about EVERYTHING. Ugh. This is so damn hard, i'm so hurt. I feel...

oh i know he partied, i guess i was just looking for kind of an excuse for his behavior but there’s none. & i go back and forth because like you said they should be able to spoil you, feel lucky etc and he was all those things for a while. i’m just not sure what happened that he stopped and...

Leehalf THANK YOU SO MUCH. you’re so loved and thanked for all and everything you’ve ever said to me. i’m taking all of this to heart and along with me forever.

So very true. I tend to want to isolate myself and not go out with my friends but i have to kind of break out of my own misery. i’ve given him honestly 5+ chances and that’s my mistake. this next one (if there ever is) will not be given so lightly. i would have worked too hard to regain my...

You all just made me cry again. So much kindness, understanding and help from strangers who don’t even really feel like strangers. I will still be on the site as i said! Maybe if i have a breaking point or one day where i’m not as strong as the one before. I will need you guys, and i want to be...

Thank you so much for the hugs, i accept and send one back. This is definitely a pain i would never wish on anyone. the confusion and everything intertwined is very difficult on me.

you guys are all right. i’m of course just hurt, i’m honestly not even sure why i’m as shocked or as surprised as i am. i don’t think is he healthy enough right now to focus on me or a relationship, he doesn’t even really realize he needs to focus on himself he can’t possibly focus on me...

I’m not going to hold on to any kind of expectation or think he’s going to come back. i have to act as though this is it or i’m just going to drive myself crazy thinking about everything. I’m still very sad and upset though. it’s been a little over an hour and i miss him so much. not sure how...

update - he was here for about 45 minutes and then left. i was very calm, i didn’t cry until he was leaving. i spoke to him without yelling or being too upset. i told him basically that it wasn’t fair that he said it had to do with his feelings because it doesn’t. he agreed. then i said that i...

i’m so unbelievably distraught. i don’t understand him, or half the things he said because i know they aren’t true. it’s like he’s saying them to push me away on purpose. i left work because i was so upset and now i’m home just waiting for him to get here to get his things. what do i even say...

Last night, he took off without any explanation really, just said that he needed to go to his friends etc leaving me anxious and panicky with no answers. Then last night he told me that there are things he is doing that arent my business and he hasnt lied to me and would not keep things from me...

I am currently having a mental breakdown, someone please talk to me. He just ended things out of nowhere.

Oh my goodness am I always tense now! & i'm telling you, i was completely fine with how things were going (because they were getting better as I updated y'all) and then he did that GF thing and ever since i've been on complete edge. I'm not fully aware of how to just relax, and stop having...

Honestly I saw these yesterday and could not even reply because I got so emotional. Everything is just so weird, he is not the same person he was two months ago. Or maybe he is, and he's just now showing the real him. I'm losing grip of this. I cried so much last night, i'm just so sad. His...

I think I remember you mentioning that, no updates for you?

Im so thankful for this website and all of you commenting on my thread and helping me through this. I felt so heavy this morning, and after just talking it out I feel a bit more relaxed. I'm going to try my best to just let things go and try not to let them get to me. It just sucks when you're...

Very true, I mean I always had the goal to give it time, because this is someone I see myself with for the rest of my life. But I just dont think i have let go of the whole dangling the girlfriend over me as he did. Kind of like that commerical with the old man and the dollar on the fishing...

SO HURTFUL. & it's like i've noticed him getting closer to me, in a way like i said with the whole new years thing. But then he does that and im like, ok i dont get it - So how do i just chill and go with the flow? Should i even? :(

UGH. I was doing SO good and now im just, blah. Basically he is starting to act up again, not as bad as before, well more so not the same way. He has been going out with his friends, one bestfriend in particular, and staying out until 6am. & I got upset about it saturday night and basically...

Update: Anyone want to help out? I'm feeling a little misguided, confused again. I fear to be falling back from the progress I thought we had made. :(

Things still arent 100% or perfect, but the fact that I can just notice things are really pushing me to be hopeful for the future, and our future. I love him, i know he loves me, and with this websites help, i know how to handle certain situations. If you truly believe he loves you, just be...