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For me, seeking help is sort of like a loss of control. Or releasing some sort of control. So I see seeking help as a massive thing and a huge victory for all of us on this forum. Also for acknowledging that we need or want help and want to change/survive. I have a very small support network...

Yes I don't want the personal guilt afterwards if I make contact. It's getting late here, so I think I will message her in the morning and see what she suggests. Thank you for your replies @digger.

@digger yes it's possible. I don't like to though as I hate the dependency if that makes sense. It is a personal achievement if I make it to the next weeks without emailing etc I think I really have to this time.

@digger we spent the last bit of the session just trying to get me together. We didn’t actually discuss what happened. I do plan on going over it with my therapist next week but I am not sure I can last that long. Im on the edge of something! Anxiety is heightened and to top it off I have a...

Thank you @Angelwings. It’s really horrible. I am sorry you have experienced this also. It caught me off guard so I’m freaking out about it a little. I am not sure that the specific pain was related to the trauma though. It was so powerful! Could this be abreaction?

I am currently at a very difficult part of going through EMDR. I had therapy yesterday and I have not been able to verbally talk about a specific memory one of which is probably one of the more difficult. I began to get a little upset and then I felt like something took over my emotions. I felt...

English and basic Italian still learning though. A little Dutch, German and French. I’d love to be completely fluent in Italian. I do like the idea of Cursing and sarcasm though @Tornadic Thoughts :)

Start a diary. It’s a good way to off load and also maybe others will connect with similar feelings experiences. I am sorry of what you experienced it is so tough but it can get better sometimes. The people on this forum are amazing. I have been diagnosed for around 15 years and currently in...

Welcome @Angelwings. Also a survivor of CSA and PTS. It’s tough but there is alot supportive people on here to hold you up when you are down and celebrate your victories.

Welcome @Peaceful Warrior! I’m sorry you are having a tough time of it. The transition is pretty difficult. I have been diagnosed officially with PTSD for 16 years. My first bad lapse was when I was 18 and I seemed to drag myself out of it for a number of years and manage my symptoms pretty...

Yes mainly for me too. Although it is a similar feeling also to when you are having a coughing fit and feel like your eyes are popping out and you haven’t taken in enough oxygen.

Do any of you ever get pins and needles around your eyes when having this flashback/body memory etc? @Sweetleaf respect for bringing the subject up. It is probably the next subject for me to get out with my therapist and so not looking forward to trying to put a voice to it. I have a lot more to...

Such a difficult scenario for me to delve into. I’m sorry this happened to you too. But yes I can relate. Hugs for you if you accept.

Well done @littleoc a very powerful post. It has really struck a chord with me.

@Mee so true! Any running water is a blessing. I love spring! The cherry blossoms, daffodils, the smell of fresh air, new life!

I wouldn’t say we were officially in a relationship and we did not share friend groups. So seemed somewhat a little easier. Mainly as I was so scared of having a sexual relationship even though I wanted one and I didn’t want him to lead that. I wanted to be in control. I am so glad that he was...

@somerandomguy i can relate to this. Since my pts was retriggered almost two years ago this is mostly my daily state. Even worse if I drink coffee or any stimulant. I am currently using a load of different techniques. Breath in for 6 seconds. Hold for six and breath out for six. At the same time...

For the sunrise on this beautiful day! Orange and red streaked across snow peaked mountains = Bliss. For another day of trying to be ‘here’ and absorbing every last drop of fun and memories with my babies. Makes my heart warm.

@recoveringfromptsd that sounds difficult. A psychiatric doc app here is around €130 and general 1 hour therapy is €70. The same as some other countries I could access state therapy and doctors but you are never guaranteed the same therapist or doctor. Or there is a restriction on how many...

Welcome here!

I’m in Italy and there is in general a difference between paying ‘private’ or local services. It was local services that re triggered my pts and my Italian is not completely fluent. I have managed to find a great therapist specialising in trauma and who also speaks English! I get 19% of the cost...

Thank you @EveHarrington for your reply. That makes sense.

Im sorry you are feeling like this. I get it! I’m not a big drinker and less so since been on medication but it often makes me feel worse. I’m also the same drinking any caffeinated drink, coffee or coke. I’m now on water and herbal teas. I feel safer and calmer with just these but I do miss the...

I am due to see my psychiatrist next Friday to go through my meds etc. When I initially saw him he stated that it would be advisable because of the severity of PTS that I should consider long term therapy. Maybe not every week but once things settle maybe once a fortnight/month or so to have...

Thanks @littleoc