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Ultimately, what @Friday said. It takes 2 yeses, but only 1 no. It sucks so badly. I was let go after 7+ years together (5+ of them married). It hurts, and it probably always will. There will be no "closure" for me, even though we are still in contact. It hurts, but you will eventually be able...

:hug: I hate days like that. Weeks like that. Don't forget about self care. Sometimes allowing a day or two of complete non-productivity and solitude makes all the difference.

Oh! I almost forgot - if the goal is weight loss, cut out soda/pop/soft drinks. Entirely. If it's needed, make it a rare treat (I still love me an occasional root beer ...or ginger ale with rum). If the fizzy and sweet are the craving, use club soda or mineral water with a splash of whole fruit...

One of my favorite "healthy" substitutes? Baked chicken/veal/pork parmesan (or schnitzel). Pound your meat of choice (hehehehehe) thin, salt and pepper it, seasoned flour dredge, egg dunk, and second dredge, this time in seasoned bread or panko crumbs, then bake it instead of frying. I have a...

That chili doesn't really have anything in it that's *not* healthy, to be honest. Pork is a fairly lean meat (if you use loin or other leaner cuts, or brown it and then skim off/drain the fat), try to limit the sour cream (I assume it's a topping?) to an actual serving (like 1 tablespoon), or...

My (soon-to-be-ex) sufferer has had memory problems throughout the life of our relationship, and does the "does/says/likes" something one day, and claim he never did/said/liked it two weeks later (or two days...it's maddening). It was for things small, like mayonnaise, to things big, like our...

To add: if he is not getting his own counseling/therapy, marriage counseling may very well hurt more than it helps, because he doesn't have the tools to cope with the stress and emotions brought out by marriage counseling. His hurtful words towards you may be the "push" part of the push/pull...

:hug::hug::hug::hug: @tiredtexan

Ironically, it took my sufferer to push me away to finally realize it was the right thing. And, it's taken me this long (7+ months) to really accept that it's the right thing, for both of us. If I'm honest with myself, I was ready to walk out the door on more than one occasion throughout our...

My confidence was completely shattered in my relationship with my (soon to be ex-) sufferer. I know, in retrospect, that I should have had better boundaries about communication and his behavior towards me, but when you're trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, and they say they're...

It sounds like a variation of the push/pull to me, to be honest (along with some of the...I don't know if it's disordered thinking, or just an inability to make decisions that goes with anxiety or what). My own sufferer's opinions would change sometimes daily about what he wants to do, what he...

You definitely are not alone! I, too, have my own mental illness (anxiety and depression), and have been struggling with them my whole life. And, I, too, have had my sufferer use the fact that they haven't always been under the control I thought, against me, while refusing to deal with his own...

My soon-to-be-ex and I started out long distance as well, and when I flew from the midwest to California to visit him for a long weekend (almost a week, and at his invitation), I almost cut my trip short because of how much he pulled away. I tried to talk to him about it, and he had no idea why...

In all honesty, I think it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, as long as everyone is a consenting adult and having fun and/or being fulfilled. If your slave/Master relationship works for you, great! But it sounds like you might not be as fulfilled you would like to be, and are questioning...

I honestly believe that lies and gaslighting were not intentional on my sufferer's part. In retrospect, the lies happened when he was dissociating and he doesn't always remember the awful things he would say, but at the same time wouldn't admit he even admit it was a problem. Instead, he'd tell...

Yup. IF he mentioned PTSD at all early in our relationship, it was in passing - I remember him saying once that "all you need to know is, if I tell you to leave me alone, then you need to leave me alone." I honestly at this point don't remember if it was in reference to PTSD or not. He always...

@simon12 - Such changes kind of go hand in hand with c-PTSD relationships, especially if the sufferer is not getting treatment or dealing adequately. You can read my story around the board in various forums - 5 year marriage, 7 year relationship gone because my sufferer was triggered by...

It does sound like the notion that you have to get on board with her dreams, or move on, is part of all-or-nothing thinking, which does go along with PTSD. Obsessing also goes along with it - IE, one activity that they delve into, and don't pay attention to anything else. I don't know if the...

Vacations with my sufferer were generally difficult. I had no idea his triggers (or that he HAD triggers...or that he had PTSD, it's just all in retrospect that I'm like "Huh. So that's what that was about."), so random blowups were common. He expected me to do all the planning, from activities...

Not quite the same problem - his sex drive took a nose dive fairly early in our relationship, but mine ended up almost non-existent as well because of the constant rejection from him. That, coupled with his...I guess prudishness is the right word, made me feel completely undesirable. His words...

Transference seems to happen in PTSD relationships (if that is what it is). My own soon to be ex would tell me I'm as bad an abuser as his mother, and as bad as a sexual predator when he was symptomatic, and then later, when calmed down, admit he doesn't believe that at all, and that I'm not any...

What @Friday said. Short answer is yes, but without a diagnosis, could be something else. My own soon to be ex went from "I love you and we can work through anything" to "I don't know if I love you and I'm just numb and want to be alone," after his stress cup ran way over, in the matter of a week.

OMG if I hear one more time how I don't seem like someone who has depression.... I should come up with a playlist to play on mini speakers wherever I go...a soundtrack to my moods! lol

I can't speak for all supporters, but sometimes we get sucked into our own sufferer's denial, too. I was asked to trust him, and accept that all I needed to know about his "issues" was that if he told me to leave him alone, I needed to leave him alone. Against my better judgement, I listened to...

Wheeeee I've been living with my mom a week now. Out of the frying pan and into another frying pan. I hadn't spent any significant amount of time with her in years, beyond vacations together, which doesn't really give you a full picture. I am seriously worried about her health, but finally...