Relationship Girlfriend needs space

[Deleted member 42534]

Yes lostforgottonsoul, many thanks for your message. A lot of what you said makes sense. Especially in regards to boundaries... although if you could elaborate on that - it would be great. I think I get enmeshed in relationships... when I need to be firm with my own boundaries and identity, and not be so affected by the other person...

I am quite new to the whole PTSD thing, I really didn't know much about it, but so many of her symptoms flagged PTSD (nightmares, flashbacks, hot cold, emotional numbness, transference, depressive episodes, anxiety, attachment issues etc) , that's when I realised... I don't think she herself properly acknowledges it, but knows there is something wrong.

In any case, I think previous posts are right, i need to take some time for myself, take care of myself :)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I am quite new to the whole PTSD thing, I really didn't know much about it, but so many of her symptoms flagged PTSD (nightmares, flashbacks, hot cold, emotional numbness, transference, depressive episodes, anxiety, attachment issues etc) , that's when I realised... I don't think she herself properly acknowledges it, but knows there is something wrong.

Ah, I didn't realize she was undiagnosed. Is she willing to see a therapist if you point out these symptoms? So many disorders mimic PTSD and have cross over symptoms, like BPD. Though flashbacks are more PTSD, it's best to let a professional diagnose it.

. A lot of what you said makes sense. Especially in regards to boundaries... although if you could elaborate on that

Elaborate in which way? Setting boundries? What kinds? Adhering? Concequences if broken?

Remember that boundries are what you will and will not allow in your life. It has nothing to do with another's or other's actions.

 

[grimalkin]

Transference seems to happen in PTSD relationships (if that is what it is). My own soon to be ex would tell me I'm as bad an abuser as his mother, and as bad as a sexual predator when he was symptomatic, and then later, when calmed down, admit he doesn't believe that at all, and that I'm not any of the horrible things he'd tell me I am.

One good boundary (which I didn't have and didn't develop until it was too late, unfortunately, because it was so surreal being accused of such things) I needed was to not tolerate being accused of stuff like that. "I will not tolerate being called abusive when I am not, and if you do, I will not engage you until you calm down and can stop vilifying me," would be an example of a boundary and consequence.

 

[Lola1800]

Seems like this issue is not going to be resolved any time soon! Transference definitely needs professiona...

You must move on. Life is too short