My girlfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. 3 weeks ago, she broke up with me for the first time thinking that I didn’t care about our future. We “got back together” a day later after numerous communication that reflected our communication breakdown previously. Now things are slow, nothing beyond hugging and holding hand. Sex definitely is non existent now as she can’t even look at me naked.
Recently, something happened and one of her family members lost her job. Due to my girlfriend being more emotional than anyone else in the family, she is greatly affected even though the situation had been ‘solved’ (they have no financial obligation, retirement age). But because it is taking a huge toll on her, she was ranting to me. I couldn’t understand at all but I don’t think we are meant to understand everything another person is going through down to the core. I was there for her, listening and everything for the past 5 days. Yesterday’s’ morning, she suddenly gone quiet and told me that she don’t want to talk about it much anymore as it is “making her more sad”. She dismissed all my previous messages from the night before by telling me to stop accessing her like a therapist (I wasn’t and was just doing what I’ve been doing). We still talk but I could sense that she is creating a barrier. I get inconsistent goodnights and good mornings, and I only get pet name on a GOOD DAY or GOOD HOUR. This is definitely a sign of her distancing and pushing me away as I’ve known her for over 3 years.
Her affections were on and off after our breakup, but she was mostly still engaging. This issue that happened to her family member has made our rebuilding even more challenging due to her emotional state. I’m still recovering from the breakup as it was blindsided. My subconscious is still preparing for the day where she does it again, even though I hope she doesn’t. I love her so much and it hurts to see her hurting. I was also hurting her before the breakup but due to miscommunication and I hate myself for making her go through all those things.
Should I give her more space and let her reach out to me more enthusiastically instead of me spamming about my day randomly? She still reach out enthusiastically but it’s inconsistent now.
Recently, something happened and one of her family members lost her job. Due to my girlfriend being more emotional than anyone else in the family, she is greatly affected even though the situation had been ‘solved’ (they have no financial obligation, retirement age). But because it is taking a huge toll on her, she was ranting to me. I couldn’t understand at all but I don’t think we are meant to understand everything another person is going through down to the core. I was there for her, listening and everything for the past 5 days. Yesterday’s’ morning, she suddenly gone quiet and told me that she don’t want to talk about it much anymore as it is “making her more sad”. She dismissed all my previous messages from the night before by telling me to stop accessing her like a therapist (I wasn’t and was just doing what I’ve been doing). We still talk but I could sense that she is creating a barrier. I get inconsistent goodnights and good mornings, and I only get pet name on a GOOD DAY or GOOD HOUR. This is definitely a sign of her distancing and pushing me away as I’ve known her for over 3 years.
Her affections were on and off after our breakup, but she was mostly still engaging. This issue that happened to her family member has made our rebuilding even more challenging due to her emotional state. I’m still recovering from the breakup as it was blindsided. My subconscious is still preparing for the day where she does it again, even though I hope she doesn’t. I love her so much and it hurts to see her hurting. I was also hurting her before the breakup but due to miscommunication and I hate myself for making her go through all those things.
Should I give her more space and let her reach out to me more enthusiastically instead of me spamming about my day randomly? She still reach out enthusiastically but it’s inconsistent now.
