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Search results

  1. RubyBlue

    Living where the trauma took place

    I know this exact situation and it’s horrible so I get it. Something my T has been working with me on for it is creating new safety out of the existing space. For instance, my room now has several little things (candles/night light/fairy lights/etc) that make it more my own and less like the...
  2. RubyBlue

    Following Through

    This is me to a tee. So I’m following this and hoping some good advice comes through.
  3. RubyBlue

    smoking cannabis oil ....is this okay for ptsd ?

    I haven’t used it (personally pretty against it but that’s besides the point). But if you search, not too far back is a post about cannabis giving the user some body memories/flashbacks. Those can be extremely disturbing and scary and I’ve also heard reports of it increasing feelings of...
  4. RubyBlue

    I know I have control but how do I learn to harness that power?

    Something that helps me feel more in control is grounding. The ones I use the most are yoga, going hiking/exploring/something active and outdoors, and playing with my pets.
  5. RubyBlue

    Being a people pleaser / doormat. Has anyone been able to stop? How do you do it?

    Another point I forgot earlier that builds on what Shimmerz just said: the oxygen mask analogy. You can’t be any use to anyone if you don’t have your own oxygen to work from first. You can’t save that baby next to you unless you’ve got your mask on literally giving you the strength to help...
  6. RubyBlue

    Being a people pleaser / doormat. Has anyone been able to stop? How do you do it?

    Fake it till you make it. Seriously, pretend you are a stranger to yourself or an acquaintance of some sort. How do you treat strangers around you? Are you generally kind and would give them the advice to stand up for themselves against people clearly taking advantage? Pretend you are that...
  7. RubyBlue

    Tv shows/commercials that are triggering/inappropriate

    I really don’t want to go back to the days of Lucille Ball being ridiculed for being the first pregnant woman on TV. Because oh my goodness pregnancy is a sign that she had sex at some point and man is that inappropriate to show audiences that include children. Who ironically were created by...
  8. RubyBlue

    Women/feminists deny male victimhood

    I know you aren’t my biggest fan, that’s cool, love you too ?. But. She’s absolutely right. Abuse knows no gender. It crosses all genders, classes, socioeconomics, races, theres literally no one “thing” that abuse has become exclusive to. Men absolutely can be abused, and have been, I...
  9. RubyBlue

    stopping therapy because of disclosure?

    I know you aren’t asking me, but writing really helps. Something I do with my T is I will write down a memory (or whatever the issue is) and bring it with me to my appt. She then reads it out loud and asks questions, expresses concerns, just goes through it with me. I’m sure at some point we...
  10. RubyBlue

    We can control anger

    I feel like you’re mixing a couple concepts that could be construed in a unhealthy way by someone who hasn’t learned solid coping mechanisms yet. I would be careful about that. Firstly, anger itself is an absolutely normal emotion and should not be suppressed whatsoever. Suppressing anger...
  11. RubyBlue

    stopping therapy because of disclosure?

    I think stopping therapy when you’re scared and overwhelmed with things is a very normal response. However, I would do what I could to get back into therapy and discuss those feelings with the therapist. A lot of us had a similar experience of not being allowed to tell and it can be a really...
  12. RubyBlue

    When do (bad) dreams become nightmares?

    I don’t have the first clue how to gain any awareness within a dream. My dreams are like movies I’m watching that are totally out of my control and by the time I’m waking up I’m fighting for awareness that it wasn’t real and I’m actually awake now. Like it penetrates everything and by morning I...
  13. RubyBlue

    When do (bad) dreams become nightmares?

    I have attempted lucid dreaming so many times but can’t seem to make it happen. How do you make it work?
  14. RubyBlue

    When do (bad) dreams become nightmares?

    I would count those as nightmares personally. I think once we wake up we can push the intensity of the feelings aside a bit easier because then we can use a different part of the brain (or whatever) to rationalize and dissect the dream. @Ronin I’m curious on the derailment comment earlier-...
  15. RubyBlue

    When do (bad) dreams become nightmares?

    I go by the accompanying feelings. I’ve had dreams with what would be nightmare content but was kinda numb throughout/didn’t bother me. But then I’ll have ones where the content is strange but the feeling from it is sheer terror/panic/stays with me. It doesn’t have to wake me up for me to count...
  16. RubyBlue

    I can trust him but I can't

    Some things are hard to pinpoint the cause of. The lack of trust can be from a million different things including PTSD.
  17. RubyBlue

    Sufferer Hi! Recently diagnosed, disruptive and threatening neighbors

    Crit A is one of the factors involved in diagnosing PTSD. It comprises a list of traumas such as: childhood abuse (physical/sexual/etc), rape, combat exposure, physical assault, an accident. There are a few others and the list is definitely not an be all end all. I just can’t touch the rest of...
  18. RubyBlue

    I can trust him but I can't

    A couple things, this is an awesome conversation for your T. They can walk you through processing this and lowering the level of anxiety. Second, an activity that might be helpful is a logic mind vs emotional mind thing. Essentially you make two columns on a piece of paper. On one side you...
  19. RubyBlue

    Sufferer Hi! Recently diagnosed, disruptive and threatening neighbors

    I’m sorry, I want to be supportive I do. But I just can’t wrap my head around this one. I’m going to back out though so I don’t get mean since I’m still reeling from last nights nightmare about my molestation. But I wish you luck, just maybe do some research on Crit A trauma see if there’s...
  20. RubyBlue

    Should I move in with parents

    No shame in coming back home to loving people. Ya America has a bit of a stigma with it but that’s changing due to the economic climate. Sometimes living alone isn’t what’s best and that’s totally okay.
  21. RubyBlue

    Sufferer Hi! Recently diagnosed, disruptive and threatening neighbors

    Hold up. . . You were genuinely diagnosed? With PTSD? Over. . . noisy neighbors and government acting like the always do? I’m confused. . . I get if there’s like sensory processing disorder going on but not PTSD. . .
  22. RubyBlue

    People who use the pandemic as the excuse to be a jerk can eff off.

    Same out here. You see a couple rude people on social media once in awhile but for the most part everyone is just keeping to themselves, happy and helpful.
  23. RubyBlue

    Other What reasons were you given not to tell?

    Definitely the other people not understanding his “love”. I don’t want to destroy the family do I? Look how happy you make him? Would you really want to upset him? If you tell then you obviously don’t love us or care about us like we love you? Can’t you see how much more he loves you than...
  24. RubyBlue

    Other Hi all

    Oftentimes people will say something isn’t traumatic when it really is as a way of minimizing. Have you spoken to a counselor? And what brings you to a PTSD forum?
  25. RubyBlue

    COBRA - US

    I’m not super familiar with it because it always seemed so expensive, but have you contacted COBRA directly? I’m sure they have someone who can walk you through the process.
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