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  1. L

    Relationship Intimacy & Commitment

    Love this, absolutely spot on!
  2. L

    Relationship Sufferer Is 'back'! Normal Service Has Resumed

    So you reached out, does that make you wrong? Heck no! Just shows you care. Don't feel bad for using your own coping mechanism/survival mode they same way your SO is using theirs. I'm sure your SO read your message and absorbed it. Let them come to you, you can do no more. ((Hugs))
  3. L

    Relationship Intimacy & Commitment

    I'm totally with you @AlshaSoDak . Our kind of relationships will progress very differently and in an unconventional way to most. Its just an adjustment to make. It sounds to me like you are both trying your best to bond better. Going against the grain outside your natural level of comfort to...
  4. L

    Relationship Sufferer Is 'back'! Normal Service Has Resumed

    Awww, thankyou @Snowflakes that's very kind and supportive. I know my journey is pretty much just beginning. This will be a lifelong rollercoaster if we make it. So I'm not going anywhere, will need all the advice and support I can get from you guys. And hopefully be of some help myself. That...
  5. L

    Relationship Sufferer Is 'back'! Normal Service Has Resumed

    Definitely could not have come through it on my own. He's already talking about meeting and doing something next week and in my head I'm a little like "whoa there...let's not go filling up the cup too quickly again" Thank you so much, what kind words you gave me.:hug:
  6. L

    Relationship Sufferer Is 'back'! Normal Service Has Resumed

    I feel like this is my new family. Just wanted to share that I received communication this evening from SO exactly 3 weeks to the day from the start of his isolation. This happened just after last Christmas too, an exact period of 3 weeks?? He reached out and sent a long text of apology and...
  7. L

    Relationship Question For The Long Term Supporters/old Timers

    Hmmm, interesting. Thanks for enlightening, I gotta read up in that.
  8. L

    Relationship Question For The Long Term Supporters/old Timers

    Yeah, my mum ran out and saved me in time with the broom she was sweeping with. I think we absolutely understand each other. I feel fortunate I don't suffer PTSD not even a fear of dogs? Its an interesting point you make however about why some people go through traumatic events without lifelong...
  9. L

    Relationship Question For The Long Term Supporters/old Timers

    Desperately trying to out run thus animal back to my mum. The fear, the panic and then later as I grew up and realised it was all because they hated the colour of my skin. That's just one incident but point being I decided to face it and get help. I remember it but it doesn't dominate my life...
  10. L

    Relationship Question For The Long Term Supporters/old Timers

    I am not and would never belittle how crippling and consuming PTSD is. I am not about to play 'one up'. I may not have divulged everything in life I've been through some if which I still bear physical as well as mental scars from. I sort counselling a long time ago and laid it to rest. When I...
  11. L

    Supporter Does Reaching Out Make Things Worst?

    I'm glad to be of some help, I come here everyday and read to stay sane. We can choose to walk away anytime but if we choose to stay until we definitively know otherwise, then all we can do is back off, give space, believe in them and stay positive. Here anytime you need to offload...hugs.
  12. L

    Relationship Question For The Long Term Supporters/old Timers

    Yup! I would say I have mild abandonment/self worth issues. I try never to project on to any new relationship (not that there have been many) and always give a clean slate. So this isolation thing has me totally panicking and trying to fight to stay out of the darkness. I would like my...
  13. L

    Relationship Question For The Long Term Supporters/old Timers

    This is exactly me. We've had a great honeymoon period for 5 months (nearly forgot about the PTSD) and then nearly 3 weeks ago the switch flipped! No real warning apart from the lessening calls/texts. Every message from him always ended in 'X' (he made a point of re-sending messages if he forgot...
  14. L

    Supporter Does Reaching Out Make Things Worst?

    Hi, well done for coming here to get help and advice. Shows real support and commitment to your sufferer. Make some room for me coz I'm in the same boat too, without any navigational system. I have a recent thread with some great advice attached, click me and have a read it may help. From what...
  15. L

    Relationship Should I Reach Out To Him Again?

    Yeah, your kinda preaching to the choir. Lots of people have already advised similar and I agree for the most part which is why I stated I am leaving as is as I can't guess where his head is at unless he chooses to communicate with me. For the record I never said he's 'the one' I am old enough...
  16. L

    Relationship Should I Reach Out To Him Again?

    Thank you, that really helps me put it all in perspective. Maybe my new job coming up is the perfect distraction at the right time. Its very technical and demanding with peoples lives at risk, so requires me to be absolutely 100% focused everyday. Thanks again.
  17. L

    Relationship Should I Reach Out To Him Again?

    You're right, I do fear history repeating itself. Thank you for reading back my threads and giving me your perspective, it helps shine a light. I had that exact same feeling/thinking that when we reach a certain serious point in the relationship which requires a slightly bigger step forward...
  18. L

    Relationship Should I Reach Out To Him Again?

    Thanks, I appreciate your no nonsense advice from first hand experience. Makes a lot of sense and pretty straight forward really. The bit where you mention about the way in which sufferers isolate being an issue for supporters rather than the act of isolating itself, is totally spot on! I could...
  19. L

    Relationship Should I Reach Out To Him Again?

    Thank you, though it pains me I think your tough love approach is right. I have needs also and to be all loved up one minute and then totally blanked the next without no fight, disagreement, explanation, NOTHING feels inconsiderate at best. I'm sure he doesn't mean it and would spiral even more...
  20. L

    Relationship Should I Reach Out To Him Again?

    Thank you, I guess you're right.... Thanks, I might try that. I agree, I never send guilt tripping messages that are clearly about alleviating my own insecurities. I'd rather not bother at all, I have to feel secure and confident without any input from him. I just miss my friend as well as my...
  21. L

    Relationship Should I Reach Out To Him Again?

    Hi all, its been a few days since my last thread and to be honest I'm struggling a bit. Its just over 2 weeks since my guy ceased all communication with me. I was the last one to message him saying I understand he needs space and that he does not need to reply to this message but that I am here...
  22. L

    Relationship Does It Ever Become Easier As A Supporter?

    Hi, sounds very much like my relationship with my guy, almost identical! Keep the faith, hang in there.
  23. L

    Relationship Why Is It Just Me?

    I think this is spot on! Another good example that loving supporters are still 'good stressors'. I am dealing with the same. I know my SO is still functioning and going to work etc...I also know he's probably not laying hurt in a ditch somewhere. Just gonna leave him be to get himself back. I...
  24. L

    Relationship Why Is It Just Me?

    Hope you hear from him soon, I'm 2 weeks in also and struggling a bit now.
  25. L

    Relationship Missing His Calls And Texting

    Everytime you feel the urge to talk to him, come here and talk to us instead. If you are in this for the long haul you need to try some tough love on yourself first. I will be alone yet again tonight. But I have planned to do some reading, call a friend, watch a movie and paint my nails...
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