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Anna, maybe she is trying to make sure that you have them after she is gone.

Tif, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I am not at all surprised that you got sick, with all that you have going on. I'm glad to hear that your therapist is continuing to work with you. She (she?) sounds like an excellent help. I'm a supporter in a relationship with a sufferer...

raven123, I am so sorry you had the parents you had. I have a couple of very fine parents. Even when we were kids (my brother and me), they treated us like people, not like things. They listened to what we had to say. They asked us questions and listened to the answers. They followed through...

Don't go, Luke! This is the internet... sometimes people get upset. And here especially, we all should know that when people get upset, sometimes it is more about what's going on with them than anything we have done. (No idea about the specifics, I haven't seen the posts in question, but...

OK, so you're seeing someone else in addition to me. That's fine. I've got a husband, and I've got you, and it's fine if you want to identify as poly as well. But geeze louise your picker sucks! I would never say this to your face, but this woman you're dating makes me so mad! Clearly she...

I've got a garden, too. It's a much more cooperative process than writing: the plants grow, or not, and it's ultimately up to them! I'm in Southern California and my garden is mostly native plants. I love it when I see butterflies and hummingbirds out there. I picked the plants to appeal to them...

Sending healing and positive thoughts your way.

If he says he wants to deal with this himself, go ahead and load him up with resources. There are some good books in the reference list on this site. There's a book aimed specifically at combat survivors, for example. There are a few books for people in relationships with people with PTSD, too...

It's been a while since I've been around. I suppose it's like that for everyone sometimes: you take a break, you come back and check in. I'm a pretty active volunteer and my boyfriend said something a while ago about how he expects me to start a nonprofit organization about PTSD someday...

I appreciate my boyfriend's strength. After all he has been through, he has never given up. I have come to realize that he is as stubborn as I am, which is probably why we are still together. He has a very twisted sense of humor which I enjoy. He can be incredibly caring. He is wonderful with...

Sunshine, I really hope you and your husband can get some help, if you haven't already. A good therapist with expertise in trauma. Maybe someone with EMDR certification. It's so, so hard to deal with this stuff on your own. Are either of you readers? Francine Shapiro has a new-ish book, now...

I'm very glad to hear that your husband is going for counseling. The military trauma is not the only thing he needs to address. His abusive childhood is also a significant issue for him, and is probably shaping what he perceives as appropriate behavior in a relationship. It may also contribute...

Boundaries aren't any good if she doesn't also have things to do to manage her stress. I haven't read any of your other posts, other than this thread... is your wife getting any sort of treatment or therapy? What resources do you have at hand? Speaking as a supporter of a person who has not...

Onigokko, congratulations on taking the step. Way to go!

I'm so glad to hear that you're taking this step. It may be a bumpy ride but keep on going!

It's huge and a good thing that he wants to see a counselor. Are you in the U.S.? I am not military so I can't speak to how dealing with this will affect his career -- I hope someone else will speak up. But the VA does have counselors and if he says he knows the steps to take, I'd say offer...

I'll go first. Please note: this is a vent, a rant, and I am not looking for advice or comfort. You said the word "commitment" and got us rings, and then you got triggered a few weeks later by my husband getting upset and arguing with me in your living room. And now you blame me for HIS being...

So many of us supporters have a lot of anger about our situations, about the actions (or inaction) of the sufferers we care about, about other things in our lives that are not under our control. Especially if we're women, we are often socialized NOT to express our anger at all. And whether we're...

LilacFaerie, I hope your job search is going well and I hope your internal process is going well, too. I've been falling apart myself for about a year, watching my boyfriend dying of alcoholism by inches, knowing that he might get some relief from his ptsd and his pain if he went to therapy but...

How do you cope with being in a relationship with someone with ptsd? - Educate yourself about ptsd. Read around the forum. Read a book or two. There are quite a few suggested here. - Do your best not to take things personally when he does things that hurt you. - Be patient with him - Go see a...

lynruss, I think your instincts are correct, that your husband's daughter's presence would increase your household stress levels, but that this isn't something you can push him about. I'm glad to hear that his ptsd improved with some therapy. Have either of you looked into EMDR therapy? It can...

A postscript to my earlier post. I have completed my sessions with the EMDR therapist and I was impressed with how effective it was. I'd like to note that EMDR therapy has a multi-step protocol. Hashi, you ask whether a person might want to talk through things before they go to EMDR -- but...

I'm a supporter for the most part, but I've been experiencing ptsd symptoms lately. I've been working with a hypnotherapist for a couple of years. She also does some body work (I mean somatic stuff) and she has a lot of experience with trauma survivors, so her insights have been important as I...

James, I am interested in that answer as well. I have a thread over in the Sufferer folders asking a similar question, about each person's journey to healing. I presume it is a slow and internal process, sometimes with a jump forward (or backward) -- there is a term in evolutionary biology...

The hardest thing is to know when to keep trying, and when to walk away. Supporters experiencing ptsd symptoms is a real thing. If you have a shorter fuse than you used to, if you get crazy angry about little things or when you think about the frustrating stuff in your life, if you're numb, if...