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I actually read here, that dream recall is based mostly on the depth or type of sleep state you manage to achieve. I believe the deeper sleep the better the recall? Correct me if I have that backward @joeylittle. I think it was a post of yours, or maybe not. Perhaps Sonic your cat is waking...

The fact that you were able to be manipulated into the act, and not the actual situation itself, screams alarm bells to me. Say no? Be comfortable with that. The guilt that led to you agreeing in the first place? Victim long before the fact. My two cents.

I struggled like this between the age 9-12, when my abuse was peaking. I sang bs about all sorts, from imaginary older sisters to stealing pointless stuff and then pointing the finger at innocent randoms. I finally stopped in the first year of high school because my poor memory meant that I...

:( He sounds like he is more of a mess than you are honey. Break ups suck. Many hugs xxx

God.damn it Hahaha

:) No body. Maybe me? All in my Imagination.

All of them. They make logical and fair queries look like lunatics in the dark. Its shamefull. But that's the game.

I dont watch tv period. Yes I've seen it. All of them, and have his books. Yes I know where you are at right now. I've been where you are, and whole heartedly agree with your summation. Simply offering you an alternative view, only because we dont survive in this world. You have gotten...

I'm a paranoid mother f*cker. What's this dudes motive? Thats my end game thought. There's a multi million dollar industry in the states, made solely off paranoia. That jack ass what's his name? Cripes I forgot. Info wars jerk. With all due respect, @anthony. Dont let these guys...

Every person on this planet needs an Alice lol

I have seen it :( But we are labeled nut jobs for these thoughts... Guess you already know this though.

:( Because trauma therapy doesn't bring in the dollar signs for those in the 1%? All medication is a mask. From Panadol to anti psychotics At least in my opinion anyway. But what would I know? Last night I watched a vid on youtube. Yeah I know. Youtube, what would it know? Yada yada...

I found it really fkn strange that they operated rather than induced labor. Was wondering if that was more cultural than anything, i know some countries will not induce labor. One kidney not operating at full capacity is pretty irrelevant, I've been running on one cylinder for most my life...

You're not done. Cant you see how much you've already made it through? You are so close to the finish line that I can smell it from Australia.

You're still here honey. Thats not defeat. And you've made it, how far? Bloody months of discomfort would have got you to this point Eclampsia takes AGES to develop, you've been in unnecessary pain for a very long time now (perhaps your whole pregnancy) and you've dealt. Then you...

Its not 'there' til you meet. And id be looking at that window the same way if I were you, kidney failure is bloody awful, one of mine died while I was pregnant at 16 (not eclampsia, i had an undiagnosed duplex that was flushing back on itself) You don't know pain til you've felt that crap...

Honey, you haven't even met him yet You have no idea about the overwhelming emotions you may feel once you look in those eyes Think only of NOW. Forget tomorrow or yesterday they are not where your residing, only now. You are frightened and alone, and its ok to feel what you are feeling...

Ok. So (pre)eclampsia. Usually the 'cure' for this condition is to take the baby out earlier. My gf had all her babes delivered at 37 weeks by c section because of it. Ffs this mob do shit the hard way. So they must have put a stent in? Your kidneys are failing. Did your previous doc...

What the hell did they do to your kidney while still pregnant? I am mind blown at this. Of course you feel the way you do, you are in fight or flight mode x ten. Why are you even out of hospital? I am so confused.

You charmer @Mr Laurie!!

Is it possible (this is of course related to myself, so grain of salt if wrong) that it stems from insecurity?

Grumpy

1. Know I need to get up and move to fight this blackness, but keep finding excuses not to. 2. Getting tired of having to refocus my thoughts about the future all the time, no goals means stagnation and stagnation means more blackness. 3. Be grateful for what you DO have woman! Ffs. 4...

Ahaha omg I remember trying to read one of my Mums old Mills and Boon novels as a kid You are spot on. Pathetic crap.

This came up in the Stockholm syndrome thread. Its quite common I think. I wouldn't have called it an obsession for myself, but most definitely felt all the feelings you describe, from around age 11 through til I took off from home around age 15. Actually no. I allowed my abuse to occur once...