Search results

Little let me get some 6 hours of my math course work done today. But I think she got mad at going away for so long, and she took over completely and I don't know what she did. I have bruises all over my forearms and a hip now. I don't know if she did this to us or if she put us in a situation...

Little and I were tested SO much at work, so many mean and rude people on the phones today. I went to the library on my first break and printed off "adult" colouring sheets for Little to colour so she could let me work. She kept quiet for most of the time even when people were mean to us. A few...

Thanks everyone for posting, it's nice to know I'm not alone in this. I'm sorry that so many you have experienced this in one form or another. :hug: to anyone who wants them.

@MT Johnny for me I know pictures and videos were taken, I've seen them in my abusers possession, that is not an unknown. What is unknown is whether or not he kept them to himself or shared them with others. The ages when these were taken are after I lost the standard little kid look. It is a...

@Go Hungry hope he isn't harsh with you. Be gentle with Go Hungry Kid.

I'm looking for others who experience this as well. I have such an intense fear of someone coming across videos or pictures of my CSA on the internet. I don't know if it was ever posted online, I just know that photos and videos were taken. It causes me anxiety on a daily basis, it doesn't go...

@Go Hungry the punching bag is small and it just lays on the floor, then you take a 2 or 3ft long piece of hose (not garden hose, bigger) and beat the bag on the floor. You are supposed to make a noise when you do it so it is more of a release. Maybe you could figure out who or what he's so...

@WildMermaid that's what it feels like for me too. I feel like my T will be disappointed in me on Monday because I've worked so hard to be a functional adult, and she's always said she's amazed at how high functioning I was considering what I've gone through. I feel like I've let her down now. I...

@WildMermaid I feel like I've gone backwards in healing since little came out on Monday. Did you feel that way when your little first came out?

@WildMermaid I forgot about little until the last weekend in March when I was in a group therapy weekend (have another at the end of this month), I got an image of little being locked in a closet with a chair wedged against the door. I didn't know she existed, I thought T was a bit crazy to be...

@Go Hungry my T has a punching bag that she brought to group and we can beat on it with a piece of hose to get out anger. It scares me too much to do it, but everyone else finds it helpful. Can you get your 12 year old person one of those?

@WildMermaid I've only been able to email with her since it happened. Since it has never happened before I don't think she realized that is what was going on, I think she thought little was just me dissociating like I do from time to time. I don't wish to be locked in a closet, I know how it...

@WildMermaid thanks, I just saw it a few minutes ago and read through it. My little is mean to me, physically and she says mean things to me in my head. I feel like little is trying to punish me for locking her in a closet until Monday.

@WildMermaid and @Born to Run are your littles mean to you too?

@Born to Run I can't call in sick to work, I wasn't at work yesterday so I need to go tomorrow. I have the weekend off so I'm going to stay in my apartment, then I see T after work Monday. @WildMermaid I will try, little is new to me as of Monday. Little doesn't seem to want to hear anything I...

@WildMermaid I just wish that little would hide away when I need to be at work, or do adult things like Dr appointments unrelated to trauma, or have my taxes done. I'm afraid little will cost me my job if she doesn't let me work.

@HollyBeans27 never got it. PM me your BBM id and I will try re-adding you. @Born to Run Thanks, you guys are amazing. I'm still struggling. I'm currently applying for disability benefits so I can focus on my mental health while in school. Little has been making me cry all day because of...

I know it doesn't hurt her to ask, but I think it will hurt little if she can't and I asked. I know that it isn't rejection if it is just me asking, but little seems to take everything personally. Example: I tried calling this afternoon to go see, or have a mobile team come see me. I tried...

I didn't ask because T sees me pro bono, and I can't ask that of her.

I wish, I need T. Tried alternate resources but they can't help today and said to go to the hospital. That's not an option.

@Born to Run I came back home after my Dr appointment today because little got worse. I don't see T today, she just wanted me to email her an update after my appointment. I don't see T until Monday.

Update: Someone in my building called the cops to my door. Something about sounding like someone was being hurt/tortured/crying/screaming... if I didn't feel crazy before, I certainly do now. It took a long time trying to convince them not to forcibly take me to the hospital. They ended up...

@Born to Run i wish I could stay adult and feel this, maybe, I don't know, I will probably change my mind if it happens. Little takes over. Little almost took over when I got my taxes done tonight. HUGE stress, didn't have receipts from T so couldn't claim a lot of medical until I get them from...

That's the part I don't know how to do. I don't know how to listen or talk to the little. I feel absolutely crazy for even having this feeling. Little doesn't seem real, little doesn't feel apart of me. I really need little to not make unsafe choices like running into traffic, I don't want to...

Little feeling seems to be gaining more fuel today. Got results back from bloodwork the neurologist did, very low B12 so have to take supplements now, plus they called back a second time and said to come in tomorrow for my EMG test instead of next month. Little feeling seems to get stronger when...