Search results

I wish I learned what a stable love feels and looks like earlier in life. I think it makes me desperate for close affection - inside, I want to go all in the moment I feel a pinch of affection from someone that I enjoy - but outward I get so scared of being too much that I keep my distance. I...

Paul

God the more I think about it, my family f*cking sucked. That house brought out the worst in us.

My older brother was different though. He would punch, kick, throw things at me. To this day my pelvis is slightly out of wack because of one time he threw me on the kitchen tile and a bruised my tailbone, and in the process my hip went out of place. Surprised my parents took me to the doctor...

Thinking about my mom’s physical threats she would make towards me and everyone else in the house when she was angry. I can hear her growling “I’m gonna punch you in the throat” clearly now. Sometimes she’d switch it up and say kick instead - was fun sometimes trying to imagine the execution of...

Awake but not in a terrible mood - butternut woke me up to remind me the feeder hasn’t gone off before it’s scheduled time as usual😑 Mind is alert now, so will be some time before I fall back asleep

I also relate, although my bullying came from in-house - that old name was used as a weapon against you, and at the time the best way for you to disarm your enemy was to change it. Now though, I suspect the people in your life have no intentions/desire to weaponize such a thing against you. As...

Crunch

It’s been a day, for a moment I thought I was making a significant turn for the better emotionally - but I just listened to a single song and I’m brought right back down. Sometimes I wonder if I should get screened for bpd when I get a chance, my mood swings can be quite extreme and long...

Texture

Turkish delights

What a bitch - what a dense pile of rocks. Why the f*ck do you think I'm upset - or do you not remember a goddamn thing you said/did again? I'm pissed - and pissed that I still care. I've been a holy f*cking saint to you considering everything. Because if I lashed out then I'd be the bitch...

snow

This work reminds me of my old therapist - she would be proud I think of what I’ve done so far. She was always good about sorting through my nonsense and helping me see things clearly for what they were in a forever calm manner. She had to close her practice years ago, but she did reach out to...

Up again - I don’t remember if I had a nightmare or not. My anxieties are ramping up now though, just trying to breathe and calm myself.

Welcome 👋

Him

Welcome! The lovely part about this place is that there is always someone else who really gets the ugly parts of life with ptsd, I hope you find your place here and what you need from it.

inhale

Just rereading everything I written so far, and it's such a weird feeling. My current day to day is unrecognizable from back then. Feels like an entirely different life, like someone else went through that and not me. But it was me. I know it will be good for me to continue to try and reconnect...

My parents had me and my older brother ride the city bus to and from school starting in 5th grade. (my 2nd time in 5th after flunking) So, from the age of 10 up to until I got my first car I generally took the city bus or walked to get where I needed to go - which was a lot of places once I got...

Welcome!👋

I did most of the dishes, and that's about it today.

Lots of pizza and water + a few breadsticks.

frost