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Aw man, I’m sorry to hear that. It must be frustrating to work through those things often. I hope things settle for you in that way - it must be super confusing to have it in the picture! Yeah, this forum is really good, I think - full of caring people who are also willing to challenge...

That’s a beautiful set of words at the end there! Yeah - interesting. It must be very bewildering at times... can you feel it coming on? This is interesting! The context of this thread was me trying to piece together the various behaviours of a girl I was dating, and although I feel much...

Aye, that’s fair enough! But what’s the difference between the two paragraphs you wrote there? (I know there is one, I just don’t immediately see it - both seem to be about sharing experience and external processing etc…?) It’s a bit complicated, this trauma stuff, isn’t it??

Thanks for sharing that - it sounds really tough. In terms of how it ties in with the original post, I sometimes find it interesting that my ex had CPTSD, but didn’t seem to have the same sense of ‘needing to avoid’, that lots of PTSD/CPTSD sufferers do. In truth… it almost felt like the...

Just sharing this here rather than my usual little diary, because this is sorta… I don’t know - a different sort of post. But I had a really interesting conversation today. I bumped into someone I worked with years ago, and we got to chatting. Theyre on my Facebook page, and I remember them...

I’m not a CPTSD expert, and also I don’t know the whole situation - so I can’t say anything for certain. But what I’ve learned about myself recently is that I’m not superhuman, and I can’t be perfect. If you hit my arm hard enough, it’ll break. If you hit my heart hard enough, it’ll break...

Yeah, I didn’t have a long relationship experience, but it was long enough to see some of this. She’d also often say things like “You take my words too seriously - don’t listen to my words!” (Seriously!) and “I interpret neutrals as negatives - you need to frame everything as a positive.” - so...

I don’t have anything profound to say; only that I’m sorry you’re going through it right now, and that I really hope the situation reaches a point of peace and clarity before too long. It sounds like a very painful position to be in… hoping for good things for you in the coming days!

Thank you - I appreciate your take! Yeah, it’s mostly the lack of friends in the new city - plus it’s more expensive and feels a bit pretentious for my taste. I think the first city might have more networking etc for me - but I’m only guessing about that. The only thing I’d say if I do go to...

This is helpful - thank you! Yeah, right now I‘m financially stretched, uprooted, and I’ve been floored by this whole situation while I should’ve been working hard on my self-employment. I think it’ll be okay when I decide where I’m spending the next year, but it feels like ‘ground zero’ to...

I‘m still figuring that out, I think! If not for the recent situation, it’d be that city. The new city isn’t really ’me’, but it sure feels like a breath of fresh air! Then again, it comes with a little sadness, because I’ve started to meet people in the other place. I’ll sit with it, I...

Hi guys, I have to do a placement year in September, for a course I'm studying. I'm currently studying in the same city as the ex that I'm trying to move on from. I've made a few friends there now, and I quite like the place (but I'm commuting there at the moment, because I'm not doing the...

It does, yes! All things I wish I knew before my experience. Not that it necessarily would've changed things, but it would've been nice to have a chance to know. One thing which I think is hard with a CPTSD related break up, is that you really don't always know what the leading cause was. In...

Do you see a distinction between working on yourself in the context of a relationship, and working on yourself individually Freida? In my experience, the person seemed to work on themselves a lot in general, but in the relationship they seemed to struggle more with owning things and working on...

Do you mean - you saw signs, but kind of negated them because feelings were involved, and it's hard to understand the depth of something until you've really been there long enough? And by 'hallmark' do you mean that you kind of held out hope that things would be okay because your feelings led...

One thing that's helped me is to speak to a distant friend of mine who has CPTSD/BPD just like my ex did. She contacted me about something the other day and I gently asked if she'd mind if I asked some questions. The way her and her fiance handle things sounds amazing. Her fiances family even...

I just re-read this post - I think Ecdysis was right, and I did overinvest without meaning to. From a non-CTPSD perspective… my intentions from my side were wholly good, and I think theirs were too (even though things got messy). These things are hard, and I wish they weren’t… at the core, I...

Thank you - this is helpful. I know it's kind of impossible to know what's going on for another person just by reading about it on the internet, but it at least serves to show me that these kinds of situations can be very layered, and complicated to understand in any meaningful way. And that...

Yeah, you're right :) I was chewing over you wrote here, and I think it's just that... I want to know how to feel about it. And how to categorise it. I wake up missing her, but is it even her that I miss, or is it my image of her? Or else am I catastrophically misreading her condition, and her...

Thanks for the reply! I appreciate your openness about your experiences and your thoughts on the situation. There's no pressure to keep engaging if it becomes a lot of effort, but I do find it helpful in piecing things together, and processing it all. It's really helpful to speak to people...

Thank you! I’m hoping that speaking with this therapist will help - my brain has definitely swung backwards and forwards between some wild interpretations of this situation - “Oh, she’s awful. Oh wait, no - I’M awful. Oh wait… it’s ALL awful! Oh wait… no, it’s all okay! OH, NOW IT‘S BAD AGAIN!”...

Thank you - you’re right, it is hard… but I’m hoping it’ll get there before long :)

The person I was with openly talked about manipulation sometimes - either how she could manipulate me, or how she could make her dad do things, etc... it made things very confusing! Or maybe clearer. But the confusing part was like "No one just SAYS this stuff... so there must be more to...

Thank you - my brother used to say this too "Reverse the roles". He told me that if he saw a guy publicly yelling at a girl like she did to me, he'd be on the verge of calling the police. But y'know... it's hard. Because every comment is contextual, every action is like... "Did they mean...

Agreed, I appreciated your input in general! 😊