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That seems like a very good analogy!

Thank you Friday, I appreciate it! In some ways, I feel better than I've felt in months re the whole situation. In otherwise I feel tired - either because I'm in a weird life season generally, or because maybe I'm suddenly processing the whole situation from a place of feeling more grounded...

Weeell, they have a few times and I’ve wanted to make space for them because of all that they’ve been through (and I still care about them). Plus, why not? I like them, soo… but they always disappear again - and usually on their terms, not mine (they’ll ask their questions, get their answers...

Thank you for all of your encouragement - it's really appreciated! We knew each other for six months prior, then it lasted six months, and it's been over for around five months (with a little ongoing contact which has now stopped). But it was an inteeeense, wild six months!

Thank you! I did - they weren't into it just now, which I understand - I was being a bit intense...! I could feel myself shaking as we spoke. I can be pretty great socially, when I'm on top of things. And I was doing okay... but... I just felt very anxious and found it hard to control it. I...

Yeah, totally get it! I don't know the answer, but I think it must lie partly in staying in touch with what people want and need - and not just subjectively, but objectively. In my situation, I wasn't able to move when the other person wanted me to. They then 'set a boundary' which meant "I'm...

I totally get it, but boundaries aren't best when it's "my way or the highway and I'll call that a boundary so it sounds better". You can do that of course, but I feel like they're ideally meant to be mutually discussed, explored and somewhat negotiated. Not always, but if they're just used to...

Again - EXACTLY my experience the first time (they broke up with me once, then again about two weeks later). The first time they asked for space, I gave it to them and they couldn’t believe I was doing that!. They messaged me every day and I replied. Then they told me they felt that it was...

It’s interesting to hear you say that - I had in mind that it was probably the biggest “no no” to go against a PTSD ”Give me space!” I wanted to honour that, but it was super hard for two days before I pulled myself together a bit. I get what youre saying though, because i also kind of think…...

It makes everything sooo hard. When they broke up with me, they said they wanted space, but they broke up with me partly because they thought I didn’t like them. And it left a ton of scope for overthinking, because it was like… if I don’t give them space, I’m going against what they want. But...

Yeah, it's no fun, hey? It was eye opening to find out that much of this isn't necessitated by CPTSD too... I always thought "They've had some very, very difficult things go on, and they're trying, and the least I can do is try to help out." Which is all true, it's just... if you don't know...

Thanks everyone! It was such a blessing to realise that's what was going on. It's kind of made sense of everything for me, and it's given me a lot of peace. At the moment, it feels like they hold everyone to ransom a little bit - I don't think they mean to, but it's what it can amount to, I...

I think I realised something today that might have been a breakthrough in my story. I’ve really struggle to let go of my ex with CPTSD. i just couldn’t understand what happened, or why it all still felt ‘current’. Today, I realised that I’d bought into a relationship entirely on their terms...

Thanks for taking time to reply in such a detailed way! So... like... and CPTSD doesn't add anything extra in terms of the behaviour we're talking about (rather than PTSD)? And when people say CPTSD relationships are hard, that's *not* because of the type of things I experienced? Does it...

Yes, I see! But let me push back, so that I understand better: If someone is having a schizphrenic, dementia or psychosis episode, they’re kind of… ‘them but not them’, I think? (Unless I’m wrong about that?) My ex would push physical boundaries, but then… they were also hyper-sexual, and - I...

They used to tell me things quite out of the blue - actually, when I might’ve preferred a light conversation (though I felt privileged that they’d share their story with me). I’d never ask, but they often shared pro-actively… I wonder about that…

This is helpful! I’m going to delete some of these posts soon, because if they found these one day, I think they’d be ashamed and hurt, and I’d hate that. It’s why I’ve tried to never gender them etc. But I think I’m still hurting about our relationship, partly because I don’t understand it…...

Hi Everyone! I don't really have any active CPTSD relationships anymore, but I'm still interested in the subject at the moment (maybe I'm still processing, maybe I'm just curious - I don't know). Sometimes I hear about a CPTSD/PTSD relationship situation and someone will say "That doesn't...

I love that quote at the end - and thanks for sharing an insight into what things are like for you. I feel like I'm learning all the time on this forum! Well, if nothing else, it sounds like you guys have developed something of a life together over a long period of time. I suppose you can't...

Sorry for your loss in 2019! Well, I hear you. One thing I’ve loved about being on this forum, is hearing about how people just kinda… ‘work it out’ somehow, and how people find ways to make things work for them. It shows that these things don’t have to follow ’the normal rules’. It sounds as...

Thanks for your thoughts, I really appreciate them! So - what made you stick with it? They must really be the one!

Yeah, that’s really helpful. I could do with practicing the shift from ’I really love this person and want them to stay. I know they’re hurting so I’ll make up the shortfall so that they can‘ to ‘I really love this person and want them to stay. I know they’re hurting, so I’ll look after my...

I’d love to talk to someone like yourself, and hear more about your story. It sounds redemptive, and challenging, and full of alive-ness (rather than something which is only comfortable and a bit numb). I just don’t know if I’m resilient enough to turn over in my double bed one day and see...

This is helpful. As always, this forum is a source of ‘cold water realism’! I edited the post a little since you replied (sorry!), but I think the things you’ve said still apply. Theyve said they feel like their CPTSD is clearing, and that they feel quite level headed at the moment. But it’s...

Hi everyone! Just here for a little wisdom again. It’s been a tough week this week. I really, really struggled at the start of the week (and last weekend), but had a great therapy session early in the week. By the end of it, I felt like I was starting to properly grieve the relationship I’ve...