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Oh hon, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. First of all, you will never, ever be to far gone to be helped. And you are NOT mad. I see tremendous value in you. You're an amazing person and I care about you. I learned a long time ago not to always listen to what everyone else says...

You are not alone Barberian. I was completely overloaded today. Thankfully it doesn't happen eveyr day, but when it does, it nails me to the wall. I work in a small room of cubicles so the sound bounces off the walls amplifying things. There are no windows nor natural light and it feels very...

Thank you so much for sharing, Albatross! I'm fortunate in that my immune issues don't seem quite so severe. I'm so sorry you experienced so much loss. It does sound like your immune system is very much out of balance. My heart breaks for you because I know how that is. I know that sad empty...

I'm 36 years old. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD in 2010. I lost my fallopian tubes to endometriosis. Been through 4 cycles of IVF - 3 failed and 1 miscarriage at 6.5 weeks. Heartbreak doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. We are hoping to start another cycle soon. We still have hope...

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. You might want to read an autobiography called Miss America by Day by Marilyn Van Derbur. She is a PTSD sufferer and experienced something like that every day. For some reason, her body would get so overwhelmed it would shut down for a period of time. I...

Personally, I would like to move to a nice tropical island with my hubby. I think that would do wonders and keep annoying family and workmates across the pond so to speak. What I find when I start getting heavily triggered is to do my best to remove myself from the environment but sometimes that...

Good for you. One day at a time. That's all. Keep us posted! Hugs G.

I understand how you feel and how anxiety can build intensely around something like meds. It's your lifeline and what you depended on and now you feel like a mess and yet fear changing to something else because it could be worse... I've been there. I've been on so many antidepressants over the...

You hit the nail on the head, Giz. I have that problem too - I look and feel old and achy all the time. Almost like my body's 20 years older than it really is. I heard that it's from extreme internal stress with PTSD. Ugh, I just wish the person in the mirror didn't look 10 years older than I...

I know how you feel. I don't see the monster, but I see someone horrible inside and house. I see a whiner, a groaner, someone who can't deal with things or daily stress. I see weakness. I also see nothing but imperfections which are so crowded in that nothing remains of what could be a nice...

Sorry I haven't posted to this thread in a while but my email didn't notify me there were most posts - will have to check my settings on that one. It is just so wonderful to hear that I'm not alone - not that I would wish this on my worse enemy. Scott you had some wonderful words and thoughts...

Thanks Intothelight, Your words make a lot of sense. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II about 2 years prior to my PTSD diagnosis. I believe my father had Bipolar II as well as he had definite up and down-swings in his moods and was alternately chatty and upbeat and depressed and withdrawn. He...

I have complex PTSD from multiple childhood traumas, growing up in Africa with violence and rioting, Rhodesian Bush war at age 4, molested by my grandfather, rejected by my father when I told him. My father had a heart attack in front of me and I was the only one who knew CPR - I was 16 and...

Thanks Kapril, that's wonderful. I lost my fallopian tubes to endometriosis and for some reason I can't get pregnant after multiple rounds of IVF and the one time I did, I miscarried. It felt like a cruel joke because I don't seem to be allowed any happiness in this life. People who have PTSD...

Ben, you TOTALLY ROCK!!:D Thank you for that info and for taking the time to type it all!:):) How cute is that video!!!:laugh: I love cats, I have 4, actually - 3 of them black - and they rule our house. They are not so much our pets as we are their humans: Squeaky (aka Mr. Squeaky when he's...

Thank you, Bubs! Thank you for your wonderful hugs. You have no idea how much I needed them! Your words were so kind and thoughtful!

Hey Ben, Thanks so much for the compliments! That is just so nice to hear! :):):) Nurses don't hear that very much. I used to drink coffee almost by the gallon to keep my brain going, but I quit in 2010 as we were (and still are) trying to have a baby. :( And it was becoming an addiction as...

Truthfully, I'm struggling with this one. I feel so worthless and damaged half the time, don't even feel like I belong anywhere and seem to screw up repeatedly because of my molasses brain. I'm alive for my kitties and my husband because he (for some unknown reason) puts me on a pedestal and...

Thanks, Bubzilla! I'm definitely going to look into this! :laugh:

I could have written that. I have a pile of notepads down stairs by my pills and vitamins. I have pens in my purse, in the bathroom, my study and car. I write on the back of my hand so I can see contintual reminders. My desk at work is like a post-it explosion. I also have 5-6 legal pads lying...

Way to go! Knew you could do it!

Bubzilla, Just had to let you know I had an almost terminal case of the "dumb" today.:confused: Really felt like screwing my head off and handing it to someone else to deal with. I'm working so slow it's just a matter of time until my boss comes down on my head (unless I've handed it off).:p

Bubzilla, I love your pic. :laugh: That is exactly how I feel daily! LOL! You made me smile and that doesn't happen often these days. Thanks!

Hi Greycloud, I understand how you feel. I had a long talk with my therapist about memory just last week (we do it a lot because I keep forgetting what she's said :p ) and she always has a lot to say. She's been studying PTSD for over 20 years and she tried to explain it to me in layman's...

Kaii! What an amazing inner strength you have! I don't think we give ourselves enough credit on this forum. We deal with everyday stress and then we have PTSD which magnifies that x1000. Kaii, I take my hat off to you for taking that brave step and I know how hard it is as I'm a nurse too. I...